Crzyme

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Posts posted by Crzyme

  1. All of life includes changes
    we all change as do our relationships with others
    sometimes time apart happens,
    perhaps you will reunite later in life possibly not

    this year I lost two of my closest friends within four months of each other

    their deaths were hard to experience and I miss them so much

    You asked about best qualities in a friend
    I say the best quality a friend can have is whatever completes what we mutually need in our lives at the time
    some folks need people to be on hand all the time, others do not
    some need someone to bounce ideas off of
    some need a listener some a talker
    some a travel companion some a shopping partner

    a friend is someone who makes us want to be with them and makes us feel good when we are and miss them when we are not with them.

  2. One can not teach via hypocritical design, at least not the intended message so not many will find the do not do what I do lesson educational.
    As for the educational system this is my personal view:
    Some people excel in the customary educational system, others do not do well at all, while most go through with an average experience (thusly making it average) there is no right and wrong to fit the masses.

    Education is most often geared towards a person being able to survive as a grown up, in some instances the system in place is failing to do that job.
    I know that is a vague statement so i will expand the idea.
    When I moved from an urban area to a rural one and saw the local school teaching welding, graphic design and a popular class that focus on industrial chemistry (among the usual classes) I was puzzled at the choices; until I saw the main local industry was steel building construction, a can plant that included designing different cans and a rubber plant that made many different compounds of rubber.
    Teaching the students to be able to compete for the local job market was working well in this rural area, if one wants to view education as a stepping stone to joining the workforce. The companies get to chose from the best and the brightest in their area of need, the students get to follow schooling with employment so it could be viewed as a win win situation.
    Seeing this made me rethink a lot of educational situations, what is college other than a person paying for their own advanced training in a chosen field in order to find employment (of course many other countries pay for this higher education to have a more educated workforce) upon completion.
    Over the years as industry changed in the area so did the classes, ie: the rubber plant closed and a car part manufacturer added robotics to the local curriculum so the system kept up. Then schools started teaching for tests in order to get more funding for the schools, which did bring in more money but lost much in preparing the student body to support themselves after graduating. The local workforce was affected, as was the quality of education and the future of the students.

    I also saw the dropout rate soar, in part simply completing a k-12 education says much to an employer but we learn all kinds of things everyday of our lives, some are ingrained in our "rule book" in our heads and are not even factual some are useless but factual and some we can really use in our adult lives.

    here is something i found educational about lessons we learn at school http://teaching.about.com/od/ParentalInvolvement/fl/Twenty-Life-Lessons-Taught-by-Teachers.htm

    As for the adornment of the human body, we each have our own ideas and preferences on what costume we choose to wear each day, how we treat our bodies and we should allow others to do what they feel is right and follow our own rules for only our own body. To each his/her own, it is no one elses business we each look only out our own skulls and make only our own choices.


  3. any form of communication can be (and is) used as a weapon

    some people find offense in things not meant to be offensive (where few others would find offense)

    some people do not understand they are being offensive even when many find them so.

    some do not get the joke and instead get offended

    the reason we get offended is often in how we view the meaning of what was said (or done).

    some people have fallen into a bad habit of finding offense in their lives and need to find better ways of interacting with others, maybe read up on how to find the world less offensive :)

    we all need more laughter

  4. not being a believer in a God I am looking at this in a mental health kind of way, Do we need to experience hardships, hurts and pain to truly understand happiness,peace and joy? I think we are born understanding how to be happy and contented but we do wail with hunger and discomfort from the onset as well so we also already know from the start when we are unhappy or discontented.
    So are we in need of discomfort, fear, or calamity to make our lives somehow better after they leave us? No I think not, these are things which do happen to most people as they live their lives because most often we are the ones who lable life events as such.

