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Posts posted by Crzyme

  1. Note: I was inspired to make this poll after watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU the other night.

    I think we should be allowed to harm ourselves

    but when a person in pregnant they are harming someone else,

    this is not an abortion issue, if a woman has an abortion she is once more free to do as she wishes with her body as she will not be bringing the baby to term but a woman bringing a baby to term will be bringing a person into the world and that person should be allowed to have as healthy a start as is possible.

    of course doing as a person wants and harming their bodies and brains has to include that the working people will not be taking care of your ass when you are a drooling idiot due to self inflicted injury to the brain or body.

    being able to harm ones self doesn't include neglecting or harming their spouse, children, neighbors, parents etc... so if they are methed out or a drunken sot or whatever everyone is free to leave them on their own, remove the children and let the person tend to themselves or wallow in their misery. And take away their Privileged adult status.

    Of course people who use substances and continue to be able to work and live unimpaired should be allowed to do just that without penalties or hassles.

  2. So true.

    The other day I was listening to the radio and a commercial came on about storm windows and how you were not safe unless you had them. In the background I heard a siren wailing and thought it was outside... only when I heard the ad for the storm windows again I realized the siren was from the ad itself.

    yes even in a window ad, it is really amazing the scare tactics you will find all over the TV/Radio when you stop to pay attention to them.

  3. The world is a bubbling cauldron of hate, violence and evil; yet flowers still bloom and birds still sing. However, if you stop to smell the flowers, you may get shot in a drive-by. The day is also coming where the movie house, restaurant or train you are in could explode into rubble because of a terrorist attack.

    Sadly, the Millennium did not usher in an era of peace and understanding; rather an era of intimidation and fear. My confidence in my generation’s ability to redeem itself, including our own current government’s ability to effectively (and with honesty) lead its people, has dwindled immensely in these past few years. The four essential human freedoms that Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke of 70 years ago have been reduced to two-and-a-half and, they’re not doing too well.

    In our own society, Freedom from Want is not guaranteed for the poor and destitute even though the resources are at our fingertips. Freedom to Worship has been confused with Religious zeal; Freedom of Speech (and expression) is relegated to specified zones, and Freedom from Fear has disappeared.

    Fear is where I want to focus; not the healthy, legitimate concerns that we all have, but the crippling fear of facing an enemy that saps the joy of life from our being through violent intimidation.

    Fear will destroy you faster than any outside enemy. Fear paralyzes a people. Street gangs use fear to control neighborhoods. Tyrants use fear to oppress a country. Terrorists use fear to neutralize nations. They instill fear through violent menace and retaliation. And they know, as all warriors know, that if we are crippled by fear, we have already lost the battle. They rattle their swords and we cower. We lack courage.

    As children we are afraid of the dark. As adults, we fear failure. In all these fears, we wind up running away, remain silent, do nothing, or sit alone worrying unless we face them head on and deal with them. We must do something to free ourselves from the paralysis that keep us in bondage and ineffective as individuals, and as a nation. We must identify, acknowledge and respond to our fears, real and imagined.

    You say, “Okay, old man, so what should I do about it?” Two words: Do Good.

    Hear me out. The world needs good people to do good things. In doing good, you honor yourself and others. Honesty and integrity are not archaic values of the past; they will work as well today in bringing forth positive results. You must be willing to see that what you do (as well as what you don’t do) affects others around you as well as yourself and that you can make a dramatic difference in a world bent on violence and self destruction.

    Idealistically we all want to make our mark in the world; unfortunately, many leave a scar instead. As you head out into society to establish career, home and family, always carry with you strength of character and determination to succeed in what you do without hurting others. Do not allow fear of failure, the unknown or bullies’ threats keep you from building and achieving your hopes and dreams.

    Do not be afraid to oppose violence, speak out against injustice, expose lies and deception, defend the weak, help those in need, and stand up for what is right. I believe you, all of us, can make a difference for good. Be strong but don’t be a bully. Be at peace, as much as is possible, with all those you come in contact with.

    If the world community is to prosper there is, then, no room for barbaric, irresponsible violent behavior. We must first eradicate this pervasive fear that menaces our society by eliminating terrorism in all its forms. Free Society is breaking down and the only way I see to reverse the trend is by confronting the threat of violence (and those who perpetrate it) which keeps us in a state of fear, both at home and abroad. Change must begin with you, gentle reader. Claim the victory! Have the courage to do Good.

    Fear is also the tool of the government and the media, that is what keeps people fear level high, they thrive on it, how else could a useless war be championed by the people, some even after finding that those illusive weapons of mass destruction were fictional from the start still believe in the government that is in power all due to the perfected use of fear against the United States Citizens.

