reverend irma

Thanks to all for your kindness and support. Kingfisher, that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I will pass this song along to my family in hope that it will comfort them as much as it has me.

So many times I have heard a news report of neighbors calling police because of a foul smell coming from an apartment and then a body is discovered. I have always wondered why some one wasn't alerted before the decomposition progressed to such an extent. Where was the decedant's family and friends? On the 25th of January, I received a call from my brother alerting me that my cousin had been found this way. His body was so badly decomposed that the coroner could not determine cause of death without an autopsy. My cousin, Dickie, named after his father, is the first born son of my mother's youngest sister, Mary. He was born in the same year my younger sister was born. We saw each other quite frequently through out our child hood as we lived in close proximity of each other. We spent all the holidays together. My sister went to school with Dickie, and we even stayed with his younger brother and sister when our Aunt Mary went out. We lost touch in our adult years, the last time I saw him was at my mother's wake in 2006. I have been so involved in my own life that I really haven't thought about him, until yesterday. The news of his death, compounded with the details of how he was found, has had a profound effect on me. I have been unable to think of anything else. I struggle to keep myself focused in the now, and yet I am flooded with memories as if I were a child again visiting my aunt Mary and cousins Dickie, Paul and Becky. I remember the outings to Hond Pond in Woburn, the summer barbacues by their pool, the holidays and the late night talks when we would all gather in the kitchen with coffee and cake...and I keep thinking, what, how, why? As if I cannot grasp the reality of the situation. I remind myself of my spiritual beliefs that death is merely a transition, but its a poor comfort that doesn't take the sting away from the image of my cousin laying dead in his apt for days before being discovered, or of his body in such an advanced state of decay an autopsy was required to determine the cause of his death. (Which has not been revealed to me). These are all practical and common procedures in such instances, but not in this case, in this case the decomposed body is my cousin, he has a name and a face and a personality and it suddenly doesn't seem so practical or common. It seems like I am in living in a night mare There is no church I go to, so I came here, to share my experience with you and ask for your healing thoughts on behalf of my aunt, uncle and cousins who must find some way of coping with this tragedy. In peace and faith, Irma

I don't know what is going on there. I haven't been here in a while. Do you miss her? I think you are getting paranoid.

Saying it does not make it so, does not make it false, either

I agree, but I have had days when everything seemed to go wrong, and I was on the receiving end of alot of negative energy. At a time like that, being treated with consideration by one passing stranger can make all the difference in the quality of the over all day. I consider that healing energy. It won't cure cancer, but it made the day better.

You have lost me completely here. I have been speaking about my journey, yes. but, I would be happy to listen as you discuss yours.

I will be 51 in March. For 50 years I have lived allowing my ego and automatic programming to lead me. I haven't cared if I hurt anyone's feelings as long as I spoke my truth. I fought every sacrifice I had to make, I resented and hated my fellow man to the extent that I would want certain members of the species dead. I think 50 years of living like that is enough. The goal I have in mind requires a 100% committment on my part. I cannot be a part time spiritualist. I wouldn't want to be. I enjoy the freedom too much. I understand the ad nauseum and laughed out loud when I read it. I know what it is to cling to our humanness when we perceive that that is all there is. Because I have experienced the infinity that waits beyond the human experience, I do not value the human experience as highly. Note I said I do not value THE human experience very highly. There are humans I value, however. (Just didn't want any confusion there.) Do you need a barf bag?

True, we all do this. Again, it is a human characteristic. But, on my journey I need to be mindful of the weight of my verdicts. Often I find I criticize others for things that I am guilty of myself. This isn't justice, in my mind, for if I cannot ween a particular inclination from my behavior, I have no right to judge another for the same inclination. In my mind, this makes understanding myself to be of paramount importance. For if I can understand myself, I may be that much closer to understanding you and (hopefully) that understanding will lead to peace.

I agree with you in your surmation of the "heal every heart" statement", I don't interpret it literally so much as philosophically. I am not capable of healing you, I can, however, assert myself to be mindful that I do not add injury to your wound. For instance, you and I are strangers. We know nothing about one another's hearts. You may be happy, or you could be in heartbreak. I don't know and it is not my place to know so the best way I can honor your feelings is to not cause you pain. In my mind it is like that saying, and I am probably misquoting but it goes something like this: smile at everyone, it may be the only smile they see today (?) and my smile may bring comfort. Or perhaps, by saying please and thank you, I have brought comfort into someone's heart and "healed it" just a little. In allowing another person to live their truth, I am honoring their truth. I don't have to take their truth as mine, I merely have to live and let live. In allowing another person to believe in their own God, I am honoring that God. It isn't adoring their God as we think of adoring, but it is also not maligning thier beliefs. It is accepting the right to individuality. When I see the statement "provide every person's need" I understand this as our need to be accepted too. I do not take it literally. To presume everyone's holiness, in my mind, is to acknowledge that we are equal in our relationships to our God(s). I am no more holy than you are. Produce every person's blessing is the easiest one for me. My interpretation of this is the same as "heal every heart". We all share the common need that we want to be loved. Even those who will defy this at the very least want to be recognized. Through the acceptance of others, I feel I recognize everyone, which I feel generates acceptance, which is translated to positive energy which is healing.