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~ Thank you Michael :)

golden plays the light

across the fallow field

still silver water

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Sense is essential

To distinguish poetry

From mere gibberish.

The tolerant tongue

Aches behind tight clenched teeth

Choking kind critics.

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~ Thank you Michael :)

golden plays the light

across the fallow field

still silver water

You are so much better at this - but I am lyrically minded.....

couldn't help it.....

and yours was so much more "to form"....

i'll think a little more and see what I can come up with...

Edited by Brother Michael Sky

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Within the sea: sadness

I'm floating invisible

yet I'm told to smile

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no more tears to cry

the heart beats, no one to love

not even for itself

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~ Ahhh Devon, your senryu are lovely! :biggringthumb: { Senryu are self-focused short haiku. }

Traditional haiku is like a snap-shot, a picture of what is happening, the observer not involved.

I love all forms of short poetry, it's difficult to condense & perfect a moment in just a few lines... lovely done!

~ Yes Michael :D You're doing fine! We're here to enjoy playing with a goofy expresive language & express imagery. I love it!

~ Thank you Songster :)

I had a haiku teacher very strict.

It is only that moment you capture, But { & this is the drive-ya-crazy shtuff } must tie-in with another image or thought smoothly.

Yep. For a brilliant haiku.

... Screw it! I just enjoy the conciseness of a moment :dirol:

red velvet sky falls

mountains catch the clouds

pools of amber below

Edited by Qryos

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Qryos, I was fortunate to live in Japan when I was a child and learned the art from a beautiful soul that watched me while my parents were at work. She would take my haiku, and after many "Oooos" and "Ahhhs", would show me how to write them in kanji. I've long since forgotten how to write in the original language of the haiku, but continued to write at least one everyday. Like anything else in life, excersize and practice improves one's ability to perform.

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I like the challenge of writing poetry in various meter because I not only have to make my English fit the line, but more than half the time, I think in a combination of American Sign Language and English, and have the added challenge of choosing words that convey my thoughts and still fit the meter. (Seven sign glosses is not seven English Syllables, no matter how fast I move my hands).

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I like the challenge of writing poetry in various meter because I not only have to make my English fit the line, but more than half the time, I think in a combination of American Sign Language and English, and have the added challenge of choosing words that convey my thoughts and still fit the meter. (Seven sign glosses is not seven English Syllables, no matter how fast I move my hands).

There is something about the idea of signing while reciting poetry that feels very right..... :)

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There is something about the idea of signing while reciting poetry that feels very right..... :)

Although this is not Haiku, the Fall 2004 issue of Slope magazine was very special to me.... You can see why by following this link:

http://www.slope.org/archive/asl/

The late Clayton Valli will always remain a legend to deaf poets. Many of his glosses have no literal translation in spoken languages, yet to those who sign, no clarification is needed for the "made up" glosses, that show poetic license is not only for writing.

The flying words project still lives and breathes. I remember it from Deaf Way I, and this issue of slope shows excerpts from Deaf Way II (ten years later). These are cultural icons I embrace and celebrate as an adult because I was not "allowed to be deaf" as a kid (in other words I was forced to use English, not allowed to sign, and expected to swim against the tide of noise I could not interpret into useful sounds).

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Although this is not Haiku, the Fall 2004 issue of Slope magazine was very special to me.... You can see why by following this link:

http://www.slope.org/archive/asl/

The late Clayton Valli will always remain a legend to deaf poets. Many of his glosses have no literal translation in spoken languages, yet to those who sign, no clarification is needed for the "made up" glosses, that show poetic license is not only for writing.

The flying words project still lives and breathes. I remember it from Deaf Way I, and this issue of slope shows excerpts from Deaf Way II (ten years later). These are cultural icons I embrace and celebrate as an adult because I was not "allowed to be deaf" as a kid (in other words I was forced to use English, not allowed to sign, and expected to swim against the tide of noise I could not interpret into useful sounds).

There is something here which has all the hair standing up on my arms and neck - to say what I just watched "resonates" just doesn't do the actuality of the matter justice...

Br Devon, thank you for this introduction..... I believe you have just introduced me to something which will make my life more enjoyable.... and more fulfilling....

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Qryos, I was fortunate to live in Japan when I was a child and learned the art from a beautiful soul that watched me while my parents were at work. She would take my haiku, and after many "Oooos" and "Ahhhs", would show me how to write them in kanji. I've long since forgotten how to write in the original language of the haiku, but continued to write at least one everyday. Like anything else in life, excersize and practice improves one's ability to perform.

~ That's cool Songster! Haiku in Japanese is evidently much more difficult since haiku can't rhyme, & so many words do in Japanese.

& it's so much more involved with the imagery than syllabic count, like 'American' haiku.

I think both forms have their specific beauty, tho' translation is itself open for a specific art also ;)

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I like the challenge of writing poetry in various meter because I not only have to make my English fit the line, but more than half the time, I think in a combination of American Sign Language and English, and have the added challenge of choosing words that convey my thoughts and still fit the meter. (Seven sign glosses is not seven English Syllables, no matter how fast I move my hands).

~ Oh Devon! What a wonderful challenge! { Well, yes, I understand the frustration in it... but still :D }

Poetry IS imagery, emotion or experience that connects, whether in spoken or visual language. Haiku is an imagery form, but poetry itself is expression & you can!!!

'American' haiku is confined to 5-7-5, not Japanese, which is about expressing a moment concisely.

There are other short-form poetry forms also, tho' most are constrictive.

& of course there is 'free-form' where you make the rules, short or long... I used to write long sonnets & such, I just prefer the challenge of condenscing ;)

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~ For you Devon :friends:

hands dance in song

a day of poets gather

beauty for the soul

... it's not the syllabic count that's important... ;)

Edited by Qryos

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