Oh Boy

[wnbaker]

Dear Community:

There is too much to state in an initial posting but I will start with my request. I have been asked to perform the marriage of my dear friends Seamus and Eleanor. I became ordained so that I could do this.

The secondary information is that is have need direction. I was raised Irish Catholic and left years ago. I love my friends who are vegetarians, raise bees, hike etc. I want to do this right.

I was also diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer, untreatable. I want to find a balance of love and peace. Laughter and black Irish humor is easy. Does anyone know a nice way to begin a ceremony? I have no idea what I am doing.

Thanks all:

Bill

Oh, the wedding is in October in the Rockies.

[Seeker]

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer. This sounds like a great thing to be doing under the circumstances. As an aside, may I recommend a book: "I heard the owl call my name" by Margaret Craven.

I've never officiated at a wedding (although I've been to a few), so take this with several grains of salt -especially if the more experienced members disagree with me.

The traditional opening usually includes something like "We are here to witness the joining of Seamus and Elanor as man and wife." You can't go far wrong with that. Don't be afraid to be obvious. It's a ritual, and it should be made clear to everyone what's going on. You are the master of ceremonies, but the couple are centre stage.

You need to talk to them in some detail about what style they are looking for. Do they want you to bring your Catholic background, or are they looking for something new age? Mystical or mundane? Formal, informal, or somewhere in-between? That doesn't mean getting them to write the ceremony, but you need to have a good idea what sort of thing they are looking for. It may help to start with the vows they plan to make. The rest of the ceremony exists to put them in context.

I'd suggest leaving the black Irish humor to the best man. Your role is to to provide a serious and reflective context for them to make their commitment, and to bless and celebrate the marriage once it has been made.

[wnbaker]

Thanks Seeker, don't worry, that humor would not be at the ceremony!

I appreciate your stating what is so obvious to me know.... what do they want.

Thanks.