Qryos Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 ~ Just working with an annoyance... Suggestions?What was lost IsFound the whats and whosTo say it's past or presenceGiven or taken away to the whereAre we going to know the way Ward the paths we traceThe pattern was etched goldenRules no longer apply... I know, it's an oddness. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bel Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 But I like the oddness, makes me think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whirling Dervish Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 But I like the oddness, makes me think.Qryos is way to cool that way. She breaks my brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillipe Posted October 13, 2007 Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 The cadence of it makes me uncomfortable.Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Call me Flower Posted October 14, 2007 Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 Claire,Did you know that poem is a very ancient Rune? You did a great job of writing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverRose Posted October 14, 2007 Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted October 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 The cadence of it makes me uncomfortable.Thank you. ~ Just wondering, is the 'Thank you' for making you uncomfortable? I do have other oddness that would probably make ya chafe! If ya want.Thank you for the replies & encouragement! I was trying something with the line-breaks & common phrases obviously. What was lost IsFound the whats and whosTo say it's past or presenceGiven or taken away to the whereAre we going to know the way Ward the paths we trace <'all> instead of 'the'>The pattern was etched goldenRules no longer applyWhat was lost Is Found the whats and whos To say it's past or presence Given or taken away to the where Are we going to know the way Ward the paths we trace The pattern was etched <'all' instead of 'the'>golden Rules no longer apply... Hmmm, need to change some, huh?I do doodle along with my babble... Sorry to be a bother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillipe Posted October 14, 2007 Report Share Posted October 14, 2007 ~ Just wondering, is the 'Thank you' for making you uncomfortable? I do have other oddness that would probably make ya chafe! If ya want.Poetry, like many other forms of writing, should be a tool not only for making one feel good, but also one for making one uncomfortable. If one is never uncomfortable, one will never seek to improve themselves by self-examination. Therefore, I thank you for making me uncomfortable, since it forces me to re-evaluate who and what I am and what I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 ~ Wooo! I did all that??? You're welcome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillipe Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 You did all that and more, m'lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qryos Posted October 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 ~ So, have you read the poem I made for my Father?That's an uncomfortable bit for most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillipe Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Oddly enough, that one doesn't affect me on such a visceral level - maybe because I see a lot of myself in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idealdabbler Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Kinda sounds like a word salad. No matter how you toss it.Could you pass the bleu cheese, please? You're absolutely right, however, in your aproach to experimentation. You gotta get away from the predictable sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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