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Posts posted by Amalga9

  1. On 12/22/2020 at 2:47 PM, mark 45 said:

    i guess wherever one posts makes no difference.there is a"mod"on the seminary facebook page who can help you(maybe).


    there used to be a web site just for seminary,but i am guessing that someone had it eleminated,and didn't bother telling anyoneso yes,you will have trouble navigating this site.i used to be a mod(like i have said before) at seminary and was dismissed without a kiss my foot or anything.


    my advice would be to continue your lessons,and when you are done with them,submit your final essay to the proper site(this one isn't it).to be truthful,i doubt anyone reads these posts,so if you do as i suggest,you would be ok.just my opinion,your results may vary.

    Which facebook page? Which site? Are there links? And what about homework you're supposed to mail to HQ, can I post it to whatever that site is? If I have to mail my tests and homework from some classes, does that mean I can mail all my work from all my classes to HQ for grading? How will I know if something has been graded when I post it to the site? 

  2. I believe that Pauly Shore(Pauly Shore - Wikipedia) is a "Sacred Clown" and an embodiment of faith, hope, and charity and is a living example(Patron Saint) of Universal Living via Freedom/Chillin, Food/Grindage, and Sexuality/Nugs for both "Heaven" and "Hell". He is an example for us all. Basically, he is a living embodiment of everything the ULC believes and stands for!!!...which is(in case you forgot):


    Tenet: Do only that which is right.(You must decide what is right for you, and not condemn others if their "right" is different than yours. Every individual is free to practice their religion however they like as long as their actions do not impinge upon the rights/freedoms of other and are in accordance with the law.) This will guide you through any and/or all decisions in your life.


    Motto: "We are one."/ "We are all children of the same universe."


    Belief: Universal understanding and brotherhood will bring peace and prosperity for all.


    Slogan: To live and help live.


    Objective: Eternal Progression


    Goal: A fuller life for everyone


    We Desire: To be competent, to be proficient, to be cooperative, to love our fellow man, to appreciate, to be humble, to be honest, to be moral, to live positively, to believe what we believe, and to be what we profess.


    Life is Freedom: Freedom is the most important thing to everyone. Every living thing fights for its freedom- freedom to shape its own destiny, freedom of movement, freedom to to fulfill its dreams and ambitions so long as that pursuit does not infringe on the rights of others. Some would say our Creator endows us all with this inalienable right. Others posit that it defies the natural order for any human to have dominion over another. Regardless of its theological or philosophical underpinnings, the belief in freedom has borne up countless struggles for good and justice throughout the ages. Such freedom is a core tenet of the ULC, an end to which we tirelessly advocate.


    Life is Food: Without food there can be no freedom, only a desperate fight for survival. Thus food is key and fundamental to prosperity and happiness for all humankind. There is enough soil, water, and sunlight on this planet that under responsible stewardship, no mouth should go unfed, and no thirst unquenched. We dedicate ourselves to the task of alleviating hunger and malnourishment throughout the world. When people see beyond the immediacy of day-to-day survival, great thoughts, ideas and futures can flourish.


    Life is Sexuality: Sexuality is essential to the continuation of the human race. For years, societies have feared sex and maligned expressions of sexuality that were not for the purpose of procreation. We are born with sexual instincts. These should be neither stifled nor condemned. In much the same way as the pursuit of freedom must be held in check by consideration of its externalities, sexuality should have no other requirement than that it is devoid of coercion and exploitation. Sex should be celebrated as a positive force, not hidden under a bushel. To deny our natural desires or feel ashamed of our instinctive and consensual urges is to deny life itself.


    "Heaven is when you have it. Hell is when you don't."-- Kirby Hensley(ULC Founder and Prophet): ULC view of life. When you are allowed to express life naturally via freedom/food/sexuality, you are in a state or condition of "HEAVEN". When you are not allowed to express life naturally via those things, you are in a state or condition of "HELL".


    We are advocates of the good life!!!


