New Neighbors

[Decline]

If "killing him with kindness" doesn't work, stepping outside with a camera might do the trick. If he thinks you are serious enough to compile evidence maybe he will take the hint.

[grateful]

carl carlson, I LOVE your advice, and would take it in a heartbeat , there are other mitigating factors however

this man is being overly hostile and aggressive, given the circumstances, I don't think it would be safe to go to him right now...I have heard yelling from his house since, and he reeked of alcohol early on a saturday morning - he's mixing it up and mean in his house, no wonder he mixes it up and is mean on the street

he's a little too agro/ unpredictable to offer the olive branch right now

that said, if I could solve it from my end (an attractive fence) I would have no problem with a cheery and genuine "good morning"(!)

[BrDevon]

The more I read this, the more it seems that this man has an addiction or mental/emotional disorder and you are caught in the midst of his issues. There is some disconnect that makes it acceptable to him to do this, even though a reasonable person would not allow his animal to deficate on another person's property. That's the rub - the addiction disorder or illness will not let this person see through that filter we call reasonable.

Sadly, it seems as though your only recourse is to involve law enforcement if necessary. I would expect local ordinances to offer you relief from someone allowing their animal to defecate on your property.

Edited February 28, 2012 by BrDevon

[Qryos]

~ Hmmm...

Perhaps a bright red sign { can't miss that! } saying something like

"This lawn has been treated

with Toxins

Please protect your pets!"

I work with grumpy old customers every day & find the most effective tone of voice is the 'cranky child soother',

but that's probably not going to work since he's already gotten aggressive & insulting

Perhaps taking pictures & calling the authorities may be your only option. Very unfortunate!

But you shouldn't have to deal with scoopin' the poo & being yelled at.

Maybe when the authorities visit him they'll find he does need assistance.

( That would be a goood outcome, huh? & ya end-up with the dog! Sorry. Just, y'know... )

[grateful]

A few years ago, my neighbor used a pooper-scooper to pick-up a sack of dog crap and left it at my front door. A subtle hint to keep my dog out of her yard.... Only problem was, we didn't have a dog.

oh my! I'm not quite sure where this guy lives, though I know it is one of three houses, either behind me or next door, seperated by the drive (and their fenced in gardens(!) I would never do that, that's just asking for trouble...,

[grateful]

natural/non toxic deterents and a small wrought iron fence, innocuos and lovely well on "this side" - and pansies! (maybe he dislikes people but loves flowers (!)

[Carl Harry Carlson]

Hey I just thought of an idea . . .

Why not print this thread and send it to him and ask him what he thinks you should do?

[grateful]

a few days of "good morning" seems to have stunned him into replying in kind

probably still bringing his little dog over (just a guess) but I have determined not to take notice right now

[Hyper Real]

I am glad the situation has not escalated.

When someone is in error sometimes the best approach is to let him acknowledge it without losing to much face rather than being confrontational about it.

Also I am quite shocked by some of the 'fighting fire with fire' suggestions here, I suspect most would consider themselves some kind of minister of the religion of their choice and I thought that peace, patience and understanding would be the first recommendation most would give.

[mererdog]

In your initial description, your actions could be considered to be both rude and passive-aggressive. I'm not saying that they were, but just that I can see how they could be taken that way. If your neighbor took it that way, he may have been responding based on that- being rude and passive-aggressive in retaliation. If that is the case, a bit of time giving him reason to see you differently may completely clear things up. Just a thought.

Edited March 7, 2012 by mererdog

[grateful]

I agree that my response could perhaps be viewed as "passive aggressive" by someone who was used to using my lawn as their dogs bathroom (and leaving their (mess) for me to clean up.

But to the average dog owner, homeowner and/or tenant, it's just plain rude, confrontational and disgusting.

just sayin'

oh yes, he also did quite a bit of shouting because he was asked quite nicely, I may add, to take it elsewhere..

[mererdog]

I agree that my response could perhaps be viewed as "passive aggressive" by someone who was used to using my lawn as their dogs bathroom (and leaving their (mess) for me to clean up.

According to your account, "standing in the doorway, I was kind of staring open mouthed, I couldn't believe what I was seeing" and he had not yet had a chance to clean anything up. A baggy can fold neatly into a pocket, leaving no visible sign that it is there. Had you not been standing there staring at him in an accusatory manner, can you say with complete certainty that he would not have cleaned it up?

Please understand that I'm not trying to blame you. I have no idea what his intentions were, or what the consequences of your actions were. I am simply offering an alternate explanation that may allow you to see your neighbor as somewhat less of a villain, in the hope of fostering a little peace and understanding.

[grateful]

no, no, I hear what you are saying. I was standing in the doorway admiring a newly filled and installed window box ( I was happy) he came into my line of vision peripherally, my back was to him initially, and I actually smiled at him, it was then that I saw the little dog - he did not smile back

he looked at me with what appeared to be open disdain (appeared to be being the operative word)

the disdain was confirmed when he came back throughout the afternoon and the following days and stood on the (my) lawn and had his dog relieve herself (without cleaning up)

after a confrontation with my husband, he continued to bring her and stare at the house...

appears he may just be a bit of a nut case who won't clean up after his dog

[Hyper Real]

Did you have conversations with your other neighbors?

They may know him longer and can perhaps give you advice on how to proceed or even help out.

