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VonNoble

Making life better

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Contentment might be as elusive as wealth.

 

Is there something specific you can do (or stop doing ) to make your life more balanced or contented?

 

Whatever it is...can you name it?   ...does the obstacle preventing you or blocking you....does the pause button ....have a name?

 

(funds....wealth....too much ambition...to little....low self esteem....over confidence)

 

i am am wondering if there is are one or two roadblocks many of us have in common?   Just a curiosity question 

 

von

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10 hours ago, Brother Kaman said:

I could never have foreseen what a wonderful life I have had/having. I am well content with myself. It would be perfect if my wife's health was better.

You have a balanced point of view.    I admire that.   Too, being in a possibly similar situation, you also have my empathy.

 

   Empathy does not solve health issues.... but it also staves off moments when health issues with someone you love - can make one feel inevitably.... momentarily.....isolated.

von

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12 hours ago, VonNoble said:

Contentment might be as elusive as wealth.

 

Is there something specific you can do (or stop doing ) to make your life more balanced or contented?

 

Whatever it is...can you name it?   ...does the obstacle preventing you or blocking you....does the pause button ....have a name?

Fear.    When I was young - I lived more boldly, championed more quickly, dared more often....

 

i was told back back then with age; comes wisdom.

 

i am seeing if there is any wisdom... so too there is far more hesitancy, reduced confidence and fear in general.

 

Not fear of death.   Not fear of protecting possessions.    

 

Fear of of becoming useless....fear of being a burden.    

 

It is no longer how do I acquire... stuff is of little import.....now it is caring about retaining independence....relevance etc.

 

Maybe that is unique to

me...I don’t know -I don-t recall it coming up much in daily chit chat with others.

 

von

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2 hours ago, VonNoble said:

Maybe that is unique to

me...I don’t know -I don-t recall it coming up much in daily chit chat with others.

The important stuff rarely does. Most people live their daily lives in the shallow end of the pool. That's not a judgement, just an observation. 

I dont mean to invalidate your fears or pretend to understand your perspective, but... As we grow we have to constantly relearn how to find value in ourselves- how to love the person we have become.

Few people want to be a burden. But our burdens are what make us strong. They tell us, and the world, what matters to us. They give us reason to be proud. 

Even If you must become a burden, you can still find joy, and you can still bring joy to others. It is reasonable to fear this potential, but there is also reason to embrace it. I know it is corny and trite, but if you can't be with the one you love....

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I am a lazy procrastinator. It causes lots of problems in my life. It damages my relationships and my reputation. I know this, yet I am not motovated enough to fix it. I have, however, stopped lying to myself by saying that I will work on fixing it tomorrow.

Edited by mererdog

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20 hours ago, VonNoble said:

Contentment might be as elusive as wealth.

 

Is there something specific you can do (or stop doing ) to make your life more balanced or contented?

 

Whatever it is...can you name it?   ...does the obstacle preventing you or blocking you....does the pause button ....have a name?

 

(funds....wealth....too much ambition...to little....low self esteem....over confidence)

 

i am am wondering if there is are one or two roadblocks many of us have in common?   Just a curiosity question 

 

von

I have heard it said that the obstacle is the way.  I am not certain I fully fathom what that means, certainly not for others.  But for myself, it means that the obstacles encountered are opportunities rather than setbacks.  

Then, I consider that regardless of the path I take, I will one day end up in the same place as all the people around me, and all the people have ended up before me.  Dead.

I would hazard that one of the major roadblocks we mostly have in common is desire.

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20 hours ago, VonNoble said:

Contentment might be as elusive as wealth.

 

Is there something specific you can do (or stop doing ) to make your life more balanced or contented?

 

Whatever it is...can you name it?   ...does the obstacle preventing you or blocking you....does the pause button ....have a name?

 

(funds....wealth....too much ambition...to little....low self esteem....over confidence)

 

i am am wondering if there is are one or two roadblocks many of us have in common?   Just a curiosity question 

 

von

Interesting quandary. However, it could also be viewed that those obstacles, or roadblocks, are just strengths towards contentment that we don't realize at the time. Think of it...when one comes to a roadblock in the path of their destination, one could quit the journey, or find a way around it and continue on.

That fork in the road, as you will, is about all we have in common with EVERYONE, as situations, goals, or destinations may differ from one person to the next.

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10 minutes ago, Key said:

That fork in the road, as you will, is about all we have in common with EVERYONE, as situations, goals, or destinations may differ from one person to the next.

Never really thought about it like that. Kind of like the old common enemy thing. It has a certain emotional appeal.

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14 hours ago, mererdog said:

The important stuff rarely does. Most people live their daily lives in the shallow end of the pool. That's not a judgement, just an observation. 

