Proud To Be A Pervert

[SilverRose]

Anyways, to make it simpler for those who just think of people such as myself as evil, depraved perverts, I will refer to my lifestyle as a sick perversion so those who prefer this point of view can feel sufficiently justified and righteous.

Anyways, the story of the depraved, perverted Lord Occult starts real early. You see, Lord Occultis was born on March 9th, 1973. He grew up in the typical white suburb, with the typical white fence, two brothers and a dog. Life was not easy for the fledgling pervert, because sadly God in His infinite wisdom decided to give Lord Occultis A.D.D, a bad disposition and a whole slew of emotional problems that led little Occultis to crack the normal, decent youth of his suburb in the head with his fists.

So while Lord Occultis was assaulting the decent, freshly scrubbed and superior normal people who properly refered to him as a retard for being in Special Ed, not including assaulting little Occultis's older brother who God blessed with Dyslexia, little Occultis was trying to make his way in life.

Anyways, to the not so salacious stuff (sorry, we don't let Jerry Springer use us for his freak show for you to righteously mock and laugh at us, sorry)..When little Occultis was reaching the age of, oh 4th grade, his strange and sickening perversion popped up. See, since we were all grouped together in Special Ed together, unfortunately some of the physically disabled students unfortunately were incontinent. Hence diapers. Hence the growth of the strange, disgusting and depraved perversion that I am writing about. Anyways, since I was prepubescent, I just ifgured in my infinite ignorance this strange interest was that, a strange interest.

Alas, Lord Occultis hit puberty (sorry, they don't sterilize us anymore or castrate us anymore, so yes, we are breeding, my apologies). Suddenly, his strange interest took on sexual and emotional aspects. Suddenly, in the full blossom of burgeoning hormones, our erstwhile youth suddenly started saving his lunch money for Depends. Alas, little Occultis's parents, who naturally wished to dissuade the pervert's interest, began their campaign of shame and punishment. Again, because he was an evil seed (one of the unwashed, unbaptized masses that are naturally Hellbound) this did not dissuade little Occultis.

Many psychiatrists later, still unable to root the perversion from the demented, depraved, sick, disgusting and amoral psyche of young Occultis, his parents decided to "ignore' it. Things became better when Occultis could flee the home of his parents and run into the loving arms of the Scarlet Lady of Mystery Babylon.

What, may you ask, has this to do with my title "Proud to be a Pervert". Thank you for asking, gentle readers.

I finally realized it was allright to be a pervert. When you strip away your social conventions and the fact that you have created a diety that is the simple apothosification of yourselves, in effect diefying yourselves, you realize that the Emperor wears no clothes. Indeed, for every upstanding citizen of the community, you usually find a hypocritical, self-rightous drone who hasn't the guts, fortitude or honesty to be anything other then a well trained drone. So yes, I am immensely proud to be a pervert, because otherwise I'd join the milling armies of faceless drones who are so brainwashed they don't even know their drones.

This is Lord Occultis and I endorse this message. Say no to conformity, or end up a mindless drone like the masses of drones that squirm like mindless, sightless maggots on this hypocritical continent we call the United States of America!

LO: here is a question for you... please think about it:

are you Happy? are you truly contented with yourself as you are and your life?

asking because the majority of your posts suggest that you're not

Edited November 30, 2008 by SilverRose

[Lord Occultis]

LO: here is a question for you... please think about it:

are you Happy? are you truly contented with yourself as you are and your life?

asking because the majority of your posts suggest that you're not

What is happiness, SilverRose? I just don't know what it is anymore. It has been a long time since I could say for sure I was happy. Since practically the moment i was self aware, it has been one uphill battle after another. Can I say I am miserable all the time? No. I can't say that I am miserable all the time. Like all of us, I have my moments when I experience what you might call happiness, and like most of us, it is fleeting.

I don't know SilverRose...what if you feel you have lost everything that ever mattered to you, maybe what you would call your soul. Is it possible to be truly happy? True, I remind myself there are so many other people that have had it much, much worse then me, but it is cold comfort. I'm not them, and there not me.

