Qryos Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 ~ No body's homeEmpty scattered windowsScarred and brittle doorsHollow weeping shadowsFragile torn-up floorsCorners holding darknessEchoes left behindWalls that keep in sadnessSo we are not remindedofEmpty scattered choicesScarred and brittle goalsHollow weeping voicesFragile torn-up souls... Any assistance would be much appreciated! Don't intend to annoy! Just a thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverend irma Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 That was beautifully poignant. Do you have a name for it? I would call it The cycle of despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted December 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 ~ Thank you Irma Just 'No body's home'... 'Cycle of Despair' fits also Our eldest child is {jeesh!} 30 years old now & been spending most of the last 10 in prison or crack houses & ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RevRainbow Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 Dear Q,I always enjoy your poetry and I feel the heaviness in your words. Would be that we could write of other things, like sealing wax and cabbages and kings.Peace.RR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Michael Sky Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 ~ No body's homeEmpty scattered windowsScarred and brittle doorsHollow weeping shadowsFragile torn-up floorsCorners holding darknessEchoes left behindWalls that keep in sadnessSo we are not remindedofEmpty scattered choicesScarred and brittle goalsHollow weeping voicesFragile torn-up souls... Any assistance would be much appreciated! Don't intend to annoy! Just a thought...I see levels of meaning in your words Qryos, Yet it feels as if there is something left unsaid. I like that, and I think your effort is greater for that trait... Well done ... the break in meter in at the end of the second stanza was an honest choice, we were warned of it's presence in the first, but it still made me stop and begin again... I feel that which you project - and that speaks of success in your intention... again, well done... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted December 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 25, 2010 ~ Rainbow... yes. ~ Thank you for understanding that Bro Sky I appreciate your opinion very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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