Sign in to follow this  
RevTom

Forever In Chains

Recommended Posts

:( It has been 14 months since I was released from prison: you can view my data -at- gadept of corr.com. Maybe being so blunt about my past is not the best manner of business, but it cuts to the chase-those who wish to judge me based on my demeanor and efforts may, while those cannot see beyond the circumstances will not waste either their time nor mine.

I am at an impasse: After being released, it took me 3 months to find employment, and that only because it is a company who had previously employed me, and they know my character. The job is 54 miles from my house. Because of the travel time, and the stress factor of the job (dispatcher at a cab company), I am mentally and emotionally drained. I cannot meet ladies because of the obvious, and I cannot subscribe to internet dating services because of the no criminal background-no sex offender registry requirements they all have.

Please dont consider that I am whining-I got myself into this mess, and I am trying to get beyond it: the past being constantly thrown in my face doesn't help.

Because I saw so many people in prison that were given severe sentences, while others committing similar or worse crimes had an "easy walk", I promised those who are treated unfairly that I would help when I was released, but I have been unable to find any avenue in which their problems and injustices to them could be addressed: I dont advocate the wholesale release or mainstream reentry of all those serving time, but I hope to find a means in which I can help those who face the same roadblocks I do. It is daunting-I wake up every morning and wonder if this life is worth facing the brick walls that come constantly before me.

I would like to find or start a database of employers that will hire ex-offenders, based upon their conduct in prison, and likelyhood of successful reintegration into society and the workforce. I would also like to find or start an avenue by which those who show ability and determination to succeed, a way to finance businesses. Also, I would like to find or start a database of singles who would give ex-offenders a chance socially, or romantically-given the caveat that they must undergo strict supervision or oversight to ensure the safety of all participants: any ideas anyone?

Edited by murphzlaw1
reading ease

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi welcome to the forum.

I know it took a lot of strength to post what you have.

I don't know if you are on parol or not. But my first place would be to go to a parol officer. As that officer he will have information you need such as local jobs willing to hire. I know most ex-convicts do not like the patrol officers. I'm sure a lot of them have attitudes and judgements already firmly in place. But show them your willing and ready to move on with your life and I'm sure they will be more than happy to help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1st, please excuse me while I learn how to use the features,etc. effectively.

Have been on probation 4 months after serving 1 year on parole. Fortunately, I have had good people (parole and probation officer) since being released: that's not problem, and believe me, there are some horror stories re ex-cons with terrible people to report to. The problem is, there is no effective support group for parolees: No one wants to hire us. No one wants to include us in social settings. My idea is to find people who either know of or can help start a database of employers, penpals, email friends, financial assistance (business loans for those who show ability, integrity, etc. to repay loan).

The parole officers and probation give lists of employers who are hiring, but in every instance, I was turned down. It is especially humiliating to be turned down for a job at a chicken processing plant! Anyway, thanks for the reply.

Edited by lightfoot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1st, please excuse me while I learn how to use the features,etc. effectively.

Have been on probation 4 months after serving 1 year on parole. Fortunately, I have had good people (parole and probation officer) since being released: that's not problem, and believe me, there are some horror stories re ex-cons with terrible people to report to. The problem is, there is no effective support group for parolees: No one wants to hire us. No one wants to include us in social settings. My idea is to find people who either know of or can help start a database of employers, penpals, email friends, financial assistance (business loans for those who show ability, integrity, etc. to repay loan).

The parole officers and probation give lists of employers who are hiring, but in every instance, I was turned down. It is especially humiliating to be turned down for a job at a chicken processing plant! Anyway, thanks for the reply.

You may find that other special interest groups might take an interest - taking part in a campaign of awareness within their organizations and taking names from members of their group of business men and women who would be willing to hire ex-convicts who met certain criteria. They will already have a social infrastructure which would be beneficial.

Local homosexual rights groups may take an interest at the gay inmate angle.

Local Churches/ or if your area has it a cooperative organization of pastors / should take an interest in helping exconvicts.