    For example talking about death and how we perceive the "loss" of a loved one who dies. We all die, we all face the loss of those we love to death, so when we lose loved ones other than to extreme old age, we label these losses tragic and for some the recovery from such losses take a mental toll which takes many years to get over, before we can truly allow ourselves to experience joy but this doesn't mean we needed to feel death as tragic pain to enjoy the pleasure of living.
    If we lived where dying was a more everyday event would it take us so long to get back to the joys of life? Our first world lives see very little death, we neither raise nor kill our own food, we do not plant crops or rely upon plants we nurture to survive in order to eat, ours is an easy life where we face little in the way of sustaining life, so death comes at us mysteriously so we tend to grieve our losses disproportionately than those who must struggle to keep plant and animal alive for their own survival. Not that those we see death as part of life do not feel sorrow for those lost to this world but they tend to mentally do better because they know it is not a mystery it is rather just an aspect of being alive.

    What is simply is, we live so we die, we feel happy and we feel sad, we are excited and we are bored, we are thrilled and despondent, we do not have to have the opposite in order to appreciate the other but we will have them nonetheless in the act of living.

  5. I look to the stars and see the amazing vastness of the universe and wonder about the tiny speck we live on,
    I look to the earth and see it as an infinitesimal molten centered dot.
    I look to the waters and see A colorless, transparent, odorless, tasteless liquid that forms the seas, lakes, rivers, and rain, which covers a vast majority of our tiny planet in one of its three forms.
    I look to the wolves, the eagles and see predators who use to help control the populations of vermin, but who are being eradicated by humans as we infect the planet with our ever growing population. ,
    I look to the words and see that leap in humanity as we learned to write down our thoughts and our knowledge,
    Look and see that on our planet life has formed, grown and flourished with no species doing so as prolific as has humans, even as we are vastly outnumbered by insects it is of differing species so as a singular species human has managed to inhabit all parts of this planet even as we strive to go farther and maybe that is what is coded into our DNA the quest to keep on the move, and who knows maybe that is how DNA made it here (to the planet) in the first place, hitching a ride on space dust riding a meteor.
    When I look and see people who see God(s) I see people who want all things either left unanswered (don't question God) or answered in a simplistic way, "God did it"

    When I look and see people who see God I see people who need something to be in charge of the Vastness, of the unknown to have comfort

    When I see people who see God I see people afraid of a universe that just is and need stories and reason behind life

    When I see people who see God I see people who need to believe in finite good and evil, reward and punishment, life and death rather than a universe where things just are what they are without designations.

    I do not loath those who see God(s) nor do I loath those who do not see or seek a God

    Gods are always in change as the people who invent them are always in change.
  6. Why is it that man`s spirit is so fickle?

    In my life there has been so many people, events, stuff "in-and-out" of my life. Things I held more dear than life itself, swore eternal faithfulness, would have given my life for the person or situation, yet looking back I have totally lost them. Held ideas, philosophies and beliefs with passion, yet now I feel guilty, sad and remorse of whom I have become and all that I forgotten. Made promises I coudn`t keep, betrayed loved and followed mirages.

    Was it all for nothing? Yes, the wise will say--you have learnt from it, the intelligent will say, you have become more wise, the spiritual will say, it is the path to the Divine, the religious will say, it is the price of sin, the atheist will say, it is life, the ignorant will say, it was of no use and I say --as in the movie "what is it all about Alfie"--for no matter from whichever way I look at it on some days it makes absolutely no sense at all.

    blessings,

    Suzanne

    to me it is simple growth

    once our stuffed animal (doll, blanket, pacifier, bottle, etc..) was our most cherished possession, but as we went from crawling to walking to running importance changed

    As we went into the world, school church, visits to the homes of others, vacations... we learned not all places were like our homes, not all people were like our family

    the older we get the more we should change, when mentally and physically able we should get up off the floor and walk, not wallow on our backs taking int he same view forever

    Childhood friends, puppy loves, play ground bullies are all left behind as our world opens up, as we age and learn and grow away from our childhood selves

    The often turbulent teen years give rise to rebellion, rejection of childhood beliefs and leaps into the the unknown of sudo-adulthood in those years when we think we are grownups and are dismissive of our parents ways, it is often the only way we can break out on our own. Some when faced head on with real adult issues fly right back to the comforts of those idealistic views from childhood, others stretch out beyond in search for themselves, but we usually stop needing to rebel at some point.

    Life speeds by as we just go about our days and we find years slip away, people and ideas gone with the fluttering pages of old calendars replaced by new thoughts we have gathered along the way.