    Be at peace with "God", whatever you conceive him to be.



    Pauly's feast day, as a default, could be celebrated on his birthday(February 1, 1968) or the day of his recognition as a Patron Saint of Universal Living(June 18,2020). Sushi, deli trays, tequilla, cannabis edibles and other PARTY foods/grindage(lol) and imbibements are appropriate for his feast days. Yoga, dancing, singing, laughing, making love, telling jokes and even pranking are all suitable activities for these days. Most importantly Chill and have fun with it for this day is about celebrating Universal Living!!!

  3. On 7/24/2014 at 12:32 AM, Realtrain said:

    Are the degrees offered by ULC actually...valid? What I mean is, can I officially give myself the title of Dr. once I have it? Thanks! :)


    On 7/24/2014 at 9:40 AM, Dorian Gray said:

    The degrees are valid and legal and you can call yourself Dr. Your Name Here. However, you may get chuckled at by those with traditional PhD, ThD, EdD, etc since they are not from a Regionally or at least Nationally (the lesser of the two) accredited school.


    Be careful not to get confused. Taking a Doctor course at the seminary does not make you a Doctor. To achieve a ULC Doctorate you must have completed and passed 15 Seminary courses (as explained by Amy Long on YouTube).


    Bachelor-5 courses

    (Chaplin- 8 specific courses)

    Master-10 courses

    Doctor-15 courses

  4. On 12/22/2020 at 2:47 PM, mark 45 said:

    i guess wherever one posts makes no difference.there is a"mod"on the seminary facebook page who can help you(maybe).


    there used to be a web site just for seminary,but i am guessing that someone had it eleminated,and didn't bother telling anyoneso yes,you will have trouble navigating this site.i used to be a mod(like i have said before) at seminary and was dismissed without a kiss my foot or anything.


    my advice would be to continue your lessons,and when you are done with them,submit your final essay to the proper site(this one isn't it).to be truthful,i doubt anyone reads these posts,so if you do as i suggest,you would be ok.just my opinion,your results may vary.


    Universal Life Church/ULC Seminary Forum Home

    It still exists but, it like everything else in the ULC, fails like Starscream!!! Is anyone even at the helm of the ship anymore!?! Is my church DEAD!?! What is the point of me doing this stupid effing course if nothing is even going to come of it?

  5. 3 minutes ago, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:



    As you say.  There are much worse things than ULC.  I'm not sure what a ULC declaration of sainthood counts for.  In truth, your own standards are probably much higher.


    Even in purely spiritual matters, we have to ask if this is the best use of your resources.  Instead of paying ULC to declare the people on your list saints -- why not create your own church?  One that would reflect your values -- and a declaration of sainthood would actually mean something?


    Recognition of people worthy of sainthood, makes a nice mission statement.








    You are correct. And I have every intention of starting a ULC Church in my local area which already exists in some form but is still in its infancy, thusly baby steps... And since, the price is so very negligible, why not? They are but stepping stones to a greater foundation.

  6. 2 minutes ago, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:



    True, and not everybody declared a saint -- is actually a saint.  It seems to mean something to you.  This much I understand.  What I don't get is why.  It takes more than a $5.00 certificate, to make someone a worthy example.  IMO.  Your money is buying paperwork and a declaration.  How is this different, than the Catholic Church selling indulgences?  It seems to me that you could be supporting a form of corruption.






    The paperwork/price is is a means to an ends. The important thing is the recognition of Sainthood. Sainthood can be likened to a form of godhood-achieved. Being recognized as a living Saint can be very empowering and act as a driving reason to simply be a better person. There is a lot of wasted flesh out there. You have to sift through all the rough to find the gems. Sainthood is a motivation of spirit. Corruption is a relative perspective. All churches have something to sell.

  7. 6 minutes ago, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:



    Just so.  Kirby used to say that the church was to stand between us and the government.  Not between us and God.