You could write up a proposal plan, and present it to your local government, for a prisoner support program such as you have described. You may find psychologists willing to volunteer their time - or charitable government funding available for such a cause - to help in prisoner reintegration.

Just some ideas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really none of our business what you serve time for, but your link doesnt work, it send us to a debt consolidation website. I believe you have a great idea, but with jods so hard to come by without a criminal record. I do have a few suggestions, but without knowing what you served for some of these suggestions may be impossible for you at this time. Feel free to PM me if you do not want to discuss publiclly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for the input-the name is ga dept of corr. that is all you have to type in your browser. as in all browser searches, you will have to scroll to ga dept of corr., because only the browser god knows why it lists everything from peanuts to sassafras when you enter the search title. my name is tommy johns-maybe being all out in the open is not a good thing, but then again, how can I expect you to trust me if I try to hide my past? not that I want to carry a flashing neon sign, but I believe honesty is the best policy. I dont watn to alarm nor upset people-just want to show my character by action and honesty, compassion, and forebearance. anyway, thanks for the ideas

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:( It has been 14 months since I was released from prison: you can view my data -at- gadept of corr.com. Maybe being so blunt about my past is not the best manner of business, but it cuts to the chase-those who wish to judge me based on my demeanor and efforts may, while those cannot see beyond the circumstances will not waste either their time nor mine.

I am at an impasse: After being released, it took me 3 months to find employment, and that only because it is a company who had previously employed me, and they know my character. The job is 54 miles from my house. Because of the travel time, and the stress factor of the job (dispatcher at a cab company), I am mentally and emotionally drained. I cannot meet ladies because of the obvious, and I cannot subscribe to internet dating services because of the no criminal background-no sex offender registry requirements they all have.

Please dont consider that I am whining-I got myself into this mess, and I am trying to get beyond it: the past being constantly thrown in my face doesn't help.

Because I saw so many people in prison that were given severe sentences, while others committing similar or worse crimes had an "easy walk", I promised those who are treated unfairly that I would help when I was released, but I have been unable to find any avenue in which their problems and injustices to them could be addressed: I dont advocate the wholesale release or mainstream reentry of all those serving time, but I hope to find a means in which I can help those who face the same roadblocks I do. It is daunting-I wake up every morning and wonder if this life is worth facing the brick walls that come constantly before me.

I would like to find or start a database of employers that will hire ex-offenders, based upon their conduct in prison, and likelyhood of successful reintegration into society and the workforce. I would also like to find or start an avenue by which those who show ability and determination to succeed, a way to finance businesses. Also, I would like to find or start a database of singles who would give ex-offenders a chance socially, or romantically-given the caveat that they must undergo strict supervision or oversight to ensure the safety of all participants: any ideas anyone?

Lightfoot, i read your introduction with interest. It does indeed seem your having a hard time.

A suggestion, however. If the info I received on your conviction, and the nature of the conviction is true, may I kindly suggest that you perhaps concentrate less on romantic activities with the ladies? I read it, and if indeed this is you, it says you were convicted for rape. It would seem to me that before any female would enter a romantic relationship with you, that you might have some work to do on yourself.

Please forgive me if the person I looked at on the aforementioned corrections site wasn't you. However, it seems to me that unless you have spent sufficient time in figuring out the reason you raped the person you did, that you would do yourself a grave disservice in getting into a relationship. Rape, as I am sure you know, is an act of rage and often hatred for a specific female, or many times, towards woman in general.

Your the only one that knows if this is your first victim or your 110th victim. Statistically speaking, sexual offenders often have multiple offenses before they are found and incarcerated for it. Again, I would not suggest this is true of you, however. Only you know, in your own heart and soul if this is so. However, if it is indeed factual, (AGAIN, I **don't** know, this is just **statistically true many times***), it might be an act of wisdom for you to explore the roots of your aggression towards the particular female you assaulted (assuming it WAS a female; hey it happens to guys too!). I would strongly suggest that you acquire the aide of a qualified therapist and honestly explore the emotions and your past that led you to this path.