[grateful]

I have, hyperreal, one neighbor, on the other side, said he was "okay", another said (volunteered) that he was crazy, and that he ( the neighbor offering the opinion) had called the police many times due to parking issues and screaming/fighting coming from the house. "watch the guy on your right", he said. this was after the incident in question, which I did not bring up. It appears that he has a number of work vehicles that he parks on the street and has been known to block driveways and sidewalks.

there are only a few houses on the street, most "meetings" with other neighbors have just been hello and a wave or a smile.

meredog, I really don't see him as a villian despite his actions. I feel sorry for him more than anything else. and I feel sorry for me that in addition to cleaning up after my own dog, I now have to clean up after his.

I am guessing that my (our) lack of attention to his comings and goings has taken some of the satisfaction he may have been getting.

I understand that the particulars/nuances of this situation are only my words/interpretation but, I'm curious, how would you handle it? what would you say to someone who shows up in front of your house, glaring at you while smoking a cigarette and while his little dog "goes", then turns down his drive, leaving the poo on your lawn (it was then when I "stared open mouthed", and wondered aloud that "I just can't see how that was okay")

say that you are a relatively cheerful and friendly person (who LOVES dogs), who is aware that others might not see the world as you do and do not demand that they do, who is interested in making the place that you live beautifu and is simply stunned that someone would do that

I did not mention, but will now, that he told me, loudly and angrily, that he will do whatever he wants and how dare I question him, his dog had always gone to the bathroom there - um, even though it was on someone else's property

[Hyper Real]

Hmmm, well if he has issues with other people living near him then I fear a resolution of the situation is becoming less probable.

Unless he is a violent or dangerous person I would at this stage recommend you, and at least two other neighbors to go over to his house and ask him if he is willing to talk about the issues in your neighborhood. Make sure it is not threatening and make him understand that you are also willing to listen to his possible gripes as well. Remember this is not the time to argue, it is the time to perhaps reconcile differences, if that does not work do not argue and simply leave.

From then on you have two tracks:

1. Make him pay for it

Record in a log every single instance he lets his dog do his thing on your lawn.

Make several video recordings of the event.

Get if possible several affidavits from your neighbors that have seen him doing it.

Send him at least two certified letters requesting him to stop his actions.

The point is you are preparing evidence for a case.

Then sue him in small claims court for cleanup fees.

If he continues, you continue to sue him.

2. Have him evicted.

This is very hard and next to impossible when the complaint comes from only one neighbor. However if several neighbors have continuous complaints about him it is possible. Again key is the collection and registration of evidence.

If he is renting the place take the evidence to the homeowner. The landlord will be compelled to bring it up to the renter because if he is not he himself may become subject to litigation.

If there is a homeowners association taker it to the designated person.

In case he is the homeowner eviction is very hard and based on what I perceive here not feasible, however if he rents it is very well possible.

But key is:

1. To log all events, and include a few video recordings.

2. To show proof he is notified by certified mail at least twice.

3. Affidavits from neighbors.

He might stop if the landlord gets involved.

Edited March 7, 2012 by hyperreal

[mererdog]

I understand that the particulars/nuances of this situation are only my words/interpretation but, I'm curious, how would you handle it?

Ok. Hopefully you can see how the way you describe the situation here is different from how you described it before in some important ways.

I think it fair to say that I wouldn't have been bothered by it enough to do much of anything about it. Considering some of the neighbors I have had, what you describe would not really strike me as that big a deal. Keep in mind, however, that I have had pimps get into fights on my lawn. Also, I still see plenty of room to give him the benefit of the doubt, which tends to be my default position. That's not advice, it's just what I would probably do, right, wrong, or indifferent.

I did not mention, but will now, that he told me, loudly and angrily, that he will do whatever he wants and how dare I question him, his dog had always gone to the bathroom there - um, even though it was on someone else's property

That makes me wonder who lived there before you did and what was their relationship with this man. I've got this vague notion that he may be missing a friend and resenting you for being involved in his loss. Edited March 7, 2012 by mererdog

[grateful]

I don't think so, they were two busy grad students who were never home...he's a really angry man (trust me)

regarding your first statement, it reminds me of a time when someone turned to me and said "what the hell was that noise"?

definitely gunshots, I said calmly...

thank you hyperreal for your suggestions; I don't think we'll bring a group to him though (he's really angry, and most probably, at least a little, crazy) and I only know the couple next door....

your advice to videotape and document when/if he continues is right on target, but I hope it doesn't come to that - I will however put up my little fench and plant pansies this weekend, while I won't be surprised if he continues to do what he does, I'd be really happy if he saw them as just pretty and not a challenge to his masculinity or his right to my garden

[Atwater Vitki]

Wow, a lot has been said in all directions here Grateful. I genuinely feel bad for your situation as we went through the same thing when we first moved in here. The only advice I would take from the above are the non-aggressive, non-fight fire with fire!

I know, you'd think the crazy ol' Viking would be all over battle axes and pooch-ka-bobs, but that has never worked very well....unless you intend on the Hundred Year War.

What worked here was simply sitting outside in a lawn chair for a few days to "meet the neighbors". Obviously that hasn't worked with you and ignoring it seems to have taken the thrill out of his declaration of poo-wars. At my, well ex's, house where my daughter grew up, it took the photo documentation and certified letter routine to recoup the $700 to replant the areas of my brand new lawn the neighbor's dog caused. Back in those days, they simply opened the door and let "Bridget", their "show, full size poodle" go where she wanted. They were shocked when myself and several other neighbors all sued him at the same time (different cases, same docket) in small claims. Why dogs refuse to "go" in their own yard is baffling, but I suppose they are indeed territorial animals.

Through our working with two of the local animal shelters here I've downloaded a couple of spiffy programs concerning animal laws (California). All I need is your zip code and I can get you your local ordinances, if ya need help with that.

Blessings of Peace,

Edited March 7, 2012 by Atwater Vitki

[grateful]