Making life better

[mererdog]

Patience and forgiveness are big ones for me.

It is difficult, but I have learned to reign in my anger and remind myself of what I really want when I get hurt. Rather than escalating conflict, I work to resolve it. Rather than trying to make the other guy lose the fight, I try to figure out how we can both win. Every day is a new opportunity to fail at this, but I am improving.

Meanwhile, I try to give myself things to look forward to. I'm going to the Grand Canyon for the first time tomorrow. Next weekend, my great-nephews-in-law are coming to visit for the first time. On a daily basis, I go for small things like trying a new candy, going for a walk in a new neighborhood, or watching the next episode of a good show. The thought that something better is around the corner makes the rough patches seem smaller.

And there is my wife. No words can do justice to how good she is for me. She makes me better. 

Edited March 2, 2018 by mererdog

[VonNoble]

50 minutes ago, mererdog said:

Patience and forgiveness are big ones for me.

It is difficult, but I have learned to reign in my anger and remind myself of what I really want when I get hurt. Rather than escalating conflict, I work to resolve it. Rather than trying to make the other guy lose the fight, I try to figure out how we can both win. Every day is a new opportunity to fail at this, but I am improving.

Meanwhile, I try to give myself things to look forward to. I'm going to the Grand Canyon for the first time tomorrow. Next weekend, my great-nephews-in-law are coming to visit for the first time. On a daily basis, I go for small things like trying a new candy, going for a walk in a new neighborhood, or watching the next episode of a good show. The thought that something better is around the corner makes the rough patches seem smaller.

And there is my wife. No words can do justice to how good she is for me. She makes me better. 

YES!!!!  This is what I was hoping for - some every day ways to touch base with a sense of progress.....small steps to affirm the journey....or validate the effort.....or provide an option better than the one currently deemed as not the best one......a better one....a small (so small) but big enough  to keep going - try one more time etc.

 

Bravo!   

 

Bravo!

 

Thank you

 

von

[VonNoble]

9 hours ago, mererdog said:

Patience and forgiveness are big ones for me.

It is difficult, but I have learned to reign in my anger and remind myself of what I really want when I get hurt. Rather than escalating conflict, I work to resolve it. Rather than trying to make the other guy lose the fight, I try to figure out how we can both win. Every day is a new opportunity to fail at this, but I am improving.

Meanwhile, I try to give myself things to look forward to. I'm going to the Grand Canyon for the first time tomorrow. Next weekend, my great-nephews-in-law are coming to visit for the first time. On a daily basis, I go for small things like trying a new candy, going for a walk in a new neighborhood, or watching the next episode of a good show. The thought that something better is around the corner makes the rough patches seem smaller.

And there is my wife. No words can do justice to how good she is for me. She makes me better. 

I don’t know if you will see this before the trip .... but safe journey for your travels.

 

Yellowstone is still on my bucket list...

I am happy you are getting to see it - I imagine it is a day by day inspiration.   ENJOY!

 

von

[mererdog]

6 minutes ago, VonNoble said:

I don’t know if you will see this before the trip .... but safe journey for your travels.

 

Yellowstone is still on my bucket list...

I am happy you are getting to see it - I imagine it is a day by day inspiration.   ENJOY!

 

von

Thanks. I'm just waiting for my wife to finish packing. Hope you enjoy your day just as much.

[Dan56]

On 3/2/2018 at 5:38 AM, VonNoble said:

 

Dan 56...

 

what are we doing to stay stuck in “unhappy? “   If we have  what we need... why do we so often want more?     

 

if we  know something is not good for us -why do we chase after it?

 

The devil has a name.    Naming it is a first step to slaying it.   Maybe? Each sin has a name.    The obstacle in our path has a time, place, trigger.... shape..... ignoring it perpetuates it maybe?   

 

Is it as simple as one tiny step?

 

At some point for you ....it was accepting Christ fully.   Is that still the complete and only answer or have you gained other insights to add to that?  

 

Is there today a practical one step to face one specific challenge? Not a generality but a specific thing that can help another slay a dragon?

 

Drinking too much.... procrastinating too often.... whatever .... everyone is swimming toward happier... what is working?  What are you doing or what do you refrain from doing?

 

 

I'm persuaded that happiness is as much a state of mind as it is a condition.. If your a sad, depressed, and miserable person when your poor, and then you come into a lot of money,  your still going to be a sad and depressed person,  you just won't be miserable anymore.

 

The root cause of nearly every problem I've encountered in my life can be found in the nearest mirror. We can't appreciate good without bad, health without sickness, joy without sadness, etc.  But for me, this  yin and yang only applies to the natural world.