    Much of our natural danger signals to our brains (those we have as instinct) have been muted down, such as the use of flashes of red, this is instinctual a danger signal, it makes our brain take note because in nature it is often a sign of danger, from poisonous, deadly or hot things, so the ad agencies use it on so many products, especially a round red mark, our brain will see it and we feel an alertness, often mistaken for excitement and are drawn to at the very least, look at the item. But go into a market and look down any isle and look for all the red danger signals, it is amazing, so our brains get resigned to ignoring instinctual signals of danger. We pick up the danger signals from our parents, few children come out of childhood without taking on parental fears (fear of water from the parent that can't swim, or flying, or heights, or small spaces etc..), we can also pick them up by experience (falling off a bike might have someone who never rides again, being bitten by a dog might leave the fear of animal bites, etc..) and then it is mostly media where we obtain the remainder of the fears.

    Everywhere you look it is "The worst storm ever, see detail at 6", "It happened to me, It could happen to you, tune in at 11 or risk sure death", "Are marshmallows deadly to children? These parents warn others after their children died from this fluffy food, don't miss this vital information!" almost every show on TV, news, weather and talk shows are full of these dire warnings, fear tactics.

    The government has laws to keep us safe from ourselves and that shouldn't be their job but using fear factors they convince voters to agree with these laws.

    Yes we should stand up and say no more, but it should be to all of the mess and it is not likely to happen because so far what they all see is, it works it gets them just the results they want, people tune in, they buy the products they support the violence, they become afraid and let the government take control of their lives just so they can feel safe.

  4. There are so many contraditions in Paul it makes one wonder how many differant authors there are.

    considering first off that the books of the bible for the most part were written at the very least one hundred (many speculate up to three hundred) years AFTER Jesus died, and the apostles were grown men before jesus died, I would safely bet that Paul (if there was a Paul) wasn't t he author and in most cases it seems a collection of people would get together and put in all the fables and rules and word of God, editing and rewriting until all the information they wanted to include was there. Much of the information has been proved to be historically inaccurate.

    I think if people really lived life as described in the bible they would be superior people just that good old golden rule would be a change for the better, few believers actually follow all the teachings choosing instead to pick and choose what to follow and what to ignore as it fits what they want to be able to do in their lives and using the words to justify their actions.

  5. I don't normally like doctor shows (besides Scrubs), but my ex girlfriend turned me on to House and I love it. I don't care about the medical science hooblah (which my brother the RN loves) but it's House's personality that I find fantastic. It's much my like mine own (in real life). My friend constantly tells me never to become a doctor. :lol:

    I just love House

    and you do understand that he is really soft as a bunny inside, just with a hard crusty shell

    he cares for people, is in love with his ex-wife and even helped heal her new husband

    he really cares about all the people he cures even as he fear interacting with them or having them care for him or see his soft bunny insides.

    So when do we see your soft bunny insides LOL

  6. I see it a bit differently than most, although I think Crzyme has said it very well. To be honest, I was faced with virtually the identical situation about 2 years ago. My father passed and my family fits the dysfunction description perfectly.

    I have trouble with the word "should." I find it amazing how often that word, and a few others like can't and have to, define our choices regardless of whether it is healthy for us or not.

    I choose not to go to my father’s funeral. My grieving process was/is personal. My presence there would have poured fuel on the fire as you suggested yours would and I choose NOT to perpetuate pain, theirs or mine.

    There is not a whole lot I can do to change the situation, and believe me; I spent most of my youth and much of my young adult life trying. For their own reasons my family “chooses” to stay in the dysfunction and I don’t. I also don’t want that same pain and poison to touch my children either so I don’t take them around the family of my youth anymore either.

    My father knows my feelings, good and bad, without having to attend a rather hypocritical funeral. (Hold your own personal one if you truly desire a memorial. NO ONE says there can only be one.) If a situation is unhealthy for you and or your family, there really is no reason to stay in it except that dreaded word “should.”

    I have no regrets that I am not in touch with my family or that my kids don’t have relationships with their aunts and uncles because they are mean spirited people. We have a warm caring extended family here that would walk on broken glass or give up a kidney faster than any blood relative I have would, so we are just fine… In fact we are better than fine because we have broken that cycle of dysfunction.

    So my advice is for you to do what is right for you and your family, not what others tell you that you “should” do.

    I once had a wise person tell me "Don't should on yourself or others" and I still love that saying.

  7. I wish to share a few thoughts with those who are now, or have in the past, been in the same situation in which I now find myself, in the hopes that something in this may prove helpful to others..

    With the recent passing away of my father, I am once again haunted by old ghosts. However, as I am a minister now, I can no longer run from them. I am compelled to deal with them. A little background seems to be in order.

    I am a veteran of a chronic, dysfunctional family background, and of hard feelings that have gone on within my family for many years. I have been severely scarred emotionally by certain family members who have issues, real and imagined, that they impose on others (within the family), and because of their dysfunctional behavior, it impacts those of us who are trying to live the life we want, a life unfettered by this dysfunctionality.