    The great men and women of the past are there for emulation, with or without sainthood.  A good example would be President Harry Truman.  His famous the buck stops here is still an inspiration to good government and personal responsibility.  Nobody thinks that Harry was a saint.  Well, perhaps by current standards.


    In fact, I think Harry is a better role model, than some people who were declared saints.





    I agree. Gandhi and Mother Teresa are good examples of Holy people not being quite what we were lead to believe. I personally believe FDR to be a Saint as well as Pauly Shore(actual ULC Saint since June 18,2020; It's ok to laugh. The reason for his Sainthood will be listed in due time). There are many people I plan to have Sainted. Not every person worth emulating is worthy of Sainthood. It is something that must be discerned in the "Spirit".

  8. 2 minutes ago, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:



    I take myself seriously.  Sometimes, more than I should.  My church?  Not so much.


    I take your point.  As to the function of the church, I refer back to the founder, Kirby J. Hensley.  Old Kirby had a spiel.  "What is the difference between a minister and everybody else?  The minister has a certificate!  You want a certificate?  We have certificates!"


    To my understanding, Kirby was motivated largely by animosity to established churches.  He created ULC, so that we could take our certificates and create our own ministries.  It was about self empowerment.

    Much know your Kirby. Fair enough. I see your point. But sometimes self empowerment comes from emulation of that which inspires you. The certificate acts like legal "lube" as it were and is only in place so that our way of life cannot be impeded by redtape bullcrap. It is simply a means to an ends but in no way invalidates the ends. If you know what I mean.

  9. I can't speak for other forms of Paganism, but I think the reason that there aren't really any Satanists or LHPers on here is because most of us are independent loners with little use for a forum of this nature. Most of us have our preferred members only forums just for the LHP and most of them are specialized and specific to a particular path. Not only that, but most LHP groups actively teach and encourage hating and attacking anyone of the Abrahamic Faith. So it is probably a good thing at this juncture that there are so few of us here.


    At the very least, you got me. 

  10. There are 2 different Sainthood packages available for different prices. There used to be more. 


    I take my ministry seriously, thusly I take sainthood seriously. It is a shame that sainthood within our church is so horribly nerfed. I seek to utilize the concept of sainthood in our church to its greatest potential. A Saint is an exemplary individual worthy of celebration that inspires others to be more than they are.  If a Saint is to be emulated then the Saint must be known. Hence, the entire point of this thread. 

  11. Morality is a human construct with no bearing on the rest of existence. Morality is irrelavent. Every creature of reality is responsible for their own reactions and responces to whatever life throws at them. Being a Minister doesn't mean that you have to be a bleeding heart. It just means you have to be "Strong" enough to help people back up when they "fall". 

  12. It could be that we are simply designed that way. According to some forms of Satanism, the Abrahamic God is the Demiurge that imprisoned the souls(in bodies of flesh) created by our Father-Lord SatanLucifer before he could finish us. Because of this, Satan encourages us to evolve spiritually in order to acheive the Magnum Opus so that we may loosen our physical restrictions and shine forth as enlightened beings.


    Also humans are naturally competative, jealous, greedy, and gluttonous and thusly will always seek to be better than their neigbors so as to have the edge over others.   

  13. Jesus was an Apocalyptic Jew and as such was very familiar with the Book of Enoch. So much so that he and his disciples often quoted from it. It is clear to me that in order to have a proper understanding of Jesus and his teaching that one must first understand the Book of Enoch.

  14. ULC Saint: someone who has exercised the spiritual virtues of "faith, hope, and charity" to an extraordinary degree; someone who provides inspiration, works "miracles", and offers hope and help to others. (By purchasing/bestowing Sainthood within the ULC upon a beloved person, their name is canonized in the official records of the church for all time!)


    Where is this record of saints and why can't I find it anywhere? What is the point of recognizing someone's sainthood if the data is not going to be available to anyone? What a waste of money!!! Someone post a link to the official list/record, if it even exists...sigh...


