Age Of Consent

[kokigami]

I am really curious how people are defining important here. Just as an example, when I was quite young, I decided to sun tan on the mattresses my neighbors had put out to air one summer day. They were on a picnic table. I rolled over, and over, so as not to burn, and fell off, on my head, onto concrete. An important decision, in that I could have been seriously hurt, or killed, if no one had been around to notice. I am sure I mad tons of important decisions at very early ages. I suspect you all did too.

So, then how is one judged responsible enough to make a choice?? That it doesn't go badly? That it leads where we expect? I find the whole idea confusing..

(and intriguing. good topic..)

Edited April 16, 2013 by kokigami

[revtimothybland]

Since I asked each individual about their own experience, which sort of answer would best fit the question?

I believe it's different for each individual. The law says 18-21 mostly because it's a middle of the road age where you move out and try to make something of yourself. In truth, some people take longer than this, and others are ready long before.

For instance, I didn't get married till I was 23. I'm 26 now. I moved out at 19, but moved back in when I couldn't handle it, and then back out again at around age 21. I joined the Army Reserves, which lasted four years, and never re-enlisted because of my damn knee. My dad gave me my first beer, which I made the choice to refrain from all through high school, at the age of 20 after coming home from Basic Training. My dad said, "Son, you're old enough to serve your country, you're old enough to have a drink." I first had sex when I was 19 because I felt I should wait. Doesn't mean I didn't know what love meant. In fact, I never have, and still don't equate love with sex. That choice was made shortly after I hit puberty.

So I kinda jumped around on the life choice thing. I like to think I made some ok choices. I know I've made mistakes. But that's all part of growing up.

On a note of some people taking longer than others, I know three people, all over forty. Two should not be allowed to raise children at all. They still act like they're in high school. The third still lives with moma and likes to tell lies even after he's caught in them. Needless to say, I told them to "Blessed Be, and F$#^K OFF." I don't need bad influences in my life like that, but I didn't wish them any ill will.

There's my personal experiences, as posted previously on this thread.

Mere, kokigami is right in that this is a confusing subject. Great for speculation, though. So my personal experiences probably wouldn't answer your question at all. They don't even really answer it for ME, either.

[mererdog]

So my personal experiences probably wouldn't answer your question at all. They don't even really answer it for ME, either.

So, your answer to the question is "I don't know"?

[revtimothybland]

So, your answer to the question is "I don't know"?

No, read my previous posts.

My answer is that no one really knows because it's a deeply personal thing, and the legal limits that we've set as a society are the closest we have to a straight answer.

Are you just trying to be antagonistic, or did I actually say something to offend? If I did, I apologize.

[mererdog]

My answer is that no one really knows because it's a deeply personal thing,

? I know many things that are deeply personal things. I know how old I was when I first had my heart broken, you know?

the legal limits that we've set as a society are the closest we have to a straight answer.

Laws do not give straight answers to personal questions. They actually exist as a way to to use impersonal to avoid having to make an effort to answer personal questions. Or am I missing something?

Are you just trying to be antagonistic

Nope.

Edited April 26, 2013 by mererdog

[revtimothybland]

Laws do not give straight answers to personal questions.

Of course not. But you're asking about the Age of Consent. In Law, that's 18. A simple, straightforward answer. In reality, it's deeply personal. Thus, we have a paradox. Now, you could be right in that laws are basically an excuse to avoid answering some of those personal questions. OR, the law could be in place because it's the only thing everyone agreed on as a guideline. One could argue for either explanation.

[Ex Nihilo]

Not really. Age of consent is not the same as age of majority in all legal contexts.

[revtimothybland]

No, but after the age of 18, people are ASSUMED to be mature enough, and a case must be made for their inability to make proper choices on their own in order for legal contexts to deny them this.

