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VonNoble

Holiday grab bag.....

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I am going to propose a series of topics....and separate them so the post is not too lengthy. 

Please feel free to pick and choose as your individual convictions, belief system or opinion warrants.

 

Grab Bag topic:    Gift giving......something you do for others or the truth be told something we most often do for ourselves?

 

...thoughts to consider...if it is FOR them....why put a name tag on the gift......they love it just as much if Santa brought it, no?

....because THEY need to thank someone...or because you want credit for giving it?

....do you ever find yourself taking the spotlight telling everyone the great lengths to which you went to find this perfect gift?

....is it just fun as heck to tell everyone the GREAT bargain price you scooped this thing up for?  

 

Just a kick start string of ideas about gift giving.....

 

von

 

 

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I do not normally participate in holiday gift exchanges. I get my sister a yearly Kwanzaa gift, mostly because the wrapping paper and card annoy her almost as much as the Christmas ones she sends annoy me.

I love giving birthday presents, though. I see them as a chance to show someone that I value them, and to encourage them to celebrate themself. It also gives me a chance to see how well I really know them. I firmly believe the ideal gift for you is something you want, but something you would never buy for yourself. When I hit that mark just right, it just makes me proud, you know?

Edited by mererdog

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christmas is *not*one of my holidays i celebrate(but any holiday that involves food i am good with :)).i do however like giving presents to my sisters(and my sister in law),and my nieces and great nieces.it isn't a lot,but they seem to like it.that and it's my husbands favorite thing to do.same for birthdays.

 

as for myself,i buy what i need if i need it(or really think i do),so i really don't want presents.cards are cool tho.

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On 11/16/2017 at 12:40 PM, mererdog said:

I do not normally participate in holiday gift exchanges. I get my sister a yearly Kwanzaa gift, mostly because the wrapping paper and card annoy her almost as much as the Christmas ones she sends annoy me.

 Beyond, "thank you" - I am always at a loss when I receive gifts that are often annoying. I guess "thank you" is all that is required

but that seems to open the door to them doing this a second time. ...or them standing there 1) waiting to be invited in   2) waiting for a return gift even though most know we don't do that - there is this long awkward moment  3) waiting for me to say more than thank you

 

I am just at a loss each year how to handle such things.   I am pretty sure I am really bad at it.   

 

Example:  Someone brought me a lovely EXTREMELY LARGE wreath.  They cut the pine from high in the mountain, bent it over a frame by hand.....added lovely ornaments and hauled it unexpectedly to my home as a gift.   It is hand made - thoughtful and there is no denying they intended it to be a very nice thing.   IN TRUTH......I had to go buy a mister (as I was instructed it needs to be misted) - I had to go buy an over the door hanger (wasn't expecting it) .....It is oversized for our door - very heavy ..It was a very nice thing to do (thankfully I am not allergic to pine)......but it required me to go forth and do some more stuff to enjoy it.   I think the wreath is nice.  I just never wanted such a thing and I am not thrilled by it.......they did go to a lot of work and tried to do a nice thing.   It is not something i would want them to do a second time.    I am clueless how to be decent and not invite more of the same in the future all at the same time.  Thank you seems to be a green light to keep doing stuff.

 

Example:  knowing I battle with my weight.....big time....with the doctor trying to fix some broken systems that regulate metabolism...and knowing that diabetes is also an issue in this house - last night, someone who also knows the medical issues (she is a nurse) and knows we do not do gift giving for the holidays - brought us an enormous box of very expensive chocolates.    it is a very high quality gift - but I struggle to appreciate any part of the gesture.   Well  more plainly put I did not appreciate it at all.   I said "thank you " as I refused to blow my stack but underneath that, frustration was welling up in me.    NOT a fa la la moment.   

 

Example:  Someone gave the brat (and I do mean BRAT) next door a puppy.   (I enjoy children and over time we will become friends but currently he is clearly A BRAT)       The family just moved into the house - have not had a chance to unpack most of their boxes and I seriously doubt they wanted a puppy before they got settled in.   The kid runs wild .....throws stones at animals....and is loud and big for his age.....and I don't think a fragile puppy was a great idea.    This "gift" now requires the family to shell out lots more money.....assume a change of schedule to care for a living thing etc.  and they were clearly surprised. They did NOT expect this puppy as a gift.      Iit is NONE of my business thus far.   But if I hear that dog out there crying  in freezing temps which are upon us.....or see it abused it will become my business. 

 

I know - you know - kindness need not be thing-based.   Frustration with this gift giving mess has baffled me for years.   I don't get it. 

And because I don't - I am always clumsy handling this time of year. 

 

I AGREE with you re: the rare moments when you find exactly the right gift is special.    And you KNOW it.  And SEE it. 