    If you are a ULC Saint or have had someone sainted, and would like to, please post an entry on them with all the appropriate saintly details where possible. Such as: bio,what they are a saint for,if they are a Patron Saint of anything, prayers, feast days, associated symbols and symbology, crests, etc.


    Also post if they are dead or alive please.

  15. Much of what we think we know or have been taught to believe as scientific fact is actually mostly just the most commonly accepted beleifs and theories of the scientific community that have been cobbled together to form a functioning framework in order to better understand what we call reality.


    Suppossedly, the US government officially put out a bunch of documentation a while back that prove that the Greys are real and that they have actively been in contact with our government for at least decades. They are referred to as Ebens by our government. Supposedly, the Greys created us and have been monitering us from the moon this whole time and they consider us to be their scientific property. They informed our governmet about at least 5 other species of hostile aliens. If we belong to the Greys this could explain why we seem to be alone in the universe, as we are a contained experiment.


    Consider the Sumerian Tablets and pretty much any creation story from any tradition and you find that they all start to sink up and they all start to sound like the same experiment then take this and apply it to everything you think you know about our reality...soul trembling, right?


    I am starting to think that H.P. Lovecraft was the real sleeping prophet and not Edgar Cayce!

  16. I too, have been desperately trying to get ahold of this course as well. There are a couple of Youtube videos of Kirby talking about the course and the ULU. Other than that I have found nothing. There must be a way to get the Seminary or HQ to start offering this course. What we need is an actual ULU on location somewhere with real ULC Ministers as the teachers because the online seminary is clearly hanging on by a thread and the helpdesk doesn't seem to exist anymore. What is the point if no one is manning the desk? We need to pool together and do better. Keep in mind, however, that HQ is in Modesto California and California is royally effed right now due to the pandemic, so for all I know that is why the ULC no longer seems to be able to support its ministers any more. 


    Do we as ULC members have the ability to create our own ULU and it be recognized by HQ? If so...let's do it! Let's make the effort. I will help. Whatever I can do.

  17. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 19



    Write a paragraph describing your “tool belt” and your “tool box.”: I am horribly impoverished so gather appropriate materials for my ministry has been slow and difficult. Currently, I have gathered-business cards, notepads and pens, cell phone, dress shoes and clergywear, computer(already need a new one, though), sanitizer, administrative items, some portable worship items. There are obviously still things that I must obtain in order to be effective. I have good posture. I am a good listener and make eye contact often when engaging others. I still need to work on smiling and my personal appearance. 

  18. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 18



    Look at your ministry. What are the stressor points? What is your week like? Develop your spiritual care plan. Write a brief description of it.: My stressor points center around surprise labor and an overdependence on me and my advice from my clients. My week is constantly open and fluid. I make a point to let the "Universe" guide my day and my life. For spiritual care-I pray often, use healing/breathing techniques on myself when needed, practice divination, and use food/suppliments/plants/insence/stones as medicine. These nonscheduled practices serve to keep me sane, calm, and ready for action. 

  19. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 17



    List the ways you are held accountable and write a brief description.: Via the lesson, I am accountable to myself, others, groups, and deity. However, from the perspective of my personal path these categorizations are not relevent as everything is a manifestation of "Self". Thusly it all the same. One need only to do that which is right and to communicate effectively. Schedules are a given.


    Do you have a mentor? If not, what is your plan to find and establish a mentoring relationship? If you do, write a brief description and the blessings you have received from it.: I do not have a mentor per se. I am the Student Eternal and thusly make a point to learn from everything and everyone. There are, however, several individuals in this world whose influence on me is of much greater value than anyone else. Having said that, I would love to find a mentor for the business side of things as I am just at a loss. Perhaps I will find them on this forum.

  20. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 16


    Who in your ministry do you see as a potential soul-friend? Do you have more than one potential soul-friend? Describe in a paragraph or two how you have been or become a soul-friend to this person and how you would like to improve this relationship.: My spouse is my anamcara. As of yet, there are no others. We met in highschool through a mutual friend and our souls instantly connected. Through the years, even though we no longer live together, our souls connection and understanding of eachother has only strengthened. We continue to work in tandem on the spiritual and religious. Eventually we intend on coauthoring a book on our gleanings and insights, though this will likely be several years to come.