[Ex Nihilo]

No, l am well over 18 but I am still not assumed to be mature enough to run for president by the constitution, the highest legal authority in the land, at least not for another 4 months, and no case was made or required for that. The same is true for the offices of US Senator and Representative, and until it was amended relatively recently, the constitution assumed 18 yr olds were not mature enough to vote. All states assume that 18 yr olds are not mature enough to buy or drink alcohol. Obamacare assumes you are not mature enough to be required to buy your own health insurance until 26 and requires insurance companies to allow parents to keep their children on their policies until then. This works in the opposite way as well. Contract law generally allows parties 18yrs old or older to enter into contractual agreements and may make contracts voidable on the basis of minority if one or more of the parties is under the age of 18. Doesn't mean the contract is automatically void but it does allow the minor party the choice of ratifying the contract upon reaching 18. As far as the marriageable age goes, most states allow 18yr olds to marry without parental or judicial consent, but not all. In NE you must be at least 19, and 21 in MS. Then there's the whole issue of trying criminals as adults, which has been done as young as 12 in some cases. A number of states will not issue certain professional licenses to folks under 21. And then theres judges orders which are all over the place. My parents' order of divorce allowed me to pick the parent I wanted to live with as soon as I reached 13. The law is rarely easy and never simple. I would recommend never using the law as the benchmark for right and wrong. It does a poor enough job at establishing what is legal and illegal. Lol

[scottedward]

How old were you when you became responsible enough to make the important choices in your life?

That's a tough question, because I think I made too many stupid freaking decisions in the interim.

[revtimothybland]

To be honest, I never use the law as benchmark for right or wrong. just legal or illegal.

[mererdog]

That's a tough question, because I think I made too many stupid freaking decisions in the interim.

I know the feeling. It does make me wonder, though, whether it is the ability to learn from making dumb decisions that mark the man who is responsible enough to make his own decisions...?

[mererdog]

Of course not. But you're asking about the Age of Consent. In Law,

Well, no. That was just the topic title. I asked about individual experiences regarding age and responsibility. It's a sort of bait and switch where I invite people into the shallow end of the pool and then try to drag them into the deep end with me. It is effective about .12% of the time.

[kokigami]

I know the feeling. It does make me wonder, though, whether it is the ability to learn from making dumb decisions that mark the man who is responsible enough to make his own decisions...?

even a toddler learns from poor decisions. They don't always learn the right lesson. But neither do adults.

[revtimothybland]

Well, no. That was just the topic title. I asked about individual experiences regarding age and responsibility. It's a sort of bait and switch where I invite people into the shallow end of the pool and then try to drag them into the deep end with me. It is effective about .12% of the time.

You didn't read the rest of the post of mine you quoted from, did you? Here, I'll re-post:

Of course not. But you're asking about the Age of Consent. In Law, that's 18. A simple, straightforward answer. In reality, it's deeply personal. Thus, we have a paradox. Now, you could be right in that laws are basically an excuse to avoid answering some of those personal questions. OR, the law could be in place because it's the only thing everyone agreed on as a guideline. One could argue for either explanation.

[Qryos]

How old were you when you became responsible enough to make the important choices in your life?

~ Honestly, I made important choices before I was responsible enough & had to learn quickly how to to be what I needed to be.

I would suggest after the age of 16.

Every one needs to be able to focus before trying to define the existence they desire to refine...

[mererdog]

You didn't read the rest of the post of mine you quoted from, did you?

I did. What made you think I didn't?

[mererdog]

~ Honestly, I made important choices before I was responsible enough & had to learn quickly how to to be what I needed to be.

I can relate to all but the word "quickly".

Every one needs to be able to focus before trying to define the existence they desire to refine...

I take it you're not a big believer in people trusting their guts? First instincts not usually right?

[scottedward]

I think each of us are the sum of our experiences; it is for this reason that I also think that some mistakes are supposed be made so that we might learn from them. Unfortunately, the world we live in is a fairly careless one, filled with countless wrong-turns, broken tail-lights, and a complete and total lack of large enough 'wet-floor' signs. In other words, we have far too many mistakes that can kill us, rather than mistakes that can teach us or make us better people.

Fact of the matter is, I'm no longer even sure that 18, 21, or even 32 is old enough for some of our offspring (like my twin teenage step-kids, for example). Many are constantly over-exposed to a careless media, that still tries to teach them that smoking is bad, while at the same time showing television programs where drinking, unprotected sex, avoiding homework, and the occasional violent fit of criminal behavior is cool or at least socially acceptable. I worry about our world sometimes, not because it has too many people in it, but because most of them act like idiots.

Steps off of his soap-box.

[lordie]

The law here in pa is 16 yep

But for me i made decisions all my life i am 35 i took care of my parents my decision ran away once my decision . No matter what decision we make we make it at that moment on our feet so to speak

Lordie