As for people getting light sentences...Again, taking in consideration that many offenders (and not just sex offenders), often commit a series of crimes and have multiple victims, more often then not they don't receive HALF of what they have coming. It seems to me that if everyone in prison caught a case for each and every crime they had done, in many cases we would have individuals finding themselves locked on Death Row waiting for an appointment with lethal injection. In light of that fact, and in light of the fact that your fellow cellies and inmates would often be looking at NEVER being paroled or being executed, I think LOTS of you got off easy.

While you say that you accept your part in this, I sense that your victim empathy is very low. i appreciate the harm that this has done to you, and how many people will not give you a chance to prove yourself. However, in your message I did not hear once any statement that led me to believe that you understand the fear, anger, guilt, confusion and shame your victim must live with. I am sure you received therapy in prison, and as you know, lack of victim empathy can lead to thinking errors that will make it easier for you to once again begin on the offense cycle. As a suggestion, while being honest with yourself about the stress and damage this has done to you, it might be fruitful for you to briefly meditate on the lifetime of fear, shame, guilt, anger and confusion your victim must live with for the rest of their life.

I say this not to increase your own shame, for shame never changes a person. I say this so you do not delude yourself into false guilt, where you believe this was a "terrible mistake". It was no mistake, Tommy. Honest guilt means you accept the consequences, not just of incarceration, but the damage you have done to your victim, and the multiple secondary victims such as her or his family, friends and loved ones.

I hope that The Force gives you strength, and is with you. I hope sincerely I did not offend you, but I would be less then honest or helpful if I let you delude yourself or pass over the fact that if rape is indeed your crime, that you have serious rage and aggression issues towards that woman (assuming it was a female), and perhaps women in general. Please, please Tommy, get the therapy you need so you can heal and you can give your victim the only gift you can possibly offer her or him now: NO MORE VICTIMS! EVER!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can see why you wonder about my statements, conviction, etc. I was convicted of aggravated assault with intent to rape. I sent robin69 ( I think that is his username) the story, because he asked for the info. you may read the email I sent him, if he doesnt care. basically, I took a lady home from Buckhead ( I was a taxi driver ), she asked me to take her to a motel, after hunting her house 1 and 1/2 hrs, she didnt have id-got room in my name-sleptabout 5 hrs, woke up, she seemed ok, coherent, etc., we had sex, slept until checkout time, I took her home, several days later police asked me to come by and talk with them, was subsequently arrested:turns out she says she didnt remember anything at all from that night. I wont get into your assertions that sex offenders and inmates in general typically deserve their sentences. I just layed out the jist of the situation-dont mean to be harsh, but if you believe I am a repeat offender, there is no sense in either of us wasting each others' time. Also, you have a naivete concerning prisons, prisoners, and justice: 1 glaring for instance- my roommate was convicted as an adult when he was 12 years old,for rape and murder, EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE WITNESSES THAT HE WAS GIVEN A DRUGGED DRINK BY ADULTS, AND HAS NO MEMORY OF THE EVENTS. This is a matter of public record.Yet, he is serving a life sentence. He self educated while in prison, and is now the Islamic Imam at Wilcox State Prison.

The prison administrations and justice system are as criminal and corrupt as those they keep imprisoned. The capt -at- wilcox told me he would lie in a minute if it served his purposes. a deputy warden was sent elsewhere while I was there because he was involved with drug trafficing.

The prison system is the 3rd largest industry in Ga. 1 in every 7 people either are in prison, have been in prison, or have family that has been in prison in Ga.

