Bluecat Posted December 28, 2009 Report Share Posted December 28, 2009 I was brought up Roman Catholic in a parish attached to a Benedictine Abbey. The abbey runs a school for boys, with both monks and lay teachers. My father worked there from 1948 - 1974 teaching History, Classics and advising on careers, and all 3 of my brothers went there during and after my father's lifetime. The school premises are separate from the Abbey itself.In recent years a couple of the monks that I recall from my childhood have been accused of commiting child abuse (sometimes years previously) and suspended from their duties while an investigation went on. Last time I was back there, for a family christening, the monk who had baptised, confirmed and married my brother, and conducted my mother's funeral, was not able to christen my bro's son due to being suspended. (This monk has since been cleared and reinstated, I'm glad to say - and I hope justly so). Today I read that another monk - a former head of the junior school - has pleaded guilty and been jailed for 8 years. He's a monk I well recall, as my brothers and their friends disliked him thoroughly. Well, now I may possibly have some idea why!I find it incredible that even after he was suspended from duties and under criminal investigation by the police, he abused yet another boy - who he met at the Abbey, though he abused him elsewhere. Incredible he was still not supervised and incredible that he went on doing abusing knowing he was under suspicion. What was he thinking? Did he not care? Did he believe (even when under investigation) that he was immune? Was he addicted? Was he mad?I also feel in an odd way complicit. You see, this monk was himself a pupil at the abbey's school. He left intending to study dentistry, but in my father's notes on him as career advisor he wrote "priest?" After my father's death, my mother often cited this note as an example of my Dad's wonderful insight.How could they (we) have been so ignorant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fawzo Posted December 28, 2009 Report Share Posted December 28, 2009 Peoples public persona usually don't reveal their deepest darkest secrets and addictions until after the neural pathways have been well entrenched and it is most difficult to break the pattern as ones body desires the chemicals that get released during the addictive process.If the mind isn't being involved in some other focus which keeps its attentions and faculties fully involved I think it gets bored and looks for ways to get those chemicals released the fastest way it knows how darn the consequences. In the same way some people are at the whim of their genetics, once these neural pathways are entrenched I think folks are the whim of them as well.But I'm not an analyst of any type so what do I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted December 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2009 Since I posted this I've been in touch with my youngest bro, Joe, who has been following the story with interest. He says he knew all about David Pearce, the monk who has been sentenced, and (like everyone I've ever talked to) didn't believe a word of the accusation against the other monk, who was acquitted. He also told me that a male teacher (not a priest or monk) at the school kissed him when he was ten - and then rang my father up half an hour later with a question about the crossword puzzle, presumably to check Joe hadn't spilled the beans. This teacher, it turns out, was found guilty in the late 1990s of assaulting a pupil and removed from the school - whereas Joe was 10 in 1972... that's an awful lot of time for molesting! Joe says he didn't tell anyone about the kiss, but that he did tell my mother a few years later when another monk (who later became abbot!) told him he could choose between having 6 strokes of the cane over the desk or one stroke over the monk's knee! It's quite alarming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fawzo Posted December 29, 2009 Report Share Posted December 29, 2009 Actually it seems as if the priesthood is the perfect career for someone with such a disease. Besides school teachers and child day care people I can't think of a better career for such folks. Plus the title of God's servant to deflect suspicions and make one appear somewhat above reproach and its a perfect fit.Been going on for Centuries probably way before Christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Ed Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 I believe a lot of the problem is that priests cannot marry. Other churches who allow their ministers to marry seem to have less of a problem. I don't know but it just appears to be at least part of the problem in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted December 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) I think in the older generation there were a lot of people who didn't know, or didn't want to confront, the issue of their sexuality. After all, if you were a believing RC attracted to your own sex there was no legitimate expression for it - there still isn't officially in the RCC, though the rest of society has relaxed rather. A life of celibacy (and an oath of celibacy) may have seemed like a solution to some. For me, growing up as a believing Catholic and discovering I was bisexual, celibacy seemed like rather a good idea - marriage was an utterly alien idea, and therefore I thought I should equally abstain from men and from women ... so I didn't need to deal with it and with the complications of being attracted to