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Youch

Loneliness Vs. Being Alone

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Not sure if I've ever posted in this section before....

Wasn't sure this was the correct section for this article... http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/extreme-loneliness-worse-for-health-than-obesity-9132031.html Seems good enough a spot to me!

I've never understood the feeling of loneliness, but I've always felt sorry for people who experienced it. As a person who enjoys being alone (rarely am I afforded such a luxury), for as long as I can remember I have always been saddened by people who are lonely....less so as I get older.

Regardless of the species of animal, a sub-set of each finds themselves on the outside. On the one hand, sad. On the other, that is part of the complex diversity of life. I'm not talking about the mentally challenged, I'm referring to normal life in the food chain.....about half of the male lions born are destined to not be part of a pride.....they are run off, to fend for themselves and as often as not don't find or make another pride. Humans are no different.....bad choices, bad luck, bad breath, whatever....some folks just end up on the outside. On the one hand, sad....on the other, normal.

Seems being part of a group extends life expectancy. Perhaps. Makes sense on several levels. What say you?

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I thought for sure an article about feelings and emotion and sorrow and loneliness would resonate amongst the 12 usual participants of this forum. I only posted it as a result of that assumption.

I guess I was wrong. It happens......

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some people are lonely all their lives. some people dream of the day they can be alone. it is often a function of individual paths, and these paths converging, or not. of place, of community and of choices.

I've only had a few years where I actually lived alone. I was far from lonely. I was in my late thirties when my daughter went away to college. I wondered how this huge life change would affect me (not to worry). I had two big dogs, a job I loved and close and fantastic family and friends.

I have empathy for the elderly and those who have lost their family, their friends, their connection. It could be me someday. my entire family is back east, my parents are deceased and I have one child (with a life and a job that involves constant travel) I have a terrific husband and a dog I couldn't love more.. but if something were to happen to them, I would be alone.

I think it would take me quite some time to become lonely though ;)

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A man says to his psychiatrist, "Doc I have a problem. From the time I get up in the morning, my seven kids drive me nuts, we all share one bathroom, so I don't even get to shave alone. Then I car-pool to work where I'm surrounded by dozens of co-workers who drive me crazy all day. When I get home, between my wife and kids, I have no private time at all. Even on my days off, my wife insist on inviting friends and family over every weekend. I never have a minute of free time for myself or a moment of solitude. Can you help me?

The psychiatrist says, "So what exactly is your problem?"

Man says, "Haven't you been listening doc? I'M SO FREAKING LONELY"

Loneliness can be an empty soul void of purpose. "He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). In that sense, I've never been alone.

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some people are lonely all their lives. some people dream of the day they can be alone. it is often a function of individual paths, and these paths converging, or not. of place, of community and of choices.

I've only had a few years where I actually lived alone. I was far from lonely. I was in my late thirties when my daughter went away to college. I wondered how this huge life change would affect me (not to worry). I had two big dogs, a job I loved and close and fantastic family and friends.

I have empathy for the elderly and those who have lost their family, their friends, their connection. It could be me someday. my entire family is back east, my parents are deceased and I have one child (with a life and a job that involves constant travel) I have a terrific husband and a dog I couldn't love more.. but if something were to happen to them, I would be alone.

I think it would take me quite some time to become lonely though ;)

Being around people is irrelevant to being lonely. It is the lack of connectedness to what is around you.

A man says to his psychiatrist, "Doc I have a problem. From the time I get up in the morning, my seven kids drive me nuts, we all share one bathroom, so I don't even get to shave alone. Then I car-pool to work where I'm surrounded by dozens of co-workers who drive me crazy all day. When I get home, between my wife and kids, I have no private time at all. Even on my days off, my wife insist on inviting friends and family over every weekend. I never have a minute of free time for myself or a moment of solitude. Can you help me?

The psychiatrist says, "So what exactly is your problem?"

Man says, "Haven't you been listening doc? I'M SO FREAKING LONELY"

Loneliness can be an empty soul void of purpose. "He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). In that sense, I've never been alone.

Three great posts!!!

:coffee::shades2:

Edited by Youch

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I'm sorry, I didn't think you needed me to hold your hand. This category is prayers and good wishes, not explain why I thought Elvis is a perfect example of the problem you don't have. But since you asked (in your own peculiar ego-prodding way), his isolation in the midst of abundance is why I chose that song of despair and hope. I think it's fair to say his obesity wasn't what killed him.