I don't know..I just don't know. What I want I can not have, because when you lose somethings, no matter how badly you want them back, they are impossible to regain. I would sell my soul to Satan himself (if he existed) if it were possible to regain it. Innocence lost is innocence never regained.

I didn't become a Sith because I don't care about people or that I am unfeeling. It was for these very reasons I did. This world is a messed up place, built on the suffering, pain, lostness and terror of others. How can you have a heart in a world without one? How can you not become numbed to it, if you want to survive?

My father, as you know, committed suicide. Even though I miss him, it made me realize something. as much as I miss him, I wouldn't change places with him. I've seen people I care about literally dying in front of my eyes, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Pain and suffering is life, I guess. Even your happiest moments are fleeting. A world built on injustice so deep and all pervasive, where nothing really changes, is a world you have to question if it is fit to live in. I can not change the world, SilverRose. If I could not save those I loved or rescue them from suffering, then I can not do anything for this world.

Where there is life, there is hope. Maybe miracles do exist, and someday one will happen to me. I don't know. I do know that I have no other choice but to continue to live, even if many times my heart isn't in it. I have a responsibility to those left behind, and even if from a personal perspective I would as much like not to exist at times, I can not let them down. Like many things, nobody consulted me on this. I have no choice but to continue, for there sake if not mine.

I'll tell you this, though. When it does come time me to take off this mortal coil, I won't look at it as a terrible thing. When a persons heart dies, the body sooner or later follows suit. My heart died a long time ago, and I have been willing to go for a long time. I have grieved the destruction of all that was good for a long time. If tears and sadness could make things right again, it would have been. Outside a miracle happening, I doubt what has lost can be restored to me.

I don't know what it is you value, or what is most important to you SilverRose. But whatever it is, if you irrevocably lose it or have lost it, you know that a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You may live for others, for the sake of friends, family or children, but that doesn't in the end fill the emptiness. All it does is give you a tenuous hold on this world, until all the links that hold you here are severed and your finally released to find eternal peace.

[Fawzo]

What is happiness, SilverRose? I just don't know what it is anymore. It has been a long time since I could say for sure I was happy. Since practically the moment i was self aware, it has been one uphill battle after another. Can I say I am miserable all the time? No. I can't say that I am miserable all the time. Like all of us, I have my moments when I experience what you might call happiness, and like most of us, it is fleeting.

I don't know SilverRose...what if you feel you have lost everything that ever mattered to you, maybe what you would call your soul. Is it possible to be truly happy? True, I remind myself there are so many other people that have had it much, much worse then me, but it is cold comfort. I'm not them, and there not me.

I don't know..I just don't know. What I want I can not have, because when you lose somethings, no matter how badly you want them back, they are impossible to regain. I would sell my soul to Satan himself (if he existed) if it were possible to regain it. Innocence lost is innocence never regained.

I didn't become a Sith because I don't care about people or that I am unfeeling. It was for these very reasons I did. This world is a messed up place, built on the suffering, pain, lostness and terror of others. How can you have a heart in a world without one? How can you not become numbed to it, if you want to survive?

My father, as you know, committed suicide. Even though I miss him, it made me realize something. as much as I miss him, I wouldn't change places with him. I've seen people I care about literally dying in front of my eyes, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Pain and suffering is life, I guess. Even your happiest moments are fleeting. A world built on injustice so deep and all pervasive, where nothing really changes, is a world you have to question if it is fit to live in. I can not change the world, SilverRose. If I could not save those I loved or rescue them from suffering, then I can not do anything for this world.

Where there is life, there is hope. Maybe miracles do exist, and someday one will happen to me. I don't know. I do know that I have no other choice but to continue to live, even if many times my heart isn't in it. I have a responsibility to those left behind, and even if from a personal perspective I would as much like not to exist at times, I can not let them down. Like many things, nobody consulted me on this. I have no choice but to continue, for there sake if not mine.

I'll tell you this, though. When it does come time me to take off this mortal coil, I won't look at it as a terrible thing. When a persons heart dies, the body sooner or later follows suit. My heart died a long time ago, and I have been willing to go for a long time. I have grieved the destruction of all that was good for a long time. If tears and sadness could make things right again, it would have been. Outside a miracle happening, I doubt what has lost can be restored to me.