    I promised myself a long time ago, that I was not going to sit still and let others continue to destroy my self-esteem. After many incidences in which I was summarily blamed for things I didn't do, have any control over, or in some cases, never even happened, I decided it was in my best interest, for my mental, emotional and physical well-being to remove myself from their influence. I moved far away and became estranged from the rest of my family for several decades, which in turn took that powerless feeling away. After a failed marriage, many failed relationships and numerous mis-adventures, I finally got my gray matter arranged correctly and began "packing the gear". I went back to school, worked hard and have became a respected contributor to my community.

    Now for the present. When I was notifed of my fathers passing, I had to communicate with my siblings, some who obviously still have personal issues with me, as well as my other brothers and sisters. There appears to be hard feelings all the way around. Not only have things not changed, they appear to have gotten worse.

    It saddens me greatly. This should be a time for healing. A time for all of us to come together. It should be a time for mending fences. We should be able to put aside our differences long enough to at least pay our respects to our father. I feel, as a minister and family member, that my duty should be to go to them and attempt to bring the family together. But I feel woefully inadequate to the task-at-hand. My previous attempts over the years were disasterous, to put it mildly. I feel like if I showed up for the funeral, it would simply be pouring gasoline on a fire.

    I find myself once again feeling like the little boy I was...when anything I did was wrong, and would result in immedeate physical punishment for no other offense but that of being born..............Hence my dilema.

    The only words of wisdom I can come up with at this time is in Luke 17, verses 3 and 4:

    "Take heed to yourselves. If thy brother trespass againt thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him."

    "And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying I repent; thou shalt forgive him."

    I have forgiven everyone for everything they have done to me, and I have repented of anything I might have done to anyone. I have attempted to communicate this on several occaisions over the years. But unfortunatly, it is a 2-way street. All parties have to be willing to do this, and it appears this may never happen.

    If you find yourself in a similar situation, all I can say is to look into your heart, as deep as it takes, and find a spot of forgiveness and understanding there. Work on it. You only have one family, and you are your brothers keeper (sisters, too...).

    "Judge not, that ye be not judged"

    "For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measure to you again." Matthew 7, verses 1 and 2, from the Sermon On The Mount.

    I am a believer in God but not the bible so I won't be giving you verses to read

    I will give you the view of a person who also lived the wars of childhood abuse.

    You do not come into this world with the freedom to choose into which family you land, your DNA does make you in part who you are as it does set your mental capacity, your height, eye color and if you will loose your hair among other things, your childhood sets how you react to things, how you interact with others and much more. As adults we can throw off the learned behavior as you have done and set off to be different people than how we were raised and we can move far away and cut the bonds that tied us to a past that was unhealthy for us so we can live happily and in peace.

    Many times we might be tempted to save others still in the middle of the war we left behind, but only they can choose to leave or to change.

    When family is a good thing it is a really good thing, a healthy wonderful comfortable place to grow from where roots can be deep and strong but sometimes that is not the family we are born to so we drift until we find our own place to be planted and we set roots, start our own family and begin from there with our chosen town, friends and loved ones to build that strong safe healthy place. What most don't get is that it is okay to let go of the bad past, including the people who made it so or continue to condone the wrong doings of the past.

    I grew up in abuse, but my children didn't and my grandchildren are not and we are a family without the ones who were not worthy of being in our family being invited in, they gave up rights to all of us with the choices they made, we don't miss them.

  8. Do you believe movies, (tv shows, etc...) should not be allowed to portray truth and/or fantasy? Have you ever been around while a movie is being made? Do you know many people are around, running cameras, sounds equipment, lights, directing, ready to redo makeup and hair, costume people as well as parents and child advocates when a child is involved? What you see in the final movie is far from the actual filming segments.

    well, I don't put to much stock in the child advocate in the film industry. At least, in the past, we have seen some pretty messed up child stars. But, you are correct that the process of filming is usually pretty abstracted from the subject being filmed. On the other hand, the wrong director ( I won't mention any names, but Hitchcock comes to mind) will play mind games on the actors to get results they want.

    Now this is true, about the way child stars of the past have been messed up.

    And I can also see how a director could say or do something to get the "raw" emotions to show on the film

    On that note you have adjusted my view (I love it when that happens) and I can say

    I do hope all precusions were taken for the mental as well as physical well being of this (and any) child actor while filming a horrific act.

  9. Do you believe movies, (tv shows, etc...) should not be allowed to portray truth and/or fantasy? Have you ever been around while a movie is being made? Do you know many people are around, running cameras, sounds equipment, lights, directing, ready to redo makeup and hair, costume people as well as parents and child advocates when a child is involved? What you see in the final movie is far from the actual filming segments.