VonNoble

Forgiveness is necessary?

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5 hours ago, VonNoble said:

 

:kiss:... perhaps as there is truth in that..

But also not

 

Some members of my family have not spoken for years at a time.   Some if my in-laws are still not speaking.    Over our 45 year marriage both of us have served as peacemaker and negotiator to family enemies.   Often a condition of ever coming to the table to discuss it is a demand from someone that they hear an apology

 

For your own sanity sometimes it is smarter to just walk away from the most toxic members.    But sadly too, years are lost over a simple misunderstanding.     Getting either side to listen can be next to impossible with a simple I am sorry as the key to fixing it.    

 

Sadly it it has happened that family members die sure the are right.... and die alone because of the need to be right 

von

I was living in Southern Illinois still, but in a different area of Southern Illinois than I did for most of my life.  I moved away from the home area briefly.  Well, I wanted to move back.  I worked at Walmart, so a transfer was easy.  My Dad, I talked off and on to him over the years.  Earlier in life we had difficulties, but since having kids I had spoken with him more and more and gotten along all right.  He offered to put me up in his spare house that he usually rented out, said he had evicted the renters for not paying and didn't want the place to sit empty.  I agreed, unfortunately.  

He came to Waterloo Illinois and helped us load up the trailer with our stuff.  We had put in notice with the landlord, gotten everything on the leaving end squared away.  Got to his place, and it wasn't empty...he said he was in the process of evicting the tenants and they would be out by the end of the month.  

Now a little back ground.  I have a daughter who at the time was diagnosed with hydrocephalus and had to have brain surgery.  This is about a week after moving me and the family of five into two guest bedrooms in a double wide trailer.  A week after that, my Dad flies off the handle about something my significant other at the time did and shoved her down.  I wasn't a pacifist at that moment, which I regret.  We were thrown out of his house one week after my daughter had brain surgery and two weeks before Christmas.  

I didn't talk to him again.

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1 hour ago, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:

 

 

Interesting perspective.  When I was 21, my parents divorced.  It had been a miserable marriage and a wretched divorce.  I sided with my mother.  My father's extended family -- my loving family -- exiled me.

 

Screw them all.  It's better to be alone, than to be with them.

 

:mellow:

 

6 hours ago, VonNoble said:

For your own sanity sometimes it is smarter to just walk away from the most toxic members.    

 

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1 hour ago, cuchulain said:

 We were thrown out of his house one week after my daughter had brain surgery and two weeks before Christmas.  

I didn't talk to him again.

 

Again.....for your own sanity  - sometimes it is smarter (and in this case way better) to get away from the most toxic members of our families.

I cannot begin to fully appreciate the horror of all of this.   I am sorry it happened.  No matter the circumstance.  I am sorry.    BTW, how is your daughter today? 

 

von

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3 hours ago, cuchulain said:

She's good.  Everything went well, I suppose it's a fairly common surgery.  

:thumbu:

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On 10/23/2017 at 2:15 PM, Jonathan H. B. Lobl said:

 

They walked away from me.  All of them.  Just lucky, I guess.

 

:mellow:

 

ya know....I have found that to be VERY true.....good for you for 

seeing it for what it is....

 

 

von

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39 minutes ago, VonNoble said:

 

ya know....I have found that to be VERY true.....good for you for 

seeing it for what it is....

 

 

von

 

Life is odd.  Sometimes, evil gets up and walks away.  Let it go.  

 

:mellow:

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