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~ Dark and deep and slowly flowing

as tar from a wound

my thoughts are lost

I wonder if I've been heard

as I disintegrate

my life degrades

I wander toward a soft death

quiet as a shadow

my life is lost

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The dark night of the soul is real. So too is the dawn...

This is the hour

God loosens and empties.

Rushing, consciousness comes

unbidden, gasping,

and memory, wisdom, grace.

-Annie Dillard

_________________

Qryos,

Perhaps there is no balm that I can give, or medicine to cure your soul's ache. But if it is of any consolation I DO know your pain and struggle. While it may not be best for us to go into the sordid details, I want you to know that every spiritual leader from time immemorial has felt your struggle; St. John of the Cross & Mother Theresa come immediately to mind. And who could forget those words of Jesus from from the stake of crucifixion, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me...?"

He had only to rise three days later to know the ultimate provision of grace. Once upon a time, I subjected myself to service in the United States military. My constant prayer was that I kept waking up - tomorrow had to be better! Although I no longer subscribe to the doctrines of war, I continue to seek "awakening."

If it helps, please find HERE a meditation squence by Michael Gore entitled Sitting in the Dark. It helped me through some very dark times. May it also benefit you.

In blessing, Bless

Wayne

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:group:

My pleasure...All for love - Love for all!

Perhaps it was not that you "upset" anyone but rather that you gave us pause to think. For this we should be thankful.

Too often, christians put on a mask of perfection...at least I have.

God dwells in deep (thick) darkness as much as in unapproachable light. The dichotomy of this is one thing on an intellectual level but can be quite another on an experiential level. I am thankful that you have a safe place to vent yourself here. It makes me all the more willing to share. As a newbie - nothing could be more reassuring.

Yours, in peace, i remain

Wayne

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~ Ahhh Wayne, don't think of yourself as a 'newbie' anymore! You've shown in several posts a wise & caring person. Like it or not Hon, you're stuck! :lol: I want you to stay, so don't you go away.

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