Houseguests


grateful
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I love my friends and family. I enjoy their company and am grateful each is in my life.

as with family, so with friends; there is a continuum on which these relationships lie. easiest to hardest, most fun to find a way to have fun, ones who'd bitch if their ice cream is cold versus those who always make lemonade out of lemons. my houseguest was the former. pick up at sfo had me approach only to realize she was in a shouting match with an attendant. oh dear, it was going to be a long week..

we moved house on april 1st, with our own dog and three visitor dogs in tow. she planned to "split time between my daughter and myself". it never quite works out like that. this was her second week long visit in as many years, it was an overnight in sf. again :( the rest of the time she was here

...problem is, I never invited her

a few months ago, she gleefully called with "her dates" and a list of suggestions what she might want to do, I was gobsmacked.

a week before she arrived, she emailed me with a virgin america flight deal with the message "should I book this for september? (NO!!!!) Requesting assistance in composing a response to the next self invited guest :(

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my attempt to be civil and agreeable backfired royally.

we were high school friends, and remained fairly close through our late twenties. followed by fifteen years or so of ignore- she was pushy and rude in general ( to strangers, which I'll never get)

she yelled at me about something..for the last time. I simply didn't return her calls. a few years ago, I ran into her while shopping and somehow here we are.

I wouldn't mind having lunch with her twice a year, I don't hate her or anything. we simply have nothing in common but a shared history, and a pretty pedestrian, one sided one at that :/

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Somehow and sometimes it seems we go from console%281%29.gif to :friends: and before ya know it we're at :gathering: and then :fie::giveup: when all we really wanted in the first place is, like you said, the occasional. :cheers:

It certainly can be a heart wrenching ordeal to get past where you are currently, but as always, honesty is the best policy. Like Mark and Bro Kaman said/inferred, keeping things at your level of comfort isn't always easy and what you have invested in this friendship vs what she has invested seems to be quite different. I would hit her with the reality check and if that didn't work on the peaceful level, a firm foot down and "NO!" would follow.

Of course, none of us are in exactly the same shoes as you, but I think I've worn a close enough pair...as it sounds like Mark and Bro K have too, to lay it on the line and stop the intrusions. After all, from our side-bars it sounds to me like you have things going on with immediate family that deserve your undivided attention and of far more concern than an old school chum. If she can't understand that, well then me thinks she don't understand much!

Hoping you get some understanding and healing from her....

Blessings of Peace,

Al

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yes indeed..

I was just shocked that she invited herself again, but why should I have been? moving forward, "I really can't entertain guests. since I work from home it is simply too difficult, I'm sorry. there are some nice hotels in the east bay that I can recommend"

this ignoramous didn't even reach for the check at lunch. she waited till I reached for it and said, "oh, you've got that"? really? she has her recess money! ah, live and learn.

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