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I'm sorry, I didn't think you needed me to hold your hand. This category is prayers and good wishes, not explain why I thought Elvis is a perfect example of the problem you don't have. But since you asked (in your own peculiar ego-prodding way), his isolation in the midst of abundance is why I chose that song of despair and hope. I think it's fair to say his obesity wasn't what killed him.

Who are you talking to? Who mentioned Elvis? What ego-prodding way are you crying about? What hand needs holding??

Seems you may be lonely. If that is the case, then I feel sorry for you.

Speaking of Elvis....besides the Beatles... (Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band)...what 70s band spoke of "lonely hearts".....I think the band Yes did that song, right?

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Who are you talking to? You, of course. Or just myself. Sometimes it's hard to tell on the internet.

Who mentioned Elvis? I did, twice. And now you have as well.

What ego-prodding way are you crying about? Very funny.

What hand needs holding?? You seemed lonely in this thread all by yourself. Perhaps you prefer to call it something else.

Seems you may be lonely. If that is the case, then I feel sorry for you.

The difference between being lonely and being alone is in our expectations. In this case, I just wanted information. There's no need to feel sorry for providing it. We're communal animals, except for the odd sociopath, dissatisfaction with isolation is bred into us. Exposure to a toxic environment has left me overly sensitive to exclusion. I generally try to ignore these triggers, but it stood out more than usual, and knowing your penchant for pushing buttons I suspected it might have been deliberate. I knew I was jumping to a conclusion, and I was prepared to be wrong. The failsafe was that even a bad pitch would still breathe life into the discussion.

Speaking of Elvis....besides the Beatles... (Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band)...what 70s band spoke of "lonely hearts".....I think the band Yes did that song, right?

Aye, that was a long time ago. John Denver did a nice one too. Remember how we used to address societal issues with a call instead of a command? Not that this country was ever perfect, but just in my lifetime I've observed a steady erosion of that independent spirit. There are more people than ever, but the world is a much lonelier place these days. IMO.

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You just lost all discernible credibility with me.

The post is supposed to be about the difference between the lonely and being alone, and was posted in a specific area of the forum on purpose. Something to ponder for those who may be afflicted with something that may resonate.

Whatever you are talking about, is all your own.....distractions and sidebars and off topic rants, even personal jousting, is a longstanding and acceptable nuance around here.... but whatever you are talking about, unless a deflection away from loneliness, as nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Onward and Upward,

:coffee:

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That was beautiful, Kingfisher. Thanks for sharing.

Totally going to repost that video on the Facebook.

And yeah, there is a difference between being alone and loneliness.

For some people it's kind of hard to learn how to be alone and still be okay and at peace. And those same people don't know the difference between being alone and what loneliness is. That's why they fill themselves with other people but don't make the connection required to feed that emotional need. I used to have that very problem myself.

I admit, I get kind of lonely coming home and nobody is here to greet me. Not even a pet.

Sometimes there's tears but because I have recovered from such a deep depression as so, I tend to be okay after a few hours and don't feel the urge to sabotage my life because of it.

Much love to those who suffer from loneliness.

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Sometimes there's tears but because I have recovered from such a deep depression as so, I tend to be okay after a few hours and don't feel the urge to sabotage my life because of it.

Much love to those who suffer from loneliness.

Pets can fill many voids. Have you considered?

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I could probably get fish but that's about it. I had to give away Shima, my cat, in order to move in. It was a hard choice but I did it to improve my living situation.

A nice, fat, gold fish would probably do. (:

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I think goldfish are great pets freya worship :) with a little care they can live a long time too. my daughter won a little comet at a school fair when she was six, she was in middle school when bob marley died.. we also had four big fantails in a twenty gallon aquairium, seemed they lived forever too!

(watch where you put your bowl or aquarium, no direct sunlight! algae!) :)

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I could probably get fish but that's about it. I had to give away Shima, my cat, in order to move in. It was a hard choice but I did it to improve my living situation.

A nice, fat, gold fish would probably do. (:

Sad (to me).

To me, a house is not a home without pets.

I married into a culture that does not keep pets AT ALL....to them, they are outside critters or food, but not something to spend money on. It did not take long to convert the spouse, however..... heck, even assisted living (old folks homes) facilitate the interaction with animals, as it enhances mood and generates smiles. I love my pets, and spoil them as much as possible, unlike the humans in my family!!

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That is too cool, Youch. And grateful, I'll keep that idea in mind when I decide if getting a fish is right for me.

I joked with the landlord this winter as he replaced my water heater and asked him if I had to pay a security deposit for a Tamagotchi. <<

He stared at me for a moment.

I said, "Ha-ha?"

Then he smiled.

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