santana Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youch Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just amA person is as bad as their actions.The perception of a person being bad is a reflection of the filters and biases of those making the judgements.If your siblings and their mates think you are bad, and your actions have not been, then I would move on and away from such dysfunction.If, upon deep reflection, you realize you have been bad, then perhaps you should/could make ammends.In the end, in familial situations, being bad is often relative and emotional and a result of a lack of clear communication. THIS, is likely the real issue.Good luck,Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Harry Carlson Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just amA person is as bad as their actions.The perception of a person being bad is a reflection of the filters and biases of those making the judgements.If your siblings and their mates think you are bad, and your actions have not been, then I would move on and away from such dysfunction.If, upon deep reflection, you realize you have been bad, then perhaps you should/could make ammends.In the end, in familial situations, being bad is often relative and emotional and a result of a lack of clear communication. THIS, is likely the real issue.Good luck,MikeHello Santana,It's been a while since we chatted.Hooka and I disagree more often than we agree. In this case, I completely agree with my frequent debating opponent Hooka.Why are these people telling you you are "bad?" Is that exactly what they said? Did they all say it at the same time? How do you react when you get these negative messages?In any event, if you want any peace at all in your life, you are going to have to remove yourself from exposure to these destructive messages, probably by removing yourseelf from exposure to these people. Maybe you need to find more positve people to associate with. And as Hooka suggests, reflect on our own life and make corrections as you see fit.Please do not pass on the bad Karma or pass it back to them. The only way to stop destructive emotions is with you. When someone dumps bad emotions on you, you have to work at not letting them continue on from you to the next person. And as Hooka said, Good Luck. We are rooting for you.Carl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just amYou wouldn't believe how bad I've been told I've been.... seemed pretty good to me at the time tho.... Certain folks around feel I'm sooo terribly bad as to warrant Hell and Eternal Punishment....But between you and I: .... they were simply upset that I didn't support their OWN particular idea of Bad or Good.....I do say a prayer that Our Father will help them with their Judgement issues.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan56 Posted March 10, 2011 Report Share Posted March 10, 2011 I'd ask the people who are saying that your a bad person to give you some specific reasons of why they're claiming that your bad... If they can't give you any specific examples of bad things you've done, then I'd ignore their opinion.Don't let others define your character, their motivation may not have anything to do you. Sometimes people manipulate the conscience of others through criticism, but its to promote their own self-interest. Its the "poor me" attitude, their life isn't perfect and they want you to think that your a bad person for not helping them. Remember, Jesus was nailed to a cross because others didn't appreciate him, but that doesn't mean he was a bad person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santana Posted March 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 well my sister told me I was abad person and her husband because her husband wanted to own my business and tried to cause my husband and I to divorce so he could accompllish this, and I put my foot down and let him go over it.my older brother hates me from wayyyy back , because my dad used to get drunk and beat on him instead of me because I hid all the time , and that has just escalated into adulthood where he will try to destroy relationships , friendships etc of mine because of jealousy . so I refused to continue footing the bill for him after he threatend to kill me and my family yesterday my little brother got mad at me and said I was a bad person because I wouldnt loan him money I just went and bought what he needed My family is very dysfuntional and most of them are out for what they can get , so I am just really guarded , I help people all the time , if I had a bigger house I would probably bring every stray animal I found home with me , my mom says I have bleeding heart syndrome ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverRose Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just amif the stuff u posted here and awhile back is any indication of the situation u are dealing with, "you're a bad person!" can more accurately translate to "because you won't give us what we want, won't do what we want, etc. etc." in other words, you're dealing with selfish, self-centered morons who are doing nothing more than using a form of temper-tantrum because they're not getting their own way. please don't buy into it- u can drive yourself batty if u accept the blame for someone else's behavior & lousy attitude.and, if your mother is tagging u with a 'syndrome' over this, it sounds like she's as wacko as the others. (no offense intended) Edited March 11, 2011 by SilverRose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 In the long run it is no favor to coddle those who will take no responsibility for themselves...By all means help if it is appropriate - smile and say " I'm sorry, I wish I could help.." when it is not...put some of that Big Heart to work on yourself... give yourself a break and only own what's yours...ask yourself if they will be there to help when they've bled you dry.... will they buy groceries for your children?No, guilt is not the right response for you right now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormson Posted March 11, 2011 Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) A person is as bad as their actions.The perception of a person being bad is a reflection of the filters and biases of those making the judgements.If your siblings and their mates think you are bad, and your actions have not been, then I would move on and away from such dysfunction.If, upon deep reflection, you realize you have been bad, then perhaps you should/could make ammends.In the end, in familial situations, being bad is often relative and emotional and a result of a lack of clear communication. THIS, is likely the real issue.Good