I don't know what it is you value, or what is most important to you SilverRose. But whatever it is, if you irrevocably lose it or have lost it, you know that a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You may live for others, for the sake of friends, family or children, but that doesn't in the end fill the emptiness. All it does is give you a tenuous hold on this world, until all the links that hold you here are severed and your finally released to find eternal peace.

I've felt this same way many times, and realized that I had no goals. Setting goals helps one to break out of just surviving and helps one to start living. I'm not even talking about large goals but small things like maybe taking the family to Florida or California to really enjoy Disney World in two years.

Edited November 30, 2008 by Fawzo

[mark 45]

Mark, I did that for the sake of those who hold that view. I of course disagree. I am God's Chosen, since I was made in His image more then they. However, they choose to rebel against the Holy Infant, and unfortunately won't repent.

I am sure if you pray to the Divine Infant, he may be in a mood to have mercy on them and help them overcome their lifestyle and join God's Chosen People. I am praying for it, and eventually i plan to go door to door to save them from their sins.

you know better lo.i have no beliefs in any type of diety,and praying?i see that as a form of focused meditation.

I'm still thinking....."Crusty the Conservative Clown"...................you guessed it......Rev Snuffy the Hedgehog......................

ok cool,pulling something out of the boards"murky side".glad i hadn't ate yet.

[RobinD69]

What is happiness, SilverRose? I just don't know what it is anymore. It has been a long time since I could say for sure I was happy. Since practically the moment i was self aware, it has been one uphill battle after another. Can I say I am miserable all the time? No. I can't say that I am miserable all the time. Like all of us, I have my moments when I experience what you might call happiness, and like most of us, it is fleeting.

So you cannot hold onto a happy thought? Maybe you need to work with those who are in even more dire situations than yourself. I feel for you, I do not know all your details, and they are not my business, but I hope you can find something that trully makes you happy.

I don't know SilverRose...what if you feel you have lost everything that ever mattered to you, maybe what you would call your soul. Is it possible to be truly happy? True, I remind myself there are so many other people that have had it much, much worse then me, but it is cold comfort. I'm not them, and there not me.

Many of us have lost alot. I cannot say everything because in my situation I still have my wife and kids. But we have lost businesses, homes, vehicles, family members. I can understand that others have been thru worse, and that does give me comfort in the sence that I havent hit rock bottom. I look forward to leaving this world, but I want to stay with my wife and kids. I know that eternity will be better for me because of my beliefs, but I also know the pain it will cause back here for my family if I were to go.

I don't know..I just don't know. What I want I can not have, because when you lose somethings, no matter how badly you want them back, they are impossible to regain. I would sell my soul to Satan himself (if he existed) if it were possible to regain it. Innocence lost is innocence never regained.

But there is so much more out there that may be even better than what you lost or at least be a good substitute.

I didn't become a Sith because I don't care about people or that I am unfeeling. It was for these very reasons I did. This world is a messed up place, built on the suffering, pain, lostness and terror of others. How can you have a heart in a world without one? How can you not become numbed to it, if you want to survive?

I still believe you would be an ideal candidate for helping others in worse situations than yourself. To see love in even worse situations, to see hope and to find the true heart of this world that has been hidden by the world.

My father, as you know, committed suicide. Even though I miss him, it made me realize something. as much as I miss him, I wouldn't change places with him. I've seen people I care about literally dying in front of my eyes, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I lost my father to alcoholism at age 56. That same year we had 911, my grandfather died, I sold a failing business, and my wife got pregnant with our fourth child. The reality to me was that all things happen for a reason, I just could not find that reason, but I believe it was right in front of my face all along and I was feel sorry for myself rather than doing for others.

Pain and suffering is life, I guess. Even your happiest moments are fleeting. A world built on injustice so deep and all pervasive, where nothing really changes, is a world you have to question if it is fit to live in. I can not change the world, SilverRose. If I could not save those I loved or rescue them from suffering, then I can not do anything for this world.