My lawyer (corrupt self-serving public defender that she is) told me that if my case had been in Atlanta, it would never have been tried. She wouldn't change venue,even though I requested due to prejudice against me in the locality. Well, I didnt mean to get on a tear, but you brought up some issues that show you-and the public at large, to be distressingly naive and uneducated concerning prison, prisoners, and how the justice system works. Sorry if I offend you, but these are not just my feelings and statements. go to schr (southern center for human rights, and read their website items). anyway, I want to make friends, not be antagonistic, so hope you receive this in the intended spirit: I have done soul-searching, and dont deny culpability. If I had conducted myself professionally, my situation would not have occurred. One of the most haunting experiences of my life is for the lady to have said in court (paraphrasing), "he made himself out to be a good samaritan, and he took advantage of me." to hear her emotional testimony, and to know that I caused her pain is something that I will have to bear forever. I can only hope and pray that she has been able to get on with her life, and gotten by it.

As for the romantic situation, I guess I was feeling a little blue and lonely. It has been over a year since being released, and 6 years since having a meaningful relationship. By meaningful relationship, I am talking about companionship, friendship, and, yes, someday hopefully, a love interest. I am in a therapy group, although I have no inclination to harm anyone: So, if you are inclined to judge, please think and know the real facts before doing so. I cant make people like or accept me. Everyone has to decide for himself what he or she believes and the credo they live by. I hope I am big enough to be accepting, compassionate, forgiving, and tolerant, as well as non judgemental of others until I know the whole story. peace, lightfoot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

news flash here buddy.

you can get put on the sex offenders list for something as stupid as wagging your wennie in public.and in michigan,that's just what would happen. :wacko:

i am not in a position to offer you a job,or for that matter,any other type of support.aside from the fact we are in 2 different states,i have very few resources for my area in the case of employment.

to not waste anymore time,i read your posts and found them to be well written.i can only wish you the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are probably some inmate advocacy groups out in your area already. Look them up and see what they have in place and if you could get them to help you organize a list for recently released inmates. You can't do it on your own especially if you are unsure of where to start and what the legal confines are.

http://definitions.uslegal.com/a/aggravated-assault/ This is the part of the conviction I am unsure of. Do you think you could copy, paste, and PM me the details you sent Robin? I tried looking up the transcripts of the case but of course you have to pay...oy....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

pretty much encapsulated the whole ordeal in last nights (actually early this morning's post)

there is a lot more to transcripts, of course, but nothing substantative: The lady's family, and friends were there, her mother made court statement, she made statement, etc. I dont have any recriminations to hurl at any of them or anyone else-they didn't ask for situation to develop, nor did lady involved. I can only hope the best for them: if somehow, someday I were to come into a disgustingly large sum of money, I would ananymously pay for all exspenses they incurred resulting from ordeal, including any therapy, etc, any of them may have had to get. Anyway, no ill wishes toward them or police-they were doing their jobs- or anyone else. thanks for concern and suggestions peace, lightfoot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pretty much encapsulated the whole ordeal in last nights (actually early this morning's post)

there is a lot more to transcripts, of course, but nothing substantative: The lady's family, and friends were there, her mother made court statement, she made statement, etc. I dont have any recriminations to hurl at any of them or anyone else-they didn't ask for situation to develop, nor did lady involved. I can only hope the best for them: if somehow, someday I were to come into a disgustingly large sum of money, I would ananymously pay for all exspenses they incurred resulting from ordeal, including any therapy, etc, any of them may have had to get. Anyway, no ill wishes toward them or police-they were doing their jobs- or anyone else. thanks for concern and suggestions peace, lightfoot

Lightfoot, your work is cut out for you. Its not going to be easy, but you CAN put your life back together. There are people here who will try to help you, but the "heavy lifting" is going to be up to you.

Brightest Blessings

Hex

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:umbrella:

I appreciate the help and dialog-just weathering the storm until I can regroup: I understand that it is I who has to turn the corner and be patient until it starts coming back together-support group is enlarging, and that is important-and thanks to you and others in this forum and ULC who are supportive, and who honestly tell me your thoughts, whether it is what I want to hear, or whether it is something I have to digest-and that is important, also. taking the journey: hope I can be of service and help others along the way-for that is the essence of a meaningful life-to make a positive impact and help others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:umbrella:

I appreciate the help and dialog-just weathering the storm until I can regroup: I understand that it is I who has to turn the corner and be patient until it starts coming back together-support group is enlarging, and that is important-and thanks to you and others in this forum and ULC who are supportive, and who honestly tell me your thoughts, whether it is what I want to hear, or whether it is something I have to digest-and that is important, also. taking the journey: hope I can be of service and help others along the way-for that is the essence of a meaningful life-to make a positive impact and help others.

