Phillipe

When I stop doing that, luv, it'll be time to leave.

Thank you, my Queen.

Wow~ I am impressed! Now see how much more avant garde that looks? Seriously - I love your stuff - you have a dark side like mine...

Paralyzed by Fluorescent Lights (sung to the tune of “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” – by Meatloaf) Patient: I remember every little thing As if it happened only yesterday Parking in the lot And there was not another patient in sight And I never had a doc Treat me any worse than you did And all the guys at work They were glad they weren't me that night And now my body is oh so cold and tight It never felt so bad, I never felt such blight And I'm groaning like a stuck pig in the dark of the night C'mon! Hold on tight! C'mon! Hold on tight! Though it's cold and lonely and I've got blurred sight 'Cause I can't see too well with fluorescent lights Doctor: Ain't no doubt about it Time to get undressed Now you are forty-nine years old And have pains in your chest Ain't no doubt about it No need to pout about it Ain't no doubt about it Time to get undressed Patient: But I'm forty-nine years old And have these pains in my chest Doctor: Sir, I'll listen to your heart You got it drowning out the radio I've been waiting so long For you to come along and have some tests And I gotta let ya know Yes you're really gonna regret it So open up your eyes while I analyze It'll feel all right Well I wanna make your ticker run And now your body is oh so cold and tight It doesn't feel so good, it doesn't feel too right And you're moaning like a stuck pig in the dark of the night C'mon! Hold on tight! C'mon! Hold on tight! Though it's cold and lonely and you're losing your sight I can see your x-rays by the ER light X-rays by the ER light The docs will do what they can And advise a little more bed rest Ain't no doubt about it You got pains in your chest But you are barely forty-nine And you are barely-- We're gonna go operate tonight We're gonna go operate Tonight's the night... Radio Broadcast: Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker going here, two IV down, nothing on, no scoring, bottom of the lungs, there's the wind-up and there it is, a scalpel-cut up the middle, look at him go. This Doctor can really fly! He's rounding the lungs and really turning it on now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna try for the spleen; the retractor is bobbled out in center, and here comes the suture, and what a suture! He's gonna get the anesthesia head-first, here it comes, he's out! No, wait, he's awake—still awake, this guy really makes things happen out there. Doctor steps up to the table, here's the slice-- he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying for the liver, here's the clamp, it's old as dirt-- save the liver! Holy cow, how debased! He's taking a pretty big piece of tissue out of there, almost daring him to try and regain consciousness. The nurse glances over, the resident winds up, and it's misdiagnosed, misdiagnosed for the third time, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, get the paddles, it's gonna be close, here's the resuscitation, there's the play at the heart, holy cow, I don't think he's gonna make it! Doctor: Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further--! Can you pay me? Will you pay me forever? Do you hear me? Will you reimburse me? You would make me so happy (and the same for my wife) If you have insurance with Metropolitan Life Can you pay me!? Will you pay me forever!? Do you hear me!? Do you have A-1 credit?!? You would me so happy (and the same for my wife) If you have some Blue Cross or Provisional Life I gotta know right now Before we go any further Can you pay me!!!? Will you pay me forever!!!? Patient: Please just operate Doctor, doctor please just operate Please just operate And I'll give you my answer in the morning Please just operate Doctor, doctor please just operate Please just operate And I'll give you my answer in the morning Please just operate Doctor, Doctor please just operate Please just operate And I'll give you my answer in the morning Doctor: I gotta know right now! Will you pay me? Will you pay me forever? Do you hear me? Will you reimburse me? You could make me so happy (and the same for my wife) Will you pay me today to try to save your poor life? I gotta know right now! Before we go any further Will you pay me? Or do you have some insurance? Patient: Please just operate Doctor, doctor please just operate Please just operate And I'll give you my answer in the morning Please just operate!!! Doctor: Will you pay me on credit? Patient: Please just operate!!! Doctor: Do you have some insurance??? Patient: I couldn't take it any longer Lord I'm in pain! Then the nausea came upon me Like a tidal wave I started swearing at Rn's and on my mother's grave That I would pay you to the end of time I swore that I would pay you to the end of time! So now I'm praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive Cause if I have another payroll deduction made I don't think that I can really survive I'll never break my promise or forget my vow But God only knows, I'd like to sue right now I'm praying for the end of time It's all that I can do Praying for the end of time, so I can end my payments to you!!! (Repeat to fade-out:) Patient: It was long ago and it was far away The docs were much better than they are today Doctor: It never felt so good It never felt so right I'm raking in the dough From everyone in sight

But now you need to change the font to Times New Roman, 12 pt, italics on every third word and bolding on every seventh word. Counting from the end of the piece, of course.

Yes, Lady Theresa, your clothes taste very good.

Ooh - I like that!

Bada bing - I won't forget the bling. Or anything.

Q? I honestly don't have any kind of criticism, I just have this compulsion - the beginning letter of every new line should be capitalized, unless you're e.e. cummings. By the way - my compulsion tells me that you meant to write... {Tell me I'm being a bitch & I will leave - be honest!} ...or possibly even... {Tell me - I'm being a bitch! - & I will. Leave be - honest!} I just have a thang for people who have a thang about line-breaks and such.

That sounds like "The Game of Life - Salvador Dali Special Edition"

What's the other half - being eaten by a bear? Yay - I'm having fun!

Oh, looking's cool. I need to stand up - that went over my head...

Darn!

Well, I'm a daddy, but the kids are with the reason I'm no longer a hubby. But for a city boy, the woods are a constant challenge...

Don't worry - I'm de-void of any such ambition...

Can't touch this... ...why do I have a sudden urge to put on my baggiest pants and shimmy sideways?

I'm constantly working at simplifying my life as much as possible. If it weren't for the Net, I might just decide to get off the grid. It sticks to my butt something awful.

Sorry - I only believe that which I see with my own two eyes...

Well, one very important thing to realize...Void where prohibited.

Give 'em the vote and see what happens?

I'll finally be able to say "I knew her when..." Break a leg, luv!

Yr wlcm

Humph. Don't need it Don't want it Can't have it Won't flaunt it No thumbs up No thumbs down No big grins No sad frown No joy in Mudville No zest in Bel-Air No laughter in Tulsa No grins in Montclaire No cash in my pocket No dames in my bed No hope for the future No brains in my head

Why be sad? If you're gone, you might not even realize it - nor anything else, for that matter. A complete void. Eternal nothingness. The Ultimate Blank. ...sounds like a package tour I took once... Sometimes, Gone calls to us...