    No life is not stagnant it is fluid and even when we are deeply hurt, it passes, we take memories along and keep going until our time is done. We see others and think "Oh how can they go on, after _______ happened to them, but that is life, it simply carries you on micro seconds at a time which rapidly turn into decades.

    It isn't for nothing, nor is it for something, it just is life.

  7. It's O.K. We don't mind sharing ;). Everybody loves a reason to have a party. For example I am not a German, but I love beer and brats during Oktoberfest. Sometimes I think that it is forgotten how important a person's intent is regarding things. Children who are going trick or treating are not out worshiping Pagan gods, they are just having fun. Easter bunnies and eggs may have been Pagan fertility symbols in ancient times, but I do not believe that anyone is doing homage to Ostara by celebrating Easter customs unless there is a conscious and deliberate intent to do so. We have many customs and traditions based on Paganism and folklore, but we cannot throw out huge chunks of our culture and large portions of our language to make things completely neutral. If your wall calendar has Teusday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on it, you are not automatically a Norse Pagan who worships Tiw, Woden, Thor, and Frigg. You are not worshipping Mercury or Hermes when you drive on Goodyear tires just because their logo is the petasus (winged sandal). You do not become a Satanist when you eat a chocolate cake made from Duncan Hines devil's food cake mix. Of course, being a classic Witch and a Pagan, I am certain my opinions on the matter may be suspect. (Yes, we secretly hope to convert the whole world to Paganism with caramel apples and chocolate bunnies. Mmmwah-ha-ha :devil:!)

    BTW, welcome to the Forum Nealocampo :) !

    wonderful way to put it!

    once I wanted to do away with christmas in my home, I found it stupid to spend money in midwinter when funds were lowest at that time, it was the time for paying land tax, insurance (mandatory coverage) was also due then, but I had kids felt they would somehow be deprived as I had enjoyed the festivities when I was a child so I had Santa but I was resentful and often this lead to a not so good time had by all.

    Time changes things, I married a man who looks much like Santa (LOL he will love the Satan aspect of that) and plays the part now for the grandkids, who tell everyone their Grandpa is Santa. We do not celebrate any Christian aspect of the season, we have Santa, a tree and decorate the house much like a santa village, it is just fun. We have no jesus here (nor the judgemental aspect of Jesus/god) our Santa doesn't give gifts as reward or withhold them for punishment, we tell kids (to the dismay to many parents) that Santa doesn't judge nor does he watch you all the time (how creepy is the idea that Santa is always watching) that Santa just does what he can to make life a little happier for the kids he gets to visit.

    now I enjoy the season, the grandkids enjoy the season and life is so much better

    My sons both have santa (not grandpa santa) gifts under their trees for their kids, one lets santa bring one gift (and not an extravagant one) and the other lets Santa bring most of the gifts but tells his kids he has to work to send santa the money for the gifts. I think we all choose what aspects of all the holidays we want to celebrate and that is a good thing, those who fuss and fight and get all out of sorts over what is or isn't celebrated just miss out on the fun, the how, when, where or why's do not really matter, life is short, enjoy as much of it as possible.

    personally Halloween is my favorite always has been no matter the origins, no matter those who want to end it or fear it, I love to get all dressed up, be silly, stupid, crazy, scary or whatever seems fitting for that year and throw a party after all everyone loves a reason to party.

  8. My beautiful great Dane doberman mix, Ace who was solid black and 125 pounds saved my husband and my life when he woke us to a fire in our livingroom (fire inspector found where wires had sparked on a curtain) we were in a dead sleep at 3 am when the dog got us up and flames were coming from behind a chair, we got him and ran outside thinking we could get to the water hose, by the time we got the hose (not even 5 minutes) the front windows blew out, we ran to the neighbors (a firefighter) and he called it in.

    Ace passed away only 4 months later from a brain infection of unknown origins, he was smart beautiful and saved our lives.

    I have had many furry pets who I have loved and lost, each gave something positive to my soul, their lives are short compared to ours and I believe it is our job to make sure those short years are the best we can make them for those who walk on four paws.