I know the time factor sucks but you gotta think of it like networking for a corporate job, it's long and tedious but worth it in the end....Good Luck dude!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that what Lightfoot has said illustrates an important fact about Western culture in general: if you do something wrong, you'll pay for it even after you have completed your sentence. It is not fair, however it is also the case of some ex-criminals who go back to their criminal ways causing others to be viewed as bad too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think that what Lightfoot has said illustrates an important fact about Western culture in general: if you do something wrong, you'll pay for it even after you have completed your sentence. It is not fair, however it is also the case of some ex-criminals who go back to their criminal ways causing others to be viewed as bad too.

I think it's more broad than that. He shows a great fact but I see it as the world has the habit of noticing behaviors of one and classifying it into a group of people. It's not right but that's the way it goes....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I think that what Lightfoot has said illustrates an important fact about Western culture in general: if you do something wrong, you'll pay for it even after you have completed your sentence. It is not fair, however it is also the case of some ex-criminals who go back to their criminal ways causing others to be viewed as bad too.

I cannot help you, Lightfoot, as far as locating work goes but I do have quite the opinion on this subject matter...

First, if you think about, maybe the reason they go back to their "old" ways is exactly for that reason; society doesn't give them a chance at redemption. Some of these people are thrown to the streets with nothing more than the clothes they went in with. Many without family or friends to help get them back on their feet. Where are these people supposed to go and do in order to survive? Many of them are willing to do more crimes for the simple fact getting to be able to do the time. Time behind bars for some of these people means a shower, three meals a day, and protection from the outside elements because it's nearly impossible for them to go back and be a productive citizens especially in these trying economic times. it's true that there are shelters and outside sources of help, but they are few and far between and I bet if you ask, the majority of people in prison or have just gotten released don't even know that either these places exist or where they are located or even have a means of transporting themselves there.

I have never been to prison, but I have seen how the system works due to having a few "black sheep" in the family and I can tell you right now, from what I have seen, the ones that truly deserve their sentence usually get slaps on the wrist while others going in for minor offenses end up spending more time behind bars than the hardcore offenders. I too live in GA and I honestly have to say that GA has one the most, if not the absolute most corrupt judicial branch in the states.

Lightfoot, I applaud you for being so brave and releasing so much of your personal information to us, I know it had to be hard. It does seem, however, that outside of just finances and finding love you may need to take the time to find yourself again. The way that you conduct yourself with written words and your ideals and your moral (based on just from what I've read of course) shows to me that you are very intelligent and God has given you the gift of word, you should search more into that gift and do something with it. Perhaps you could write a book about yourself while at the same time rediscovering yourself outside of bars and shackles. I'm sure that while in prison you have a fair amount of time to read and study so maybe your story could be a positive influence for others in prison that are in similar circumstances. Whatever you decide to do with your gift (if anything at all) is completely up to you of course and I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Blessings to All,

Br. Arnold

Edited by BroArnold

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

;)

thank you all for your responses-not only those that are supportive outright, but also those that have caused me to back up and take stock. life is an ongoing learning experience, and I am finding the resolve and ambition to actually live instead of exist. the sharing is for many reasons: foremost, I cannot expect you to care or even listen if I am not forthcoming about myself: I chose to post on this website, so only rightly do you expect to know who it is posting.