Both people are happy with the exchange.  i don't see that much and surely DO NOT experience it much. 

I am flummoxed on how to handle the other kind of thing. 

 

It seems like one big long gripe here - and it might be a vent - but too - I really just do NOT know how to handle it....and it is falling on me this year to be the "front" person far more than usual.    I used to just hide ....and go get everyone a drink. ^_^

This year I have to be the door opener and greeter....I am very uncomfortable - there must be some secret way to deal with it I never learned.    So all I have is a tacit, "thank you" .....mostly I am not inviting them in and it is just not good.   There more than a week more of this coming at me......:giveup:

 

von

 

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2 hours ago, VonNoble said:

 Beyond, "thank you" - I am always at a loss when I receive gifts that are often annoying. I guess "thank you" is all that is required

but that seems to open the door to them doing this a second time. ...or them standing there 1) waiting to be invited in   2) waiting for a return gift even though most know we don't do that - there is this long awkward moment  3) waiting for me to say more than thank you

 

I am just at a loss each year how to handle such things.   I am pretty sure I am really bad at it.   

 

Example:  Someone brought me a lovely EXTREMELY LARGE wreath.  They cut the pine from high in the mountain, bent it over a frame by hand.....added lovely ornaments and hauled it unexpectedly to my home as a gift.   It is hand made - thoughtful and there is no denying they intended it to be a very nice thing.   IN TRUTH......I had to go buy a mister (as I was instructed it needs to be misted) - I had to go buy an over the door hanger (wasn't expecting it) .....It is oversized for our door - very heavy ..It was a very nice thing to do (thankfully I am not allergic to pine)......but it required me to go forth and do some more stuff to enjoy it.   I think the wreath is nice.  I just never wanted such a thing and I am not thrilled by it.......they did go to a lot of work and tried to do a nice thing.   It is not something i would want them to do a second time.    I am clueless how to be decent and not invite more of the same in the future all at the same time.  Thank you seems to be a green light to keep doing stuff.

 

Example:  knowing I battle with my weight.....big time....with the doctor trying to fix some broken systems that regulate metabolism...and knowing that diabetes is also an issue in this house - last night, someone who also knows the medical issues (she is a nurse) and knows we do not do gift giving for the holidays - brought us an enormous box of very expensive chocolates.    it is a very high quality gift - but I struggle to appreciate any part of the gesture.   Well  more plainly put I did not appreciate it at all.   I said "thank you " as I refused to blow my stack but underneath that, frustration was welling up in me.    NOT a fa la la moment.   

 

Example:  Someone gave the brat (and I do mean BRAT) next door a puppy.   (I enjoy children and over time we will become friends but currently he is clearly A BRAT)       The family just moved into the house - have not had a chance to unpack most of their boxes and I seriously doubt they wanted a puppy before they got settled in.   The kid runs wild .....throws stones at animals....and is loud and big for his age.....and I don't think a fragile puppy was a great idea.    This "gift" now requires the family to shell out lots more money.....assume a change of schedule to care for a living thing etc.  and they were clearly surprised. They did NOT expect this puppy as a gift.      Iit is NONE of my business thus far.   But if I hear that dog out there crying  in freezing temps which are upon us.....or see it abused it will become my business. 

 

I know - you know - kindness need not be thing-based.   Frustration with this gift giving mess has baffled me for years.   I don't get it. 

And because I don't - I am always clumsy handling this time of year. 

 

I AGREE with you re: the rare moments when you find exactly the right gift is special.    And you KNOW it.  And SEE it. 

Both people are happy with the exchange.  i don't see that much and surely DO NOT experience it much. 

I am flummoxed on how to handle the other kind of thing. 

 

It seems like one big long gripe here - and it might be a vent - but too - I really just do NOT know how to handle it....and it is falling on me this year to be the "front" person far more than usual.    I used to just hide ....and go get everyone a drink. ^_^

This year I have to be the door opener and greeter....I am very uncomfortable - there must be some secret way to deal with it I never learned.    So all I have is a tacit, "thank you" .....mostly I am not inviting them in and it is just not good.   There more than a week more of this coming at me......:giveup:

 

von

 

When someone gives you something, a Christmas gift, a bag of groceries, an ugly painting or anything, anytime of year or for any reasons, the gift becomes your property and you may use it or dispose of it to suit yourself. There should be no angst. A simple thank you should work just fine. If the giver were to ask about it later, you should tell them the truth. Perhaps you regifted, perhaps it had an accident when you tripped and it fell into the trash can. Perhaps you could tell them, "You know, I am diabetic so I gave the box of expensive candy to the brat next door. If they don't ask, don't worry.

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