  9. She sits beautifully, she sits and waits perfectly for feedings she will sit without fidgeting for 5 full minutes and will calmly do so again if I stop her mid feed without hesitation. She goes from sit to down well with a treat hidden in my hand, but without the smell of a treat she still is hit and miss on the down part. Come is also still hit and miss just saying the word while she is away from me 9not after a sit and stay) , but during the day when I am working in the art studio she roams the yard and in and out of the studio, and when I call out to her she will come in and see me very shortly (then we have a short play time and a treat) this way I can check on her often without stopping what I am doing.

    Happy Chihuahua was instantly in love with her, he pranced all around her with his "love ears" on (when he has them facing forward standing up but with the tip ends folded down) and his tail held high up and tightly curled (this is his most proud and Happy tail look LOL)chest out and bouncing on his paw tips, She just wanted to play, but I am sure those big feet and baby exuberance is scary as can be to Happy so he keeps reminding her to calm down and play easy, they are fun together and of course we all walk together.

    We live on the side of the Chief Ladiga Trail so we walk there at least twice a day, I am not a fast walker but I can walk far LOL, sometimes I see Betty looking longingly at joggers :cupidarrow::derisive: but she loves me and walks good, smells can sometimes distract her, and she wants to greet everyone (even those on bikes or running) so I have to remind her of her manners and get her to ignore them.

    She is just the best addition to our pack, our sleek, sweet girl.

  10. Qryos I can relate my granddaughter plays with slugs, she really loves Leopard Slugs, she finds them lovely and their patterns delightful all I could see was slime, but not her she saw beauty, so we took some photos macro images did show me the lovely patterns of these interesting critters and research told us all they ate and other aspects of their lives, now she has a slug enclosure she built in an old aquarium, where she can watch them and hopes to have some mate and lay eggs so she built the habitat to encourage that with sticks they can hang from (as the hermaphroditic critters entwine and hang upside-down for mating, then both lay eggs

    my son had always gathered things to show the kids from the time they were born like bugs and snakes, turtles, frogs and Alexis has always been a Daddy's girl loving all the things that slither, crawl and creep others out, but even her father didn't like the slugs LOL she still creeps even him out when she lets them crawl on her. It is very odd to see a lovely 10 year old girly girl who has slugs slimming her (I need to photograph that, now that I think of it) but I love that she can ignore what others think, laugh at their being creeped out and do what she wants.

  11. As I age I find I question myself and my motivations for why I do, think and respond as I do in all aspects of my life, I also wonder how I came to the beliefs I have today.

    Of course I also ponder why others think, do and respond as they do, sometimes this seems simple and obvious, like: one of my sisters who lives in Florida was planting a few fruit trees several years ago in her yard and I asked if she was going to plant any orange trees, she reacted at once very harshly with "Oh no I HATE orange trees" so I asked her "why" and she could find no real cause, first she said they were messy, but all fruit bearing trees drop ripe and over ripe fruit so are messy, then she said they stink but admitted she loved oranges and the smell of oranges, so left it as "I don't know why I don't like them i just don't like them" even as she was planting other citrus trees, but I later recalled on a trip to Florida one year when she was young and we went to an orange grove to pick our own oranges and there she was stung many times after stepping in the opening for an underground yellow jackets nest, I called her and reminded her of this event, and we concluded this could be the root cause of her hatred of Orange trees, even as the tree was not to blame, she laughed a lot and in the end bought her two different kind of orange trees which now give her fruit each year and she loves them as does her grandkids.

    Sometimes I cant let things go in my pondering of why I do what I do, think as I think, and it drives me crazy, which leads me to wonder why I do it :crazyeyes:

    So now I am wondering if this is not something most people go through as they age.

    Do you spend time pondering why you believe what you do? Why you might hate the color yellow or believe only Fords are good cars, or that all spiders should be killed as soon as they are spotted, or that a bird in the house means someone will soon die (that one from a friend of mine who lost her mind with worry when a bird flew into my house while I talked with her on the phone) so many beliefs, including the ones we choose to believe in regard to origin of mankind, the planet and what happens to us when we die.

