One Month To Live

[Rev Bill R]

What would you do if you found out you had "One Month to Live"?

I am teaching a class on this subject and I'm seeking serious opinions if you were in this situation.

Thanks for any input.

Blessings to All

[Hyper Real]

What would you do if you found out you had "One Month to Live"?

I am teaching a class on this subject and I'm seeking serious opinions if you were in this situation.

Thanks for any input.

Blessings to All

What do you expect to teach as you say you are teaching a class on it?

And for what purpose?

There are many people who are actually in this condition, out of respect for those I cannot agree to entertain such kind of hypothetical conditions, not for some class or any other things.

Other might disagree and find it an interesting exercise but I do not.

I hope you understand my position here.

.

Edited March 5, 2012 by hyperreal

[Songster]

Rev. Bill,

Thank you for the opportunity to help.

I try to live every day as if it is my last day (as none of us are guaranteed tomorrow), but if told that I had only 30 days....

1) I'd pray,thanking my Creator for the many blessings bestowed, and begging His forgiveness and mercy for my many faults.

2) I'd make sure that those that I hold dear to my heart are aware of their importance.

3) I'd endeavor to perform my job duties to the best of my abilities.

4) I'd seek opportunities to be of service to others.

I hope I was of assistance to you in your research. Good Luck!

[Dorian Gray]

What would you do if you found out you had "One Month to Live"?

You should live everyday like it is your last..because it could be.

[Rev Bill R]

Thanks Songster, for your input.

Thanks Dorian Gray

hyperreal....the class is to identify an individual's possible thoughts in their last days. To recognize how meaningful our relationships are with others. It's to look at, "Why does it take a catastrophic event for us to try to restore broken relationship? Why can't we humble ourselves and forgiven/ask forgiveness to others?

Edited March 5, 2012 by Rev Bill R

[Dorian Gray]

http://www.christiancrafters.com/lesson_jar_of_rocks.htm

This is a lesson that many adults still need to learn...I use a non-religious verison when teaching my troops about priorities and what is really important in life.

[Brother Kaman]

When I discover I only have 30 days to live I will try to remember this thread and make a definitive comment. In the mean time, I will guess that I would gather those I love around me and tell them of the extent of that love. I would also make a few phone calls and tell a few people to kiss it.

[VonNoble]

There are many people who are actually in this condition, out of respect for those I cannot agree to entertain such kind of hypothetical conditions, not for some class or any other things.

Other might disagree and find it an interesting exercise but I do not.

I hope you understand my position here.

.

I have great respect for this position, Hyperreal. In fact, I believe it took some courage to post it in clear tones.

I have not faced this nor would I begin to know what I would do.

My father did however face it. He was in his late 80s......I live several states away.

He had always lived his life prepared for death. He was a decorated Marine (heavily) from WWII, Korean Conflict and Vietnam. Front-line duty each time. Death did not hold any sway over him. Nor did the process of dying.

From diagnosis to final breath it was 38 days.

Prior to this, I had buried my mother and my best friend (my best friend when I was in my mid-thirties).

Each taught me lessons about how to process death. My mother taught me how painful, slow and frustrating the process can be. For all concerned.

My friend convinced me the medical folks are well intentioned by not really in control of much.

And my dad taught me how to exiting with powerful strength if that is at all an option.

He signed himself out of the hospital (of sound mind and then some)...he signed himself into a hospice facility...and when I left one night just after midnight - he called the staff to his room and he signed to do not feed orders. He removed the decision from the children. He planned the funeral service. And he called me to his beside without the others knowing (I flew in and out of the state without them knowing I had been there) - in order to hear everything he wanted to be said at the services. He tasked each of his children with management of a different part of the funeral. He gave each of us a message to deliver to the others when we were in the hearse riding to the cemetery. The eldest was designated to accept the flag once folded. And it was his express wish that not one of us "stand there blubbering - because that is not dignified and it is unnecessary".....we did as he requested. At least till we returned to the privacy of the limo.

I think after watching him.....I can observe that he kept his daily routine as close to normal as he could physically muster.

