Dr. Seuss Gives Up Women

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Dr. Seuss Gives Up Women

The day was wet as fishes

As the news came to his eyes

He'd lost all of his wishes

'Neath the dark and cloudy skies

He'd once had hopes of being just

Like every other guy

But when his Hope Balloon went bust

He sat down and he cried

“Oh WHY even bother to TRY?”

He screamed out to the trees

It echoed down the valley

As he fell down to his knees

“I TRY to make them happy

And I TRY to make them glad

But every time I TRY to TRY

They end up being mad!

They're mad at me for little things

And bigger things as well

They're mad when I offer them rings

Or tell them “Go to Hell!”

If I go left, they're leaning right

If I go up, they're down

When they get all too serious

I'm usually the clown

Enough's enough! I'll be real tough!

I don't need any gal!

Of course it might get kind of rough

When I just need a pal

Oh, heck, I'll get some goldfish

At least they have a short life

Just like if I would get my wish

Along with a new wife

For then I'd be in trouble deep

My life no longer mine

She'd be awake when I'm asleep

And then she'd mutter, “Fine!”

I know that word from women past

It means only one thing:

As baritone I've sung my last;

Soprano now I'll sing

So maybe this is all for good

This tearing of my heart;

This path of loneliness I walk,

This soul that's ripped apart

I now have time to swallow

And have time for everything

In fact, I think I'll wallow

In the mud, and then I'll sing!

One thing's for sure, I have the cure-

No longer will I seek

The female of the species-

At least, until late next week

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