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VonNoble

When the budget is tight .....ya wish others would.....

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Coming from a rather large family (or at least large for the income my folks had to work with)  - the holidays were sort of stressful.  We KNEW not to ask Santa for anything over $10....

 

Once my mother got a post-holiday thank you note for the lovely inclusion of $20 in the box of chocolate covered cherries she gave to one of dad's co-workers.  Two problems.    The box of candy was a re-gift - they had no money to buy gifts for co-workers and they scrambled when someone came to the door and mom...just took a gift she had received (the candy) and re-wrapped it to cover the moment.   Probably because they could not afford to give anything - giving something was important to her - I guess.    She would not have felt that way later in life I am sure but she was a young mother trying to do too much with too little

 

We would have loved the candy.  She needed the twenty bucks she did not know was in the bottom layer of the box.   She was saving it and never looked beyond it was the best treat that could have been for us....so she gave it away in a moment's haste and later regretted it big time. 

 

How do you feel about re-gifting if the gift is new - nice - and something you will NEVER use?  What is you know someone who would really, really LOVE it...okay to let them have it ?   Tell them it is a regift?   Wrap and save yourself money?    The money you saved then becomes your gift?     

 

How do you feel about people giving you gifts that require you spend more money?   A painting that you might well WANT to select a frame matching your taste ...but there is no money to buy frames so it sits in the closet?    Some sort of coupon book that only works if you spend money to go out to eat...the savings is great - if you have the funds to begin with.....  Plants that need watering when you travel?  Of heaven forbid surprising you with a puppy? 

 

When you are low on funds......(like broke) .....what would you like OTHERS consider for your holiday happiness?

 

von

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6 minutes ago, VonNoble said:

When you are low on funds......(like broke) .....what would you like OTHERS consider for your holiday happiness?

Honestly? Just leave me out of it. Giving a gift to someone who cannot reciprocate is almost a hostile act. Moreso when the gift is given to celebrate a holiday the other party does not celebrate. It puts them in a very uncomfortable position.

There are some fairly obvious exceptions, though. Among family and friends where sharing and free exchange are common, for example...

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I remember when I was a kid we used to get together at my Aunt's house every Christmas.  We had a secret Santa thing that we pulled names for on Thanksgiving, which my Aunt also hosted, and man did she put on a huge dinner spread to perfection(in my mind at least).  

One year in particular, I pulled my Uncle's name, her husband at the time.  Now, he owned an excavation company and they lived sort of in the middle of no where three or four miles away from Bald Knob cross in Alto Pass, Illinois.  I stayed with them summers at a time, they had a large farm with lots of neat excavation equipment and two cousins close to my age, three and four wheelers, fireworks usually, you know...about perfect for the ten year old kid.  But so far as what my Uncle liked, I had not a clue.  The man worked from sun up to down, left everything house related to my Aunt to do, and stayed in their bedroom during the time they were awake.  I just didn't know at the time how unusual that sounded, but I wanted to impress with the gift I gave.  My mom took me out and about, looking all over.  I knew he wore flannel shirts, but no clue as to the size.  So I picked up what I thought was a fairly universal gift, something that pretty much anybody could use.  Flashlights.  I got a decent set of flashlights for him, wrapped it up.  I don't quite know why that particular Christmas gift seemed so important to me, I really don't.  

We sat on Christmas, opening gifts, and I was more anxious to see him open it and be happy than anything.  He opened it, said "I don't need flashlights, here, you want em?" and immediately passed them off to the next person.

 

Looking back on it, I realize it wasn't that big a deal except in the build up of my own ten year old mind.  But since that happened, and since I felt pretty lousy about the outcome, I have never regifted anything.  I have always at the least pretended to like what I received.  I have received regifted items, and it never bothers me in the least that someone gives me something they didn't want.  I know, it's sort of contradictory.  That's human, I guess.  I don't even mind receiving used gifts when they are obviously used.  As a child, I always took to heart the adults in my life saying, it's the thought that counts.  And I truly believe that now.  If my wife took the time to think about what I like, really thought about me as a person, and came to the wrong conclusion, I would be happier than if she had just hurried up and picked out something that turned out to be just what I wanted by mistake.

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i tell people the truth.if i need something(or want it bad enough),i will get it.i do appreciate their thought but i would rather they spend their money on someone else.if it's a regift,or used,well,they did think of me.we have had a neighbor who did that(and we gave them homemade cheese cake,sugar free,each year).i miss the kids mostly,but the parents were real nice.

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