I only looked today in this forum to see the many responses to "forever..." and not just be aware of the personal replies- duh! I am amazed at the diversity, tolerance, and warmth of the many contributors to the various topics and forums. we truly are a far reaching and encompassing group, regardless of our varied backgrounds and beliefs.

hope I have not made my situation sound more bleak than it really is: to be sure, it is an uphill, and sometimes daunting struggle: however, I am in better shape than many who have not had my mistakes to overcome-ie those who overcome backgrounds and situations they have had no control over: I give thanks for the network of support I do have, and am committed to ease pain and suffering whenever and however I can

peace, tj

Edited by lightfoot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
;)

thank you all for your responses-not only those that are supportive outright, but also those that have caused me to back up and take stock. life is an ongoing learning experience, and I am finding the resolve and ambition to actually live instead of exist. the sharing is for many reasons: foremost, I cannot expect you to care or even listen if I am not forthcoming about myself: I chose to post on this website, so only rightly do you expect to know who it is posting.

I only looked today in this forum to see the many responses to "forever..." and not just be aware of the personal replies- duh! I am amazed at the diversity, tolerance, and warmth of the many contributors to the various topics and forums. we truly are a far reaching and encompassing group, regardless of our varied backgrounds and beliefs.

hope I have not made my situation sound more bleak than it really is: to be sure, it is an uphill, and sometimes daunting struggle: however, I am in better shape than many who have not had my mistakes to overcome-ie those who overcome backgrounds and situations they have had no control over: I give thanks for the network of support I do have, and am committed to ease pain and suffering whenever and however I can

peace, tj

That is an excellent way of looking at things! Life is an uphill struggle for all of us, but as we climb further up we are simply that much closer to the top which is much better than being back at the bottom just looking up, lol. I am glad that you're doing something and are able to help others when needed. I, along with others I'm sure, would love to know how things turn out for you so please keep us posted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I cannot help you, Lightfoot, as far as locating work goes but I do have quite the opinion on this subject matter...

First, if you think about, maybe the reason they go back to their "old" ways is exactly for that reason; society doesn't give them a chance at redemption. Some of these people are thrown to the streets with nothing more than the clothes they went in with. Many without family or friends to help get them back on their feet. Where are these people supposed to go and do in order to survive? Many of them are willing to do more crimes for the simple fact getting to be able to do the time. Time behind bars for some of these people means a shower, three meals a day, and protection from the outside elements because it's nearly impossible for them to go back and be a productive citizens especially in these trying economic times. it's true that there are shelters and outside sources of help, but they are few and far between and I bet if you ask, the majority of people in prison or have just gotten released don't even know that either these places exist or where they are located or even have a means of transporting themselves there.

I have never been to prison, but I have seen how the system works due to having a few "black sheep" in the family and I can tell you right now, from what I have seen, the ones that truly deserve their sentence usually get slaps on the wrist while others going in for minor offenses end up spending more time behind bars than the hardcore offenders. I too live in GA and I honestly have to say that GA has one the most, if not the absolute most corrupt judicial branch in the states.

Lightfoot, I applaud you for being so brave and releasing so much of your personal information to us, I know it had to be hard. It does seem, however, that outside of just finances and finding love you may need to take the time to find yourself again. The way that you conduct yourself with written words and your ideals and your moral (based on just from what I've read of course) shows to me that you are very intelligent and God has given you the gift of word, you should search more into that gift and do something with it. Perhaps you could write a book about yourself while at the same time rediscovering yourself outside of bars and shackles. I'm sure that while in prison you have a fair amount of time to read and study so maybe your story could be a positive influence for others in prison that are in similar circumstances. Whatever you decide to do with your gift (if anything at all) is completely up to you of course and I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Blessings to All,

Br. Arnold

The statement I made bold is so true. Several years ago the company I was working for hired a man. His job was basically to help me. I was pregnant with my daughter at the time and I could not lift heavy boxes. (My job was to fill shampoo, his to box and ship) The man was an ex-con. And at least once per week he would complain about working, paying bills, etc. Basically if it included being responsible he hated it. Eventually he even admitted he wanted to go back to prison and eventually thats what happened. He raped a 5 yr old girl.

The fact of the matter is many people get into a situation that becomes comfortable. And instead of moving out of their comfort zone they just do with their accustomed to do. Not much will change their life when they have that mentality. Only they can change it.

Edited by SalemWitchChild

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this