I dont mean to invalidate your fears or pretend to understand your perspective, but... As we grow we have to constantly relearn how to find value in ourselves- how to love the person we have become.

Few people want to be a burden. But our burdens are what make us strong. They tell us, and the world, what matters to us. They give us reason to be proud. 

Even If you must become a burden, you can still find joy, and you can still bring joy to others. It is reasonable to fear this potential, but there is also reason to embrace it. I know it is corny and trite, but if you can't be with the one you love....

Thank you for this

von

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9 hours ago, cuchulain said:

I have heard it said that the obstacle is the way.  I am not certain I fully fathom what that means, certainly not for others.  But for myself, it means that the obstacles encountered are opportunities rather than setbacks.  

Then, I consider that regardless of the path I take, I will one day end up in the same place as all the people around me, and all the people have ended up before me.  Dead.

I would hazard that one of the major roadblocks we mostly have in common is desire.

I would agree...although as such....it is known by many names more than likely

;)

von

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9 hours ago, Key said:

Interesting quandary. However, it could also be viewed that those obstacles, or roadblocks, are just strengths towards contentment that we don't realize at the time. Think of it...when one comes to a roadblock in the path of their destination, one could quit the journey, or find a way around it and continue on.

That fork in the road, as you will, is about all we have in common with EVERYONE, as situations, goals, or destinations may differ from one person to the next.

In general terms that is so.     But identical circumstances net widely different results at that fork in the road.   Our reaction to it (benefit or problem) ..... and the subsequent action (or lack of action) are influenced greatly by our character.... priorities etc...... maybe.....

 

von

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7 hours ago, VonNoble said:

In general terms that is so.     But identical circumstances net widely different results at that fork in the road.   Our reaction to it (benefit or problem) ..... and the subsequent action (or lack of action) are influenced greatly by our character.... priorities etc...... maybe.....

 

von

I see what you're saying. Character, priorities and etc. greatly influence our situations and goals, and therefore our destinations, too. So, while circumstances may be identical, the goal may rarely be. Thus, it still falls that the roadblock is the only common denominator. At least in my view.

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12 minutes ago, Key said:

I see what you're saying. Character, priorities and etc. greatly influence our situations and goals, and therefore our destinations, too. So, while circumstances may be identical, the goal may rarely be. Thus, it still falls that the roadblock is the only common denominator. At least in my view.

We agree.... love it when that is part of a Thread  :D

 

Facing obstacles is inevitable 

 

Even though each of is chooses our own weapon/way to work around them.... I am wondering if we have only a handful (or less) of obstacles once named.

 

Does it boil  down,  in our personal life to two or three?    Are we collectively less content than we aspire to be because (as noted above) by desire?  What we desire may be known by different labels (money, shelter, freedom etc) ....but the big label is “desire”

 

 I suggested another might be fear.

 

i am wondering if several people pick a label... would it amount to only three? Four?

 

if there is commonality.... would the  solutions also share commonality? 

Von

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46 minutes ago, VonNoble said:

I am wondering if several people pick a label... would it amount to only three? Four?

If only...

I would be happy, if only I could stop going to school. I would be happy, if only I didn't have to work for a living. I would be happy, if only retirement wasn't so boring.

 

I would be happy, if only I had a car. I would be happy, if only I didn't have to pay so much for my car. I would be happy, if only my car wasn't always in the shop.

 

I would be happy, if only I had kids. I would be happy, if only I could find some time away from the kids. I would be happy, if only the kids would visit more.

 

I would be happy, if only I made more money. I would be happy, if only I had more free time.

 

I would be happy, if only I knew how.

Edited by mererdog
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5 minutes ago, mererdog said:

If only...

I would be happy, if only I could stop going to school. I would be happy, if only I didn't have to work for a living. I would be happy, if only retirement wasn't so boring.

 

I would be happy, if only I had a car. I would be happy, if only I didn't have to pay so much for my car. I would be happy, if only my car wasn't always in the shop.

 

I would be happy, if only I had kids. I would be happy, if only I could find some time away from the kids. I would be happy, if only the kids would visit more.

 

I would be happy, if only I made more money. I would be happy, if only I had more free time.

 

I would be happy, if only I knew how.

Are happy and contented the same thing?

maybe they are....I didn’t look it up 

 

My fault for failing to do so

 

I always  associated “happy” with happily ever after..... zero problems .... as in fairy tale-ish

 

Contented...a bit more realistic....as in less than you can dream up .... appreciating that you have enough to be satisfied

 

so maybe I need to check out my own understanding if those words

 

:oops:

von

 

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There is likely to be a lot of disagreemebt over the meaning of these words. The inherently subjective nature sort of makes it inevitable. That said...