this or that individual. But I also knew enough to know I had no vocation (at least no vocation to the nunhood as I knew it). Edited December 30, 2009 by Bluecat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator murphzlaw1 Posted December 30, 2009 Administrator Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 While I agree, in part, Ed, I have to ask myself what kind of sick ** would go out of his way to use his position of authority to force himself on children (!)The answer, sadly, is in many newspapers and reports around the world.Would allowing priests to marry help the problem? Probably. But you're still going to have a group of them that really ARE in it for the children...and that's kind of scary.I would like to go on record as saying that I have a great amount of respect for the priesthood as a whole, indeed, any person of any religious faith, and my objections are not pointed at those that are faithful and considerate to those in their care. My disdain and disgust is aimed at those who abuse their positions of authority to bring children to harm. so I didn't need to deal with it and with the complications of being attracted to this or that individual.I am saddened to think that you had to run away from something that was so central to who you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fawzo Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 ........ But I also knew enough to know I had no vocation (at least no vocation to the nunhood as I knew it).Your Login name most likely would have become BlueNun in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 I know it's judgmental of me.... however, I question the motives of any who wish to hide away from the world to study "religious" topics. To me it seems a blatant warning flag.The reasons for a monestary, in my mind, have long since faded with history. We are in no need of a stronghold for religious knowledge.... the pagans at the gate have opened McDonalds and sent their kids to local schools......Personally I feel that the message for modern Christians ( and what a broad label THAT is ) is to be in and amongst the world holding the proper mindset and disposition or you are peddling with a broken chain....Of course there must be a few monks out there with personal and karmic reasons for seeking a monestary, however monestaries have always had a large secondary reason for existence.... to hide someone or something away from the world.... generally it's the ugly things that one seeks to hide..... and isn't it interesting that homosexuality and abuse is being revealed wherever one rubs the surface of the institution that so loudly screams against it........ I have looked for an upbeat story about something positive coming out of a monestary ( about a 30 min dogpile search ) and what i found was three accusations of abuse, a suicide, a possible theft of monestary funds, and - mustn't forget - a bake sale.... no stories of monks feeding the starving populace.... no stories of lost children returned by mysterious monks in the forest....I'm afraid all the coolness has left the building for monestaries..... nothing left ( generally speaking ) but weirdos and hangers-on....I know I'm not dropping the soap if i ever have to take refuge in the monestary..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Ed Posted December 30, 2009 Report Share Posted December 30, 2009 Would allowing priests to marry help the problem? Probably. But you're still going to have a group of them that really ARE in it for the children...and that's kind of scary.I concur that some may still do so as the position provides some allowances for this. Most priests are decent people, and some people may use that to their advantage. Most sexual predators that I have heard about usually have the ability to get along with people, which is also partly why so many can get away with things for so long (i.e. a "nice man like that could never do anything wrong.") At least that's what I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted December 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 I am saddened to think that you had to run away from something that was so central to who you are. Well, that is kind of you Murph.Different people take a different amount of time to develop, and I was/am certainly a slow developer in many ways. The requirement of celibacy allowed me to go at my own pace and accept myself before I put anything into practice... which hasn't turned out so bad, so far!Your Login name most likely would have become BlueNun in that situation.The worst wine of my youth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theresa Posted December 31, 2009 Report Share Posted December 31, 2009 Marrying priests off wouldn't help. Pedophiles are sexually attracted to children and no adult wife is going to change that all it would do is put even more children in danger - thier own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevMaillet Posted January 1, 2010 Report Share Posted January 1, 2010 unfortunately predators exist in all the worlds religions, socio economic situations etc. Some of it is upbringing, some of it is that they were abused themselves. It would be nice if it were a gene that could be turned off... unfortunately you cant and people like me have to try to survive their predation, but if it hadn't happened to me then I might not be who I am today... Sad to say that some of the best and worst among us are probably victims/survivors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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