Not To Us

[Samadhi]

Many times we think things happen to us. Bad luck happens to us. Suffering happens to us. Only in a few cases is this so. Many times, things happen because of us. We make poor decisions, uniformed decisions. We are our own worst enemy at times. The time comes to taste our karma and the taste is bitter, not sweet as we would like.

Much of our suffering is due to our own nature. We want something. We cannot get it, so we suffer. To need something is something else. We need food, water, shelter. To want the attention of another is a want. To want to be recognized for something is a want. They are not needs. If we can separate the wants from the needs, we can begin to see clearly.

The second noble truth speaks that desire, craving, et cetera is the cause of suffering. Yet as human creatures, we seem ingrained with that fault. As a newborn, things are different. We immediately begin needing. We want need, warmth, security. As we grow up the needs take a backseat to the wants. The wants change over time. As a newborn, if we do not get our wants, we cry. Later when we have aged, we suffer and look to place blame on someone or something but we rarely look into the mirror to discover the culprit.

It is much easier to place the blame elsewhere. It is said that a foolish man will knowingly drink saltwater and then blame the salt for making him thirstier. It would be much wiser not to drink the saltwater and find another alternative. Wiser and more difficult.

The point is that we can avoid much of the suffering we encounter by not wanting. Being content with what we have is gold. This is not to say we cannot hope to improve. However, attaching our happiness to the end result only sets us up for failure and unhappiness. Likewise, standing still and complaining is useless and foolhardy.

I once knew a man who lived by a river. Every spring the snow would melt and the river would spill over its banks and flood the houses nearby. Every spring while pumping the water out of his basement, the man would complain that the state refused to fix the problem. He would carry on for some time about the aggravation he and his neighbors suffered every spring. One day I asked him if he had considered moving somewhere else. He replied, “No, we like it here”.

Well what right did he have to complain then? If you are being hit with the swing of a hammer constantly, get out of the way! Sometimes, if you do nothing to improve your situation, the situation may not improve. Next time something unpleasant happens, ask yourself whether it happened to you or because of you.