Basic Google definition-

hap·py
ˈhapē/
adjective
  1. 1.
    feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
     
Edited by mererdog

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I think that making life better, is to learn how to experience and enjoy the trip, rather than relying on happiness coming upon reaching our destination. I have personally been frustrated, accomplishing some goals but never reaching others. I have been happy and unhappy, but never content. I've been broke and well-off, wanting something when I had nothing and wanting more when I had a lot. God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.  

 

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" ( Philippians 4:11-13).

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On 2/28/2018 at 5:30 AM, VonNoble said:

We agree.... love it when that is part of a Thread  :D

 

Facing obstacles is inevitable 

 

Even though each of is chooses our own weapon/way to work around them.... I am wondering if we have only a handful (or less) of obstacles once named.

 

Does it boil  down,  in our personal life to two or three?    Are we collectively less content than we aspire to be because (as noted above) by desire?  What we desire may be known by different labels (money, shelter, freedom etc) ....but the big label is “desire”

 

 I suggested another might be fear.

 

i am wondering if several people pick a label... would it amount to only three? Four?

 

if there is commonality.... would the  solutions also share commonality? 

Von

Collective is more reliant on many separate variables, whereas an individual has only the self in regards to obtaining contentment.

If you are inquiring about fear, you are looking at a variable or motivator. Variables or motivators instill an action or reaction differently to an individual than it would a collective. An example: fear would only either cause a collective to flee, confront, or to disperse to do both. An individual would only have fight or flight.

In the greater picture, I might well be wrong. Just further proof that the issue of contentment isn't simple.

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On 2/28/2018 at 10:07 PM, Dan56 said:

I think that making life better, is to learn how to experience and enjoy the trip, rather than relying on happiness coming upon reaching our destination. 

Dan 56... thank you for this...I agree.

 

Is there a specific one thing you could do right now on that journey to make life more contented...happier....less frustrating?

 

In general terms what you have said is true and I agree.    

 

On the journey we often, as you noted, have moments of restlessness, frustration,  impatience... whatever.   We all have low points.   And we recover.  

 

 Are some roadblocks more common by age?   Gender? Is there a pattern of things we all learn to master but never share?    Can we benefit from sharing actual victories?   Can we be inspired by the victories of others?  Not in general terms but by hearing specific lessons from others?

 

At times in life by Noting a target out loud we automatically elicit the support from others 

 

Five years ago I really needed to lose weight....once I said it out loud - I found others generously allowed me to be a pain in the butt talking about it too much as I learned a newer approach....facing the need to make a change sort of took a village  ;)

 

i felt much much better about myself as I gained health.    I was less angry with myself about the many previous failures.     I find now.... with reduced mobility I am going to have to do battle with that issue again.   (I have gained back 20 pounds so the challenge begins anew)

 

 And I will need to add new tools to win again.   I cannot burn off the same  number of calories now.... my mobility is so restrictive.... so I have to monitor intake more closely.   WAY more closely.   Contented is currently a daily challenge as I learn to adapt.

 

Increased  physical pain is a daily challenge for me now too.    Others are facing this.  I am not a bit special.   Others find ways to adapt and keep serenity intact.    In fact EVERY  ONE is facing roadblocks....and moving away from the dark side :P

 

what are the common roadblock beating ideas?

 

More contented is-perhaps a realization that we have enough?    Or maybe it is the recognition our issue is not at all unique:unsure: 

 

Does it boil down to appreciating all needs are met?  Crabby is a choice?  Lashing out a symptom of an emotion ...we could best deal with more effectively another way?

 

i don’t know.   I am trying to figure it out.  I know there is lots of wisdom on this Forum.    

 

what are we doing to stay stuck in “unhappy? “   If we have  what we need... why do we so often want more?     

 

if we  know something is not good for us -why do we chase after it?

:D

 

The devil has a name.    Naming it is a first step to slaying it.   Maybe? Each sin has a name.    The obstacle in our path has a time, place, trigger.... shape..... ignoring it perpetuates it maybe?   

 

Is it as simple as one tiny step?

 

At some point for you ....it was accepting Christ fully.   Is that still the complete and only answer or have you gained other insights to add to that?  

 

Is there today a practical one step to face one specific challenge? Not a generality but a specific thing that can help another slay a dragon?  

 

Prayer works.   Meditation works.   Finding more practical solutions (from others) sometimes works more immediately ) 

 

Drinking too much.... procrastinating too often.... whatever .... everyone is swimming toward happier... what is working?  What are you doing or what do you refrain from doing?

 

Thanks in advance for sharing what works...

von

 

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