~ Tanka...

[Qryos]

~ Tanka is a poetry form that's sorta strict.

Syllable count is 5-7-5-7-7.

The first two lines have an image, 3rd & 4th have a different image, the 5th ties them together.

My attempt...

Only the wind sings

Now that the house is empty.

The birds have all flown

Far away with the summer.

I am left behind wingless.

Anyone else willing to try a strictured poety form? No rhyming necessary!

{It's a Japanes form. Like haiku, the point is not to rhyme.

Of course in Japanese it's trickier not to rhyme than to :lol}

[Verisoph]

I'll bite.

Placer

Come along my friend

to a place just past the bend.

Where flow hits a wall

there the golden nuggets fall

waiting to be found.

Sorry, I like to rhyme.

Oh, it's about panning for placer gold in mountain streams. 'Course it's an analogy, too.

Edited October 15, 2007 by Verisoph

[Verisoph]

Oops, I thought the last line was supposed to be five syllables.

[Qryos]

~ You are a darling!

Perhaps?

Come along my friend

to a place just past the bend.

Where flow hits a wall

there the golden nuggets fall.

Waiting to be found again.

... Just a suggestion!

Edited October 15, 2007 by Qryos

[Verisoph]

Sounds good, except that it doesn't fit the analogy, which is admittedly obscure.

It's said that the way of the Tao is a watercourse way -- that one should go with the flow. Gold nuggets do this in a moving stream. But, when the stream hits a bend, on the far outside edge, the flow is interrupted. There, gold nuggets collect, and can be gathered.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that some of life's best lessons are to be found, by those who are willing to look for them, in the troubled spots.

I'll go with this:

Placer

Come along my friend

to a place just past the bend.

Where flow hits a wall

there the golden nuggets fall

gladly waiting to be found.

[Qryos]

~ I actually did understand your analogy...

I was touching on the 'come along my friend' as perhaps a re-uniting

& the gold as newly found.

... I know, I'm a pain in the tush!

Come along my friend

to a place just past the bend.

Where flow hits a wall

there the golden nuggets fall

gladly waiting to be found.

... Yep, I think ya ought to go with that!

[idealdabbler]

I have no Tanka

I can write for you today

With clouds in the sky

I find that I am depressed

I'll try again tomorrow.

Edited October 15, 2007 by idealdabbler

[Qryos]

Chilled glasses await

The family gathering.

Swooping low above

Migrating geese coming home.

And so the ice is melted.

... I'm not sure, but I think that might be actually sorta good?

[idealdabbler]

Chilled glasses await

The family gathering.

Swooping low above

Migrating geese coming home.

And so the ice is melted.

... I'm not sure, but I think that might be actually sorta good?

I'd say.

[Theresa]

Made me homesick.

[Phillipe]

Anyone else willing to try a strictured poety form?

No, Tanka.

[boteomm]

hayride tomorrow

with my wife and 2 children

a horse drawn wagon

and hay poking our 4 butts

the smell of horse doody cheers

[Qryos]

~ Thank you Cosmo! Sounds like fun

... I'm gonna try another...

Autumn bringing gold

saluting a new season.

Family gathers

with packages from the past.

Another chilly winter.

... That's sorta depressing, huh? OK, I'll try another...

Pine trees hold silent

while snow softly envelops.

Winter is brightened

when a child comes to stay.

Blankets lost in Spring.

... OK, not so cheerful either! I'm on the fly here...

[idealdabbler]

Keep flyin' dear.