He offered polite conversation till he could not speak. He held our hand when we sang to him...he loved family sing alongs.... or when we read to him.

On my last flight to see him - I arrived after three days of battling weather related problems keeping me from "making it in time".......and he had not spoken a word in two days.....My siblings had a car waiting at the airport and they whisked me straight away to the hospice facility. The room was that grim kind of quiet.

I leaned over and called his name...and he opened his eyes.....and said in the faintest whisper - how was your flight (the siblings were stunned he talked!)...and I said fine...and he said; are your arms tired from flying? and he laughed.

I haven't a clue if I would ever be able to do that. But if I could laugh and make others laugh - I think that would be a pretty great 30 days.

Von

[Songster]

What a moving and inspirational post, Von. From your description of your father, his character, honor, and courage are worthy of emulation. I especially like your final words of advice- "...if I could laugh and make others laugh - I think that would be a pretty great 30 days."

Edited March 5, 2012 by Songster

[mererdog]

If you tell me I only have 30 days to live, I will spend it trying to prove you wrong. I am not a believer in fate, nor in the inerrancy of doctors...

[Crzyme]

I do not for sure know what I would/will do if or when I know my time is thusly limited, however I have had some great examples to choose from because of being with others in that situation.

My grandmother wrote personal notes to all her loved ones (she had 10 children still living when she passed, as well as 44 grandchildren, 72 great grandchildren and 3 great great grandchildren all got hand written messages, and that is not counting her friends and other relatives) I love mine and this is an idea I would like to have the opportunity to emulate. She passed with all of her ten children (as well as many of the grandchildren, and great grandchildren) around her bed in her own home with hospice care, just after she asked them to sing to her, they were singing "Happy trails" when she stopped breathing.

My younger sister died of brain cancer, she lost her ability to talk (walk and sit up on her own) about a month before she lost her life, so she grasp the hand of each visitor and looked them in the eye and smiled, this was all she was able to do, and yet all were touched and knew she loved them and thanked them for coming. She was gone two days before her body gave up, her breathing winding down slower and slower until it stopped.

My father, always a peaceful man, gave away all his possessions in his last months of life when he was dying from esophageal cancer, and gave the story of how he came to possess each gift he was giving, all his children grand children and the one great grandchild were given things and stories from him. He planned and paid for his funeral, he choose to spend his final moments in hospice care in his own home where He told corny jokes and made people laugh and he did so until his last breath. His final words were "well looks like its time to boot scoot boogie away" then he just stopped breathing.

I have a dear friend who has pancreatic cancer, she is stage four and the cancer has spread to her liver and lungs, she is working out her own way of leaving the living behind, she is giving away her garden, with transplants, cuttings and some seeds she is in the process of sending her garden all around the globe. A master gardener she has heirloom plants and such a lovely yard, and this is how she has chosen to use her final time, she says she will keep at it until physically unable to do the job.

I have another friend who is stage four lung cancer, she angrily took to her bed, taking her cigarettes with her and is telling the world to go to hell, refuses to see anyone will only yell through the door for people to go away, stopped taking even her children's phone calls, her answering machine says "I am dying leave me the hell alone"

her husband is the only one allowed in her room, he tends to her needs as well as he can, he is in misery as is she.

I hope I will be of good spirits if given 30 days, I hope I can give something to those I love in which they will derive pleasure after I am gone from this life. I do not fear death, even as I do not wish to face it for a very long time to come. I hope I can go with peace, grace and dignity and will be remembered fondly by those I love.

None of us truly know how we will react to the news of our expiration cause and approximate date but we can take note from others who go through the process. I use to want my death to come quickly without knowledge of its impeding arrival, however after witnessing others who had knowledge that they were going to die and what they did with that time, I do hope now that I have the opportunity to have knowledge.

[Rev Bill R]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR INPUT!!

This is an actual study/challenge from Kerry Shook Ministries. It is listed as a "New York Times Bestseller".

To check it out, go to http://onemonthtolive.com

Blessings to All

[mark 45]

even after 2 + years,this is hard for me to answer.

my mom spent 2 weeks of her last 4 letting me know she hated me,and that she wasn't leaving me anything.my last words on that were that i did NOT care.