But you can change the world, maybe not for the way you want it, but all it takes is one person to start a change. You are more powerful than you think, random acts of kindness may be fleeting but they do bring happiness to others as well as yourself.

Where there is life, there is hope. Maybe miracles do exist, and someday one will happen to me. I don't know. I do know that I have no other choice but to continue to live, even if many times my heart isn't in it. I have a responsibility to those left behind, and even if from a personal perspective I would as much like not to exist at times, I can not let them down. Like many things, nobody consulted me on this. I have no choice but to continue, for there sake if not mine.

Sounds like you do have someone who counts on you or who would be hurt by your loss. Maybe this should be more of your focus.

I'll tell you this, though. When it does come time me to take off this mortal coil, I won't look at it as a terrible thing. When a persons heart dies, the body sooner or later follows suit. My heart died a long time ago, and I have been willing to go for a long time. I have grieved the destruction of all that was good for a long time. If tears and sadness could make things right again, it would have been. Outside a miracle happening, I doubt what has lost can be restored to me.

If you are willing to share as you have, your heart still has a spark, you just need to find it and nurture it. I still believe you need to reach out to those less fortunate, it can be heartwarming and enlightening.

I don't know what it is you value, or what is most important to you SilverRose. But whatever it is, if you irrevocably lose it or have lost it, you know that a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You may live for others, for the sake of friends, family or children, but that doesn't in the end fill the emptiness. All it does is give you a tenuous hold on this world, until all the links that hold you here are severed and your finally released to find eternal peace.

I am sorry if I have imposed on your conversation, but by reading many of your posts I know there is much more to you and for you than you may believe at such a dire time. If you dont mind, I will keep you in my prayers.

[Youch]

I think it all lies in the eye of the beholder. I don't think you should be judged. Judgement is not anyone's place.

Humans have the natural ability to discern. To discern is to judge. To not judge is to deny natural ability, which is just as much the antithesis of basic survival instincts as adults wearing diapers.

[Bro. Hex]

If I could not save those I loved or rescue them from suffering, then I can not do anything for this world.

Fortunately L.O., this is not true. While it is terribly sad that you were unable to save the ones that you loved, you are still capable of doing much to help to "save" others. The opportunities are everywhere. You have to WANT to help others...others that you probably don't even know and may not care about. You are still able to let yourself care, which of course will mean that you may very likely "get hurt again"...that is the price of loving, the price of caring once again.

Where there is life, there is hope. Maybe miracles do exist, and someday one will happen to me. I don't know. I do know that I have no other choice but to continue to live, even if many times my heart isn't in it. I have a responsibility to those left behind, and even if from a personal perspective I would as much like not to exist at times, I can not let them down. Like many things, nobody consulted me on this. I have no choice but to continue, for there sake if not mine.

I can see a good deal of what we call "character" underneath all of your sadness. It is commendable to "keep on keepin' on" for others, when your heart is not in it. That is an heroic characteristic, and I expect that it will serve you well...in the long run.

My heart died a long time ago, and I have been willing to go for a long time. I have grieved the destruction of all that was good for a long time. If tears and sadness could make things right again, it would have been. Outside a miracle happening, I doubt what has lost can be restored to me.

Miracles happen...but they don't JUST happen. Somewhere along the way someone MAKES them happen. What you have lost will never "be restored" to you, because what you have lost is irreplaceable, is it not?

You can't recreate the past, but you can craft a future that is worth living...it requires "letting go" of the past.

I don't know what it is you value, or what is most important to you SilverRose. But whatever it is, if you irrevocably lose it or have lost it, you know that a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You may live for others, for the sake of friends, family or children, but that doesn't in the end fill the emptiness. All it does is give you a tenuous hold on this world

That "tenuous hold on the world" is your lifeline. You have to USE it to create a new "life worth living", and not knowing you, I have no idea what that will be...and most likely you don't have a clue either. Perhaps if you delve deeply into your past to recall "what sort of stuff used to make you happy", that will give you a clue. But, in any event, you have to work at forging a new purpose for living...living "for those that depend upon you" won't work forever. And besides, you really will be much happier living "for your own purpose" I wish you joy.

