idealdabbler Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 Please continue nowwith haiku so eloquentsorry to intrude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 ~ Oh, if you insist Dabby-Darling shadow-limned hillssnowy sunset definedsoftly greyabove jade wavestimelessly graceful pelicans soaran early frostcherry-tree petals fadeto fall away... I still can write American Haiku, y'know Glad to see DabbyPlaying with his poetryMissed his art and smile!It's fun to rhyme tooWith American Haiku...So syllabic, trueYet playing with wordsIs so much fun it's absurdThe joy that is heard{Yes, I'm a goof-ball quite frequently too silly...I just like to play } Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SifuPhil Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 Snow whispers on glassCozy in my libraryFireplace dancingLooking back at this one now, in light of Qryos' elucidation of Haiku rules, I see that I made a boo-boo. Specifically, 2nd line.Thanks, m'lady! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted February 20, 2004 Report Share Posted February 20, 2004 ~ Oh Phil... That's lovely!& if ya call it Senryu it's fine {Senryu is subjective haiku-type poetry B) }... If you'd like, I can help ya haiku-way tho' Snow whispers on glassCozy in my libraryFireplace dancing... Perhaps?cozy libraryfireplace dancing snow whispers... I know it's very abbreviated, but most haiku is.{Oh, & haiku has no capitalized letters...DAMMM I sound like a neurotic bitch! Please feel free to ignore everything I say!!!} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SifuPhil Posted February 20, 2004 Report Share Posted February 20, 2004 ~ Oh Phil... That's lovely!& if ya call it Senryu it's fine {Senryu is subjective haiku-type poetry B) }... If you'd like, I can help ya haiku-way tho' Snow whispers on glassCozy in my libraryFireplace dancing... Perhaps?cozy libraryfireplace dancing snow whispers... I know it's very abbreviated, but most haiku is.{Oh, & haiku has no capitalized letters...DAMMM I sound like a neurotic bitch! Please feel free to ignore everything I say!!!} To the contrary-I'm never too old (perhaps too stubborn) to learn. Thank you again!Maybe it's this Chinese mindset I have - hard to digest Japanese thought patterns ...or maybe it's just the Western stand-up comedian in me...or the frustrated writer - I'm just getting used to "coloring up" my lines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted February 20, 2004 Report Share Posted February 20, 2004 ~ Oh KAYYY!!! Ya wanna play? Phil is too ChineseTo speak as the JapaneseSo he will do theseWestern-type Haiku'coloring-up' what a fewsimpler words could doI'm sure that he knowsIt's only hot air that blowsFrom old Claire's bellows!It's a comic's stanceThat creates this sad clowns danceFor a smile perchancePlease try to forgiveThe obnoxiousness I giveWith a poets shiv ... Sorry...Sometimes I'm just an evil evil person B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idealdabbler Posted February 20, 2004 Report Share Posted February 20, 2004 OOOOHH!You are so evil, Q.On a scale:1=Ghandi.........10=OsamaI'd have say you're a 0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SifuPhil Posted February 21, 2004 Report Share Posted February 21, 2004 She DOES make Mother Theresa look like a thug, doesn't she? Chinese, Japanese,I'm too AmericanezeRight down to my kneesThe breath of hot airTo be real honest and fairDoes not come from ClaireA comical stanceIs where Sifu starts to danceAnd then drops his pantsSince my brain's a sieveAnd you suffer me to liveI'll dive on your shivSo here's my main thrustIn Claire's words I give my trustBut my brain is rust Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 ~ OH! If I could cuss in this section you'd be getting it baaad!!! <_< {Comparing me to... you are botha a bunch of POOOPS!!! }So you say I'm niceI even got told it twice!Yeah right, I'm a saint?Don't you try to taintMy Self with your pretty paintI still have my vice B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SifuPhil Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 (edited) Did she just refer to us as defecatory objects?!?She still has her viceMain among them - she's niceNow she's in a faint'Cause her Self we did paintWhat made her consternateWas putting her nice vice on ice(Oh, OK, so it isn't Haiku, or Tonka, or Selma, or whatever - so sue me! ) Edited February 23, 2004 by SifuPhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idealdabbler Posted February 23, 2004 Report Share Posted February 23, 2004 No one ever saidshe doesn't have a temperbut it's a cute one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SifuPhil Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Much like a new swordher temper is not yet triedbut stick around some... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted February 24, 2004 Report Share Posted February 24, 2004 Not meaning to carp,I'm not fishing for a harp!And I'm not that sharp.{~ Shame! Shame! I know, that was awful } ~ O.K., back to ???Silver by the fireThe river passes silentI see your outline{American Haiku... Japanese?... a Senryu B) maybe...I'm just a student as is everyone else!}~ P.S. Phil... that was coool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBee Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Dusk, shadows, all stillwhispered breezes through the treesnow comes the hunteror, if you prefer more symolic,Old house stands aloneempty hearth, untended yardwaiting for someoneJH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idealdabbler Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Dusk, shadows, all stillwhispered breezes through the treesnow comes the hunteror, if you prefer more symolic,Old house stands aloneempty hearth, untended yardwaiting for someoneJH This is very good, JohnnyBee. But I don't see it as either/or, I see it as both/and. If it were mine to play with, I would join the two either as:Dusk, shadows, all stillwhispered breezes through the treesnow comes the hunterOld house stands aloneempty hearth, untended yardwaiting for someoneWhich is still a little abstract, but tells a story.Or you could reverse the order of the stanzas:Old house stands aloneempty hearth, untended yardwaiting for someoneDusk, shadows, all stillwhispered breezes through the treesnow comes the hunterAnd you have the introduction to an epic.Anyway, it is not mine to play with.Did I mention how much I like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBee Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 I'd never read them reversed that way, I like it too. between the two of us, we could rule the WORLD!!!oh, okay, that might have been a bit carried away, but I like the look of that. thank you for your comments.InterpretationSees meaning beyond the wordsOld thoughts gain new life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 (edited) "InterpretationSees meaning beyond the wordsOld thoughts gain new life Old thoughts gain new lifeSees meaning beyond the wordsInterpretation"- JohnnyBee~ I call it 'Mirror Haiku' & find it a very cool usage of the form Shivering moon-light Shattered by the broken treeSilver-lined riverSilver-lined riverShattered by the broken treeShivering moon-light ~ I just enjoy it, y'know? Turning things up-side-down & side-ways is my speciality B) When the wind changesThe young blossoms dance awayEarly Spring is cruelEarly Spring is cruelThe young blossoms dance awayWhen the wind changes Edited March 9, 2004 by Qryos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joebo Posted March 15, 2004 Report Share Posted March 15, 2004 A little stretch, taking a deep breathexhaling slowlyRubbing muscleswarm cloth massaginglungs are burningA brisk ridedoes the heart goodpain following Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted March 16, 2004 Report Share Posted March 16, 2004 an owl calls awaythe moon falling in the lakeshimmering star lit~ That's an experimental run-on type. I like it whether it's 'right' or not...fat frog's summer songcreaky as this old wood chairwe're just as lazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevBJ Posted March 17, 2004 Report Share Posted March 17, 2004 Been gone a long time.Posting total never changed.Glad now to be back.Working on a siteFor my new business ventureHas kept me away.Now reconnecting,Though many don't rememberWho or what I am.I visit rarely.Used to post a lot each day.Now, just a trickle.Missed you very much,Especially Connie.Should spend more time here.Some may have no joyAt my return to this place,But that matters not.To renew the old,Love must be fundamental,Friend and foe alike.Pardon me, while I retch at this drivel of mine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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