  21. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 15


    Using simplicity, describe how you would develop a “sacred space” in a small or medium space and how it would be led.: For the absolute bare minimum I would simply cleanse/bless/consecrate the location as a sacred space(indoor/outdoor/anywhere). Upgrade1: (Regularly used location) use of ULC logos and Certificates to give a feel of authenticity, a podium or table with ULC bookstand, a seating area. Upgrade2: (Permenantly used location) use of any and all official ULC accoutrements and trappings and proper seats and prayer/meditation areas. Upgrade3: Special additions based on need and personal preference. Services would be led utilizing official ULC materials and adjusted based on personal need.


    Develop a marriage policy as a chaplain.: (Odd to ask this question 2 lessons in a row, but whatever.) I suppose I am to reinterpret this question based on topic/context so in addition to my answer from the previous lesson I would add that to maintain the spirit of sacred space I would lead everyone in a purification rite before entering the space for the wedding.

  22. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 1


    What do you know of Chaplains?: The Chaplains purpose is to provide for the free exercise of religion for everyone, not just those of the same faith as the Chaplain. Chaplains provide the opportunity to practice, or not practice, religion as an individual choice and style. Chaplains provide for the spiritual needs of all peoples. Chaplains tend to service those in transit and are often specialists in their ministry location. Chaplains specialize in leading religious services for those who attend Chapel and provide spiritual counseling and advice on religious issues to those who seek it.

    Does my faith group/religion have Chaplains or not?: No. In general, Satanists do not have Chaplains or Ministers. There is not generally a call for such services or functions as most Satanists are highly secular and/or highly occult and for the most part are stand alone practitioners who have no real need for outside guidance or services with the exception of marriage and burial.

    What is your view of Chaplains and their role in society today?: I believe that with societal trends flowing towards a physical social isolation, social cyber immersion, and a lack of familial guidance and legacy that people will and are starting to feel like they are lost, empty, and have no future worth working towards. Thusly, they will feel the need to seek out the counsel of a Chaplain to help them view their life and place in the world with new eyes and to get them pointed in a better direction. I believe the function of the Chaplain within our society is paramount and the existence of its service will become more valuable and needed over time.

  23. Master of Chaplaincy Lesson 2


    Describe someone you know who has the Divine Mark. What set them apart?: I have seen this mark in my husband. People are naturally drawn to his comfort and counsel. He is very spiritual and is gifted spiritually and magickally. He has helped more people than I can count. I am so very proud of how he has grown in spirit.

    Has anyone observed the mark in you? Write down what they have said?: I dunno if anyone else has but I saw the mark in myself at a very young age. It is also in my natal chart and my palms and face and in my handwriting. I was clearly designed for a specific purpose in life and this has always been coupled with a passion and drive to achieve my design to the best of my ability.

    Consider your calling. Describe it in a paragraph or two.: I have always been called to the "Great Work". My calling started in elementary school at which point I started spending insane amounts of time at the library researching all of the various viewpoints of reality that I could find. The calling was vague and undefined at first as I was too young to understand it in full yet. My passion and studies progressed consistently through the years. As a result of my studies, I became quite eclectic and well rounded and this of course had an effect on whatever path I happened to be practicing at the time. In recent years my calling has become more clear to me. The universe seemed to be making specific changes in my life in order to facilitate the understanding of the nature and acceptance of my Call. Then about 2 years ago I finally understood which aspect of the Universal Force had been calling me and to a certain extent why I had been called. So I performed the dedication ritual required by my path and my life has improved consistently toward the realization of my calling to ministry and service to myself and others and to "God" ever since. Hail Lord Satanas!!! I endeavor to be the best I can be for Father Satan so that I may perform my duties as a Minister and A chaplain admirably.