[Pegasuss]

LO,

it comes with time, time does heal all wounds, time is so dreadfully slow when it comes to love or as I surmise from your post, love lost.

One day it will sneak up on you and you'll notice that you're thinking of and planning something future tense and looking forward to it.

At fist thought you might feel that you're cheating yourself, your past, your pain, your hurt, but you'll also understand that you're changing

in a forward direction.

imho

I view it as a bridge and that would be the halfway point, the peak, from experience it's downhill from there and gets better as time

goes on. I'm not just posting here, I speak from experience. What I lost will be and can be never replaced, but has become part of

me and who I am. What my future holds no one knows but I'm ready willing and able to head down this new unknown and sometimes

scary path.

I wish you the best!

Pegasuss

[Lord Occultis]

Humans have the natural ability to discern. To discern is to judge. To not judge is to deny natural ability, which is just as much the antithesis of basic survival instincts as adults wearing diapers.

You're right. If I wasn't able to judge, I might actually be deceived by the propoganda of society and the lies they propagate. Luckily ,I am able to watch the parade of automatons and drones, and clearly discern that I would rather be half out of the bag then "normal" like them.

The funny thing is the drones and automatons aren't satisfied that you allow them to march around like wind-up toys or like people who had a labotomy, but they insist you do it too. I mean, far be it for me to stop you from drinking the poisoned Kool-Aide the cult of conformity and mind control you call a society insists you drink. Drink it by the gallons, if you wish.

But I'm not fooled. I know, mataphorically speaking where the bodies lare buried, and I happend to also know that in more cases then the automatons and drones would like to admit, their either doing something twice as "evil" or what not then I am. Therefore, I know the preachers railing about sin and the self rightouse Traditional Family Values Brigade are the worst offenders, usually the ones screwing prostitutes, watching hours of porn, drinking and beating their wife and kids and paying toothless crack whores to do unmentionable things so the Right Reverend can have a party in his pants (Can we forget Jerry "The Hutt" Fallwell and his famous line "Ahh haff sinnnnnnnnnnnned!" I wasn't suprised the gelatinous slab of useless flesh had..most "Right Reverends" are involved in "sin" up to their necks!).

The only difference is I don't lie, whereas the faceless armies of automatons and drones out there lie so much they wouldn't know the truth if it was a tractor trailer and hit them at 85 miles an hour.

No offense to any automatons or drones..Just go back to sleep and break your arm patting yourself on the back. I am sure that some day you might even convince yourselves of the ** you're trying to sell yourself. Just shove another Big Mac down your triple-chinned throat and anethstasize your brain with more Budwieser. Sooner or later that painful thing we call truth will eventually evaporate in a sea of alcohol and the self serving ** you call truth. Trust me.

Edited December 4, 2008 by Lord Occultis

[RobinD69]

LO, you seem to be equating the hypocrites with the true followers. A true follower of Christ will admitt that they sin because it is an excellent witness that we are not perfect only Christ is perfect. Attacking what you not understand or what you perceive as being presented falsely is giving into the world view or drinking the poisoned koolade as you so elequently shared. Facing the truth can open the door to a love most people do not even realize is out there. I wish you well and only ask that you not judge us all based on a few because none of us are perfect.

[Pegasuss]

God is going to look into your heart,

We will be judged not by the letter of the law but by the spirit of the law - our intent!

Note: From thread, (Replying to Just Another Opinion)

If a god does exist I believe this to be so.

Facing the truth can open the door to a love most people do not even realize is out there.

Truth comes in many colors, shapes and sizes.

Facing my truth of being homosexual and accepting myself brought me the wonder of a near perfect loving

31 year relationship that couldn't be bought for all the money that exist, and it was till death did we part!.

Pegasuss

[Youch]

You're right. If I wasn't able to judge, I might actually be deceived by the propoganda of society and the lies they propagate. Luckily ,I am able to watch the parade of automatons and drones, and clearly discern that I would rather be half out of the bag then "normal" like them.