luck,MikeGotta agree with Mike here... MOST times in fact being "bad" boils down to you didnt do or say what others WANTED you to do or to hear.That being the case... I am probably considered to be the most dreadful figure of the 21st century... So dont sweat it too much! But yes, of course, when these accusations begin to fly one should always take a step back and ponder if they DO have any merit... And if so, this opens the door to creating a better version of ourselves. I would do so with an understanding of the above though, as "bad" really is between you, your conscience and your God(ess), and far too many times in life the word is used in an attempt to force one away from that relationship, and into situations more amiable to the one making the accusation... NOT a good place to be.The Gov. and its corporate masters use this technique in EVERY aspect of our daily lives, through the propaganda machine, to keep us enslaved to a failed system. If you attempt to seek the truth behind it all you are labeled crazy (bad), stupid (bad) or even terroristic (bad)... We are ASSAILED by this sort of tripe at every turn. Do you REALLY need it in your personal life as wel? Edited March 11, 2011 by Stormson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) well my sister told me I was abad person and her husband because her husband wanted to own my business and tried to cause my husband and I to divorce so he could accompllish this, and I put my foot down and let him go over it.my older brother hates me from wayyyy back , because my dad used to get drunk and beat on him instead of me because I hid all the time , and that has just escalated into adulthood where he will try to destroy relationships , friendships etc of mine because of jealousy . so I refused to continue footing the bill for him after he threatend to kill me and my family yesterday my little brother got mad at me and said I was a bad person because I wouldnt loan him money I just went and bought what he needed~ Sweetling, that is all their crap. You see this. You know this. Stay away from this.You are strong enough to weather this & be calm Edited March 13, 2011 by Qryos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santana Posted March 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 you always make me smile thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santana Posted March 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 it was brought to my attention that I just posted here for attention . let me re-affirm that was indeed not my intention , I posted to get out side opinion of my sistuation because I am/was standing to close to see.I do not want nor need people to feel sorry for me , nor do I need personal messages verbally bashing me . I thank everyone who has given me positive advice and I consider some of you very good friends that I listen to and take the advice away with me . so If you do send me a personal message and I dont respond right away its because I am not online more than an hour a day I have a 24 hour7 day a week business 2 children and 8 employees and am at current trying to rehab my house due to old earthquake damage. it isnt because I want people to feel sorry for me and I resent the person who sent that . thank you for all the help ill try not to post anything anymore -santana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyper Real Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 so all 3 siblings informed me I am a bad person , and my siblings significant others . I am really feeling disconnected and as much as i have helped these people i keep getting told i am an awful person ..maybe I just amEverybody is a bad person, think about it who is really good? Watch those who want to appear good all the time!Filthy rags wrapped in smooth silk does not prevent the stench to come through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 it was brought to my attention that I just posted here for attention . let me re-affirm that was indeed not my intention , I posted to get out side opinion of my sistuation because I am/was standing to close to see.I do not want nor need people to feel sorry for me , nor do I need personal messages verbally bashing me . I thank everyone who has given me positive advice and I consider some of you very good friends that I listen to and take the advice away with me . so If you do send me a personal message and I dont respond right away its because I am not online more than an hour a day I have a 24 hour7 day a week business 2 children and 8 employees and am at current trying to rehab my house due to old earthquake damage. it isnt because I want people to feel sorry for me and I resent the person who sent that . thank you for all the help ill try not to post anything anymore -santanaI missed this message and I most certainly DO NOT feel the same way as that individual... whoever it was....Keep us posted, friend of mine..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
santana Posted March 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 thank you to everyone who helped me really helped with their own expieriences and the fact that you all give great advice , that has really given me alot to think about and helped me do a complete 180 attitude wise , I don't talk to the people that tell me im bad anymore , it isn't worth my time , I am soley focusing on my kids, my husband , few good friends business , and well just breathing for once in 34 years .. so thank you again to everyone it has def been an eye opener Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atwater Vitki Posted April 16, 2011 Report Share Posted April 16, 2011 So glad to hear things worked out for you. Hang everyone else...sounded like self centered as Silver said!Keep up the good works for what matters to you...kids, hubby, business...and hang everyone else. When was the last time any of these clowns helped you???? And, yes, please keep us updated.Blessings of Peace, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youch Posted April 18, 2011 Report Share Posted April 18, 2011 thank you to everyone who helped me really helped with their own expieriences and the fact that you all give great advice , that has really given me alot to think about and helped me do a complete 180 attitude wise , I don't talk to the people that tell me im bad anymore , it isn't worth my time , I am soley focusing on my kids, my husband , few good friends business , and well just breathing for once in 34 years .. so thank you again to everyone it has def been an eye openerYour welcome, and Awesome!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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