Memorial For Dickie

[reverend irma]

So many times I have heard a news report of neighbors calling police because of a foul smell coming from an apartment and then a body is discovered. I have always wondered why some one wasn't alerted before the decomposition progressed to such an extent. Where was the decedant's family and friends?

On the 25th of January, I received a call from my brother alerting me that my cousin had been found this way. His body was so badly decomposed that the coroner could not determine cause of death without an autopsy.

My cousin, Dickie, named after his father, is the first born son of my mother's youngest sister, Mary. He was born in the same year my younger sister was born.

We saw each other quite frequently through out our child hood as we lived in close proximity of each other. We spent all the holidays together. My sister went to school with Dickie, and we even stayed with his younger brother and sister when our Aunt Mary went out.

We lost touch in our adult years, the last time I saw him was at my mother's wake in 2006.

I have been so involved in my own life that I really haven't thought about him, until yesterday. The news of his death, compounded with the details of how he was found, has had a profound effect on me.

I have been unable to think of anything else. I struggle to keep myself focused in the now, and yet I am flooded with memories as if I were a child again visiting my aunt Mary and cousins Dickie, Paul and Becky.

I remember the outings to Hond Pond in Woburn, the summer barbacues by their pool, the holidays and the late night talks when we would all gather in the kitchen with coffee and cake...and I keep thinking, what, how, why? As if I cannot grasp the reality of the situation.

I remind myself of my spiritual beliefs that death is merely a transition, but its a poor comfort that doesn't take the sting away from the image of my cousin laying dead in his apt for days before being discovered, or of his body in such an advanced state of decay an autopsy was required to determine the cause of his death. (Which has not been revealed to me).

These are all practical and common procedures in such instances, but not in this case, in this case the decomposed body is my cousin, he has a name and a face and a personality and it suddenly doesn't seem so practical or common. It seems like I am in living in a night mare

There is no church I go to, so I came here, to share my experience with you and ask for your healing thoughts on behalf of my aunt, uncle and cousins who must find some way of coping with this tragedy.

In peace and faith,

Irma

[Bro. Hex]

I am glad that you thought of coming here with this, Rev Irma.

We may be a dysfunctional lot, and some of us don't like each other,

(just like in most families), but we do "attend the same church", so to speak,

and I hope that it is true that we will "be there for each other" in times of trial.

Of course you are devastated by the way your cousin died... and that no one even missed him for days. How very sad. I will remember you and Becky and Paul in my prayers and meditations.

Peace be with you.

Hex

[Kingfisher]

There are a million things I could say, but I know you don't need to hear them. As I was searching for a way to express the healing light in my heart without tired platitudes, I stumbled across this song. It touched me in a way I haven't experienced since I chaperoned a youth retreat as a lay minister many years ago. I have long abandoned the dogma of Catholicism, but I have never forgotten the ineffable grace and glory of God. If the dog hadn't eaten my microphone I would have accompanied it for you. I couldn't help but cry, and in joining his song my soul testifies to a faith beyond words.

May the Holy Spirit descend upon you and your family, and provide comfort in this time of deep suffering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCFdLap6l7w

There's a place of quiet stillness

'Tween the light and shadows reach

Where the hurting and the hopeless

Seek everlasting peace

Words of men and songs of angels

Whisper comfort bittersweet

Mending grief and life eternal

Where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains

In crowns of thorns and crimson stains

And tears that fall on Jesus' feet

Where joy and sorrow meet

There's a place the lost surrender

And the weary will retreat

Full of grace and mercy tender

In times of unbelief

For the wounded there is healing

Strength is given to the weak

Broken hearts find love redeeming

Where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains

In crowns of thorns and crimson stains

And tears that fall on Jesus' feet

Where joy and sorrow meet

There's a place of thirst and hunger

Where the roots of faith grow deep

And there is rain and rolling thunder

When the road is rough and steep

There is hope in desperation

There is victory in defeat

At the cross of restoration

Where joy and sorrow meet

There is a place where hope remains

In crowns of thorns and crimson stains

And tears that fall on Jesus' feet

Where joy and sorrow meet

{{hugs}}

[Atwater Vitki]

I agree with Kingfisher in that lengthy platitudes are not needed at this juncture in Life. I would like to say, with all due respect and heartfelt sadness for you;

My deepest Sympathy and Condolences. May your heart and Spirit be made calm, and may you quickly find resolution within.

Blessings of Healing, Restoration and Peace,

"RevAl"

You of course will be added to my prayer list.

[reverend irma]

Thanks to all for your kindness and support.

Kingfisher, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I will pass this song along to my family in hope that it will comfort them as much as it has me.

[grateful]

I am so sorry for your loss..losing our people is awful

when I read your words about your cousin Dickie's death, I was reminded of the delicate ties that we have to our extended family; even though we can drift away as we get older, that tie remains and it's strength can surprise us at times...

I promise to hold your family in the light and I wish you peace at this difficult time