2 weeks before she died,she asked me if it was ok if she died.i told her it was.after that,she pretty much quit talking to anyone.

[Fawzo]

What I would like to do is max out my credit cards and go Bigfoot Hunting in Oregon, but realizing how little time I have to spend with those I love and that love me I would defer and spend time with them. I would probably quit work.

[Dan56]

I think most people would spend their last 30 days attending to what they love the most in life. If they love the world, they would spend the time doing worldly things. If they love others, they would spend the time with those they love. If they love themselves, they would spend the time and their money on themselves. If they love God, they would probably spend most of the time on their knees. I personally would fall into the last category, I'd be more concerned about where I was going instead of what I was leaving.

[Fawzo]

I think most people would spend their last 30 days attending to what they love the most in life. If they love the world, they would spend the time doing worldly things. If they love others, they would spend the time with those they love. If they love themselves, they would spend the time and their money on themselves. If they love God, they would probably spend most of the time on their knees. I personally would fall into the last category, I'd be more concerned about where I was going instead of what I was leaving.

That last line tells me then that you have never fully experienced the love of God and that you would spend your last days in fear. But that isn't surprsing considering the basis of your belief system

[RabbiO]

I am reminded of the old joke about the fellow who is told my his doctor that he has terminal illness and will be dead in 30 days. The fellow replies, "Well, I'd better pack my bags and move to Baltimore." [Actually, in the joke as I heard it the city was Cleveland, but this is my subtle pulling of Fawzo's chain.] When the doctor asks why, the fellow replies, "In Baltimore it will feel like 30 years."

[Crzyme]

I think most people would spend their last 30 days attending to what they love the most in life. If they love the world, they would spend the time doing worldly things. If they love others, they would spend the time with those they love. If they love themselves, they would spend the time and their money on themselves. If they love God, they would probably spend most of the time on their knees. I personally would fall into the last category, I'd be more concerned about where I was going instead of what I was leaving.

It would never enter my mind to worry or have any fear about where I am going, where ever that is will be forever, (or as long as the next part lasts) but what I am leaving will no longer be the same so saying goodbye would be key for me personally.

even after 2 + years,this is hard for me to answer.

my mom spent 2 weeks of her last 4 letting me know she hated me,and that she wasn't leaving me anything.my last words on that were that i did NOT care.

2 weeks before she died,she asked me if it was ok if she died.i told her it was.after that,she pretty much quit talking to anyone.

This is so sad my heart hurts for you both.

What I would like to do is max out my credit cards and go Bigfoot Hunting in Oregon, but realizing how little time I have to spend with those I love and that love me I would defer and spend time with them. I would probably quit work.

LMAO well this is one that uses the old adage "He who dies owing the most, wins!"

[grateful]

revbill, thank you for the opportunity to put thoughts together around this - it bubbles just below the surface for many of us

I have lost a few in my life, and as others here, have learned from their journey's end. thanks to those who shared their experiences

I am among those who believe that we should live every day that way, as if it were our last.

due to work obligations and other pesky details, I might not be able to spend them near the sea, with my dog and loved ones here and gone beside me..

in reality, after years of living away from my only child (no grief or animosity led her away or kept us apart, only work and a strong sense of adventure) I now live only a short drive away; I chose to move across the continent to be closer to her and to enjoy a new place.. I did not want to spend my fifties pining away for her and chose action over inaction

there are places I've always wanted to see, if that were physically possible, I would go (!)

and finally, heavy on my heart is that a friend here is probably answering and living this question as we speak, I pray the goddess has her wrapped in a warm embrace, that her suffering lessens and that those she loves and those that love her are carried gently to a new place and a new understanding

[Dan56]

That last line tells me then that you have never fully experienced the love of God and that you would spend your last days in fear. But that isn't surprsing considering the basis of your belief system

I didn't mention anything about fear? (2 Timothy 1:7) , The apostle Paul wrote this in his final days. Prayer would be for guidance of what to do in my final days, not fearing, but having the desire to meet any remaining purpose which the Lord might have use of me. For me, love for God is saying "not my will, but thine be done".