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~ Oh, if you insist Dabby-Darling :wub:

shadow-limned hills

snowy sunset defined

softly grey

above jade waves

timelessly graceful

pelicans soar

an early frost

cherry-tree petals fade

to fall away

... I still can write American Haiku, y'know ^_^

Glad to see Dabby

Playing with his poetry

Missed his art and smile!

It's fun to rhyme too

With American Haiku...

So syllabic, true

Yet playing with words

Is so much fun it's absurd

The joy that is heard

{Yes, I'm a goof-ball

quite frequently too silly...

I just like to play :P }

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Guest SifuPhil

Snow whispers on glass

Cozy in my library

Fireplace dancing

Looking back at this one now, in light of Qryos' elucidation of Haiku rules, I see that I made a boo-boo. Specifically, 2nd line.

Thanks, m'lady!

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~ Oh Phil... That's lovely!

& if ya call it Senryu it's fine ^_^

{Senryu is subjective haiku-type poetry B) }

... If you'd like, I can help ya haiku-way tho' :wub:

Snow whispers on glass

Cozy in my library

Fireplace dancing

... Perhaps?

cozy library

fireplace dancing

snow whispers

... I know it's very abbreviated, but most haiku is.

{Oh, & haiku has no capitalized letters...

DAMMM I sound like a neurotic bitch!

Please feel free to ignore everything I say!!!}

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Guest SifuPhil
~ Oh Phil... That's lovely!

& if ya call it Senryu it's fine  ^_^

{Senryu is subjective haiku-type poetry  B) }

... If you'd like, I can help ya haiku-way tho' :wub:

Snow whispers on glass

Cozy in my library

Fireplace dancing

... Perhaps?

cozy library

fireplace dancing

snow whispers

... I know it's very abbreviated, but most haiku is.

{Oh, & haiku has no capitalized letters...

DAMMM I sound like a neurotic bitch!

Please feel free to ignore everything I say!!!}

To the contrary-

I'm never too old (perhaps too stubborn) to learn. Thank you again!

Maybe it's this Chinese mindset I have - hard to digest Japanese thought patterns :lol:

...or maybe it's just the Western stand-up comedian in me...or the frustrated writer - I'm just getting used to "coloring up" my lines ^_^

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~ Oh KAYYY!!! Ya wanna play? :D

Phil is too Chinese

To speak as the Japanese

So he will do these

Western-type Haiku

'coloring-up' what a few

simpler words could do

I'm sure that he knows

It's only hot air that blows

From old Claire's bellows!

It's a comic's stance

That creates this sad clowns dance

For a smile perchance

Please try to forgive

The obnoxiousness I give

With a poets shiv ;)

... Sorry...

Sometimes I'm just an evil evil person :rolleyes: B)

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Guest SifuPhil

She DOES make Mother Theresa look like a thug, doesn't she? :blush:

Chinese, Japanese,

I'm too Americaneze

Right down to my knees

The breath of hot air

To be real honest and fair

Does not come from Claire

A comical stance

Is where Sifu starts to dance

And then drops his pants

Since my brain's a sieve

And you suffer me to live

I'll dive on your shiv

So here's my main thrust

In Claire's words I give my trust

But my brain is rust

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~ OH! If I could cuss in this section you'd be getting it baaad!!! <_<

{Comparing me to... you are botha a bunch of POOOPS!!! :wacko: }

So you say I'm nice

I even got told it twice!

Yeah right, I'm a saint?

Don't you try to taint

My Self with your pretty paint

I still have my vice :P B) :D

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Guest SifuPhil

Did she just refer to us as defecatory objects?!?

She still has her vice

Main among them - she's nice

Now she's in a faint

'Cause her Self we did paint

What made her consternate

Was putting her nice vice on ice

(Oh, OK, so it isn't Haiku, or Tonka, or Selma, or whatever - so sue me! :lol: )

Edited by SifuPhil
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Not meaning to carp,

I'm not fishing for a harp!

And I'm not that sharp.

{~ Shame! Shame! I know, that was awful :rolleyes: }

~ O.K., back to ???

Silver by the fire

The river passes silent

I see your outline

{American Haiku...

Japanese?... a Senryu B) maybe...

I'm just a student as is everyone else!}

~ P.S. Phil... that was coool! ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest JohnnyBee

Dusk, shadows, all still

whispered breezes through the trees

now comes the hunter

or, if you prefer more symolic,

Old house stands alone

empty hearth, untended yard

waiting for someone

JH

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Dusk, shadows, all still

whispered breezes through the trees

now comes the hunter

or, if you prefer more symolic,

Old house stands alone

empty hearth, untended yard

waiting for someone

JH

This is very good, JohnnyBee. But I don't see it as either/or, I see it as both/and. If it were mine to play with, I would join the two either as:

Dusk, shadows, all still

whispered breezes through the trees

now comes the hunter

Old house stands alone

empty hearth, untended yard

waiting for someone

Which is still a little abstract, but tells a story.

Or you could reverse the order of the stanzas:

Old house stands alone

empty hearth, untended yard

waiting for someone

Dusk, shadows, all still

whispered breezes through the trees

now comes the hunter

And you have the introduction to an epic.

Anyway, it is not mine to play with.

Did I mention how much I like this? :D

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Guest JohnnyBee

I'd never read them reversed that way, I like it too. between the two of us, we could rule the WORLD!!!

oh, okay, that might have been a bit carried away, but I like the look of that. thank you for your comments.

Interpretation

Sees meaning beyond the words

Old thoughts gain new life

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"Interpretation

Sees meaning beyond the words

Old thoughts gain new life

Old thoughts gain new life

Sees meaning beyond the words

Interpretation"

- JohnnyBee

~ I call it 'Mirror Haiku' & find it a very cool usage of the form :D

Shivering moon-light

Shattered by the broken tree

Silver-lined river

Silver-lined river

Shattered by the broken tree

Shivering moon-light

~ I just enjoy it, y'know? Turning things up-side-down & side-ways is my speciality B)

When the wind changes

The young blossoms dance away

Early Spring is cruel

Early Spring is cruel

The young blossoms dance away

When the wind changes

Edited by Qryos
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an owl calls away

the moon falling in the lake

shimmering star lit

~ That's an experimental run-on type.

I like it whether it's 'right' or not...

fat frog's summer song

creaky as this old wood chair

we're just as lazy

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Been gone a long time.

Posting total never changed.

Glad now to be back.

Working on a site

For my new business venture

Has kept me away.

Now reconnecting,

Though many don't remember

Who or what I am.

I visit rarely.

Used to post a lot each day.

Now, just a trickle.

Missed you very much,

Especially Connie.

Should spend more time here.

Some may have no joy

At my return to this place,

But that matters not.

To renew the old,

Love must be fundamental,

Friend and foe alike.

Pardon me, while I retch at this drivel of mine...

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