 

When the apostles were thrown in prison, they sang songs in praise of the Lord (Acts 16:25). This inspires an attitude adjustment in me, because I'd be drowning in self-pity and praying to get out of jail.  Paul counted it a blessing to suffer loss in exchange for knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24). For me, the cares of this short life are just a temporary test towards something far better. 

 

That said, each life has its own trials and errors, some learn from their mistakes and makes changes for the better, while others never quite conquer much. I'm inspired by those doing better than myself and try to emulate their example. But while I can be happy, I'll never be content with this life, because I don't believe any of us were meant to be satisfied,  we are spiritual beings stuck in corporal bodies. Perhaps Solomon said it best; "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity" (Ecclesiastics 1:1).

"I Have Not Failed. I Have Just Found 10,000 Things That Do Not Work."  ~Thomas Edison

"Success Comes Through Rapidly Fixing our Mistakes Rather than Getting Things Right the First Time"
 

 

 

 

[Dan56]

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Happiness?  That's nothing more than health and a poor memory.  ~Albert Schweitzer

As people spin faster and faster in the pursuit of personal happiness, they become exhausted in the futile effort of chasing themselves. 

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance.
 

[Key]

It has been said by someone a long time ago, but I don't remember who, "if you can't find happiness in the little things, you will always find misery in the big things."

Now, I'm not too sure about the misery with big things part, but I do find that things are bearable when you can find something to make you smile or smirk just a little bit. Maybe that is a small murmur of contentment, or promise of not everything seeming bleak?

In any case, to me, it seems easier to obtain happiness or contentment with someone, rather than alone.

[cuchulain]

On ‎2‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 6:33 PM, VonNoble said:

Contentment might be as elusive as wealth.

 

Is there something specific you can do (or stop doing ) to make your life more balanced or contented?

 

Whatever it is...can you name it?   ...does the obstacle preventing you or blocking you....does the pause button ....have a name?

 

(funds....wealth....too much ambition...to little....low self esteem....over confidence)

 

i am am wondering if there is are one or two roadblocks many of us have in common?   Just a curiosity question 

 

von

you aren't trying to, you know...make philosophy, um...practical, right?

[VonNoble]

On 3/4/2018 at 12:50 AM, Dan56 said:

 

I'm persuaded that happiness is as much a state of mind as it is a condition.. If your a sad, depressed, and miserable person when your poor, and then you come into a lot of money,  your still going to be a sad and depressed person,  you just won't be miserable anymore.

 

The root cause of nearly every problem I've encountered in my life can be found in the nearest mirror. We can't appreciate good without bad, health without sickness, joy without sadness, etc.  But for me, this  yin and yang only applies to the natural world.

 

That said, each life has its own trials and errors, some learn from their mistakes and makes changes for the better, while others never quite conquer much. 

Thank you Dan56..... certainly much truth in all of that.

 

von

[VonNoble]

On 3/4/2018 at 12:50 AM, Dan56 said:

When the apostles were thrown in prison, they sang songs in praise of the Lord (Acts 16:25). This inspires an attitude adjustment in me, because I'd be drowning in self-pity and praying to get out of jail.  Paul counted it a blessing to suffer loss in exchange for knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24). For me, the cares of this short life are just a temporary test towards something far better. 

I have wtnessed prisoners doing “hard time” do the same .... pulling resiliency in spite of hardship.... (aside they did not have the added benefit of belief in any religion).... but your point is well made.... some do pull it up from inside themselves 

 

von

[VonNoble]

5 hours ago, Key said:

I do find that things are bearable when you can find something to make you smile or smirk just a little bit. Maybe that is a small murmur of contentment, or promise of not everything seeming bleak?

In any case, to me, it seems easier to obtain happiness or contentment with someone, rather than alone.

I believe you are correct on both counts.

thanks....von

[VonNoble]

3 hours ago, cuchulain said:

you aren't trying to, you know...make philosophy, um...practical, right?

Ha!    No.  But you gave me a chuckle

 

there are are days I find myself less resilient ....and I just trying to see if others have ideas to refresh my own zest 

von

PS...I am finding as my score improves in Philosophy I am not gaining more enjoyment which seems odd to me... so nope... not having too many meanings beyond classwork in that direction. 

von

[cuchulain]

14 hours ago, VonNoble said:

Ha!    No.  But you gave me a chuckle

 

there are are days I find myself less resilient ....and I just trying to see if others have ideas to refresh my own zest 

von

PS...I am finding as my score improves in Philosophy I am not gaining more enjoyment which seems odd to me... so nope... not having too many meanings beyond classwork in that direction. 

von

It was meant for a chuckle.  Sometimes we just need to take ourselves less seriously.  I had a world religion teacher who insisted that any religion you can't laugh with should be done away with.  I tend to think the same thing in philosophy