The only difference is I don't lie, whereas the faceless armies of automatons and drones out there lie so much they wouldn't know the truth if it was a tractor trailer and hit them at 85 miles an hour.

Proudly admitting to be a pervert (as in the title of this thread), and in essence condeming most of the rest of the human race, are positions that do not lend themselves to having been born from the rational ability to judge, and perhaps exposes a rather predictable defence mechanism of lying to, or at least deluding yourself.

[ActingUpAgain]

One of my best friends (Best Man at my wedding, in fact) is a proud pervert.

His main thing is porn. He is not ashamed to tell anyone of his desires (but only if asked - he doesn't push it on people). In fact, on a local web community, he is known for his specific tastes, and has a well thought out opinion on any porn type.

He is the most open person I've ever met. He tells women interested in him that they should expect to be blogged about if they choose to date him. He is a firm believer that since because of the way the internet puts everything out there for the world to see, one should fully embrace the lack of privacy and own their perversions for all to see.

A little backstory on why he is this way: he lost both parents early in life (actually found his mother drowned in the bath), and due to a genetic disorder had a kidney transplant about a decade ago. Consequently he believes he's not going to live to see 40 (he's 32), so he lives every day like it's going to be his last.

This way of life has cost him in many ways. He has filed for bankruptcy and has no car. The longest job he's ever held (running video equipment for a church) pays virtually nothing. And he's very dependent on friends for just about anything.

However, he has made a ton of friends along the way that truly love being a source of support without expectation of repayment. He was my roommate for over two years when I was single, and only paid me rent if he had cask to spare (heck, I had the space anyway - he just got his own food). He repaid me by pulling me out of my shell to meet people - including the woman that eventually became my wife. As far I'm concerned, I still owe HIM!

[Lord Occultis]

Proudly admitting to be a pervert (as in the title of this thread), and in essence condeming most of the rest of the human race, are positions that do not lend themselves to having been born from the rational ability to judge, and perhaps exposes a rather predictable defence mechanism of lying to, or at least deluding yourself.

This explains everything better then I could put in words:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tkJNyQfAprY

[Tsukino_Rei]

One of my best friends (Best Man at my wedding, in fact) is a proud pervert.

His main thing is porn. He is not ashamed to tell anyone of his desires (but only if asked - he doesn't push it on people). In fact, on a local web community, he is known for his specific tastes, and has a well thought out opinion on any porn type.

He is the most open person I've ever met. He tells women interested in him that they should expect to be blogged about if they choose to date him. He is a firm believer that since because of the way the internet puts everything out there for the world to see, one should fully embrace the lack of privacy and own their perversions for all to see.

A little backstory on why he is this way: he lost both parents early in life (actually found his mother drowned in the bath), and due to a genetic disorder had a kidney transplant about a decade ago. Consequently he believes he's not going to live to see 40 (he's 32), so he lives every day like it's going to be his last.

This way of life has cost him in many ways. He has filed for bankruptcy and has no car. The longest job he's ever held (running video equipment for a church) pays virtually nothing. And he's very dependent on friends for just about anything.

However, he has made a ton of friends along the way that truly love being a source of support without expectation of repayment. He was my roommate for over two years when I was single, and only paid me rent if he had cask to spare (heck, I had the space anyway - he just got his own food). He repaid me by pulling me out of my shell to meet people - including the woman that eventually became my wife. As far I'm concerned, I still owe HIM!

That's awesome.

[Lord Occultis]

Proudly admitting to be a pervert (as in the title of this thread), and in essence condeming most of the rest of the human race, are positions that do not lend themselves to having been born from the rational ability to judge, and perhaps exposes a rather predictable defence mechanism of lying to, or at least deluding yourself.

There is no delusion.

This society is my enemy. Whatever brings woe unto them, whatever shatters their power, is in my favor.

You know your system is slowly dissolving, right? How long do you think you can support this system of oppression?

You realize eventually people will see the lie of normality, and realize it is nothign more then a system desinged by the majority to force conformity on the rest of us, yes?

Your world is ending. Revolution is coming, and you will either learn to adapt or be sweapt away.