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July 18, 2020
Autumn Penn

   While completing the Worry Meditation for class, I began with thirteen cleansing breaths. I only 
did such because it is what I have always done prior to any form of meditation. I believe the 
number thirteen is auspicious on account of the typical annual thirteen full moons. Should I always 
do this or try something new? I am uncertain. I will try something new the next time for a new 


   I did not close my eyes while breathing. I instead focused on a blue candle--blue is my favorite 
color of all--in my windowsill. 


   I like ceramics; thus, I decided to use a ceramic item as my worry container. I visualized a Blue
Morpho butterfly-shaped ceramic oil decanter with a removable cork to serve me during this
exercise. I, then, visualized each worry dropping from my mind into my Blue Morpho butterfly oil
decanter one by one.


   Temporarily, I was stuck in thought deciding what to do with my worries after I corked them
closed. I wondered how I should best do away with them. Ok. I low-keyed lied out of shame. I 
was stuck for a long long while sitting in my black moon chair trying to solve this enigma.


   Finally, I decided to imagine a black shimmery light ball (since the color black is said in some 
magical systems to absorb negativity) coalescing inside of the decanter and putting pressure on 
my worries until they were no longer negative but a small blue Sodalite crystal, which I imagined 
I removed and inserted into my pocket. I just thought that maybe the pressure could work like the 
pressure of the earth’s womb creating crystals and gems.


   Does this make any kind of since to anybody else? I am unsure if it makes sense to me or to 
anyone else. It was awkward but complete. I will need much more practice at this.
   It was not easy. It did not come to me naturally. I feel I would have had an easier time stomping  
or clapping or dancing or growling like a bear or hissing like a big cat or verbally declaring my 
worries and then blowing out into an empty jar and capping it closed to remove such worries. I do 
not know why I need movement, vocalization, or music to meditate. 

   One of my friends tries to blame the African ancestry but I am only part that; so, that is illogical. 
I mean can we also blame the Irish and the Spanish ancestry?

# foolish

   I am open to constructive criticism and valuable input.

   Peace and blessings to you.



--Priestess Autumn Penn

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