Angry With Life

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wow, as I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because "it's so cold", your post hit home

I am so very sorry for the extreme pain and frustration you are experiencing friend, and remember well how very hard it can be to "get out from under"

though any real pain that I have experienced has been temporary - with an end in sight - it did not diminish the "moments" where the agony seemed to have no end

some people have enjoyed considerable pain relief with accupuncture, reiki and other less than western methods

for what it's worth, I wish you love and light and freedom from this somehow

Thank you very much for your sympathy and your kind words of encouragement. I have tried accupuncture, reiki, meditation, traditional chinese herbal medicine and combinations of eastern and western medicines. Unfortunately haven't seen any positive results yet.

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My neurosurgeon says that considering the nature of my trigeminal nueralgia I have at least a 50% chance of developing anesthesia dolorosa. Instead of pain episodes, it would be non-stop and never ending for the rest of my life. As it stands, any episode that lasts longer than three hours makes me feel like I am losing sanity.

Thank you very much for the suggestion though.

Assuming that gamma knife radio surgery deadens the nerve, I wonder how anesthesia dolorosa could be a result from having GKRS? A second opinion might help? If your condition worsens and it gets unbearable, I think I'd consider GKRS as a treatment. Since surgery and medications didn't help, it just seems that killing the nerve which causes the pain would be a logical step. But of course the risks are yours to weigh. God's speed.
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again, I'm so sorry and I wish you strength, friend

I know you've considered this from every angle and have gone to great

lengths to change the course of your illness by every means available

to you; I read of your experiences with both surgery and drug therapy

the only other suggestion that I have is an entirely unprofessional and

uninvited one

do yoga(use drugs if you have to, to start)

focus entirely on the mind/body connection - that is, your own power and

accessing it (despite the pain)

you've been feeling recently that it's just not worth it- a doctor told me

once "how could you be feeling "good"? you're in physical pain, and as long

as you are, you can't feel well otherwise.."

stay, it's worth it

BTW yoga has gotten me through some horrific times, despite my own pain

I just wonder, if you found the perfect scenario, if it couldn't help

you (that scenario might be part of a treatment plan, depending on your

insurance,if you want it to be; alternative therapies are not the bugaboo

they once were vis a vis the medical community) or it could be sun salutations

and stretching in your living room with mindfulness

tomorrow, when I practice, I will remember you, and wish you back to your

power and a modicum of pain free days, at least to start!

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One thing I used to say when I worked at a suicide hotline (and I use this advise myself):

There is at least one person on this earth whose life you need to make a living hell. Find that person and live to do it.

My supervisor used to cringe every time I would take the conversation there, but I often had people call me the next day and tell me they survived the night if only because they hadn't found the person to get even with.

Remember, I care. I have migraines for at least one week a month, often they run 10 to 13 days on an attack, and have had them for the last 30 years. People have learned that if they see tears in my eyes and I'm not at a funeral, they had best run away. When I get to about day 4, I am no longer a sane person. Not to compare my pain to yours, just to say I understand debilitating pain. Keep fighting. I pray one day we will find the cures to these things that cripple us. Let's live for that day.

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