    Where do we get all those beliefs we have which are so strong we might fight or die in defense of even as they are just personal views, opinions and beliefs. For some it is political party for some it is religion for some it is vehicle make, race-car driver, ball team, scientific theory for others it is how to stack dishes in a dishwasher, fold a towel or make a sandwich (I have personally witnessed people loose it on those particular subjects, fighting that they had the ONLY right way) but most of us have something we keep fighting for (or against) to the point of at the very least the potential for violence if not actual violence. We can disown people, shun friends or look upon people as enemies just for having the same strength of opposing stance, and yet it is really all in our heads from our own personal motivations.

    Just pondering life I guess, and wondering if others ponder the same things.

  12. I am in total agreement, all schools should start signing with kids, as well as other languages like French and Spanish in kindergarten this not only helps people the rest of their lives to communicate with almost anyone it opens new pathways in the brain and makes learning even more languages easier for the rest of their lives.

    It is not easy to learn a new language as an adult (as a grandmother in my case) but it can be done, the older 2 siblings of my Deaf grandson are good at both ASL and English but the youngest (2) was born into a home where both is used and he is fluent and actually signed before he could speak, now he speaks paragraphs and signs all his words at the same time.

    Because of Luke I have met many Deaf people and witnessed the struggles they have to face dealing with the hearing, but I think the best advancement for communicating back and forth has been the smart phone, and the speaking text apps, type it speaks then it listens and types what it hears for the Deaf person to read, really cool.

    I know the technology will continue to advance and can hardly wait to see what wonders will be available for Luke when he is older.

  13. Did not know this thanks for the information, my grandson is Deaf, was born without a cochlea in his ears, so we all got to learn a new language (well continue to learn and anticipate that to be a life long learning experience) he will be 6 in January and goes to kindergarten at the Alabama school for the deaf in Talledega, AL. But I have not seen anything from the school indicating recognition of a holiday.

    being a smart funny boy he just taught me the sign for Burp yesterday, and for pirate on friday when he told me he was not going home cause he was a pirate living in my pool, LMAO that boy is too funny, and he loves him some grandma, and this grandma sure loves her some Luke.

  14. I once had a cat that woke the entire family every morning, our day began the same way each morning I got up then went down the hall got youngest son up then to the next room for oldest son then fed the cat, soon she was jumping on me seconds before the clock would have awaken me, as soon as I stood up she would dart from the room and pounce on youngest son, when he was standing she repeated the act until all humans were up, she unfortunately did not take into account weekends, or holidays so even on days we could sleep in she was our faithful alarm cat.

  15. We have had many a rescue dog but like you I wanted a specific breed and a puppy this time, it took me months to find the breeder of dobermans I chose, they breed one liter a year, the dogs all live in the house as part of the family, I went to their home, saw the sir and dame (loved them they were really good dogs) and bought our wonderful Betty.

    Yes I know many dogs need rescuing still, but I also know this breed, love them, and wanted a puppy. I don't regret it she is wonderful and training so well, she will have a great life and that to me is the important thing, to give a dog, any dog a good life.

  16. she is just the sweetest pup, we have had dobermans before and I so missed having that energy and fun around, they are very smart dogs and as a result get into, onto and eat just about anything if they are not well trained but so worth the effort because the rewards are abundant. My red male "Rusty" (yeah how original LOL) was a wonderful dog we had him 10 years when his mate died giving birth he grieved himself to death broke my heart, and his mate Bonnie a blue doberman Dane mix was such a sweetheart it just broke our hearts when the vet could not save her during the birth of her first litter, I bottle feed the pups, kept one and only had him two years when he got a brain infection and died.

    took Betty visiting yesterday, she did so well, in the car, walking on the sidewalks window shopping, even patiently waiting in the car (it was running with AC on) while friends and I had lunch very good for a two month old pup.

    she was also very good with all the grandkids (ages 2-10) and they just love her already.

  17. I voted Pacifist because I live my life this way, believe it to be correct for me

    I believe if any creator was involved at all in the formation of humans it was a builder and a pacifists in a natural way, not to kill or harm for sport but for food carnivores and omnivores are not restricted from killing as all meat eaters do kill (or sometimes harm with near misses).

    I do totally reject the idea of a vengeful god/creator as something that just doesn't seem logical

  18. What defines a person as old? Attitude, can define one as Old, my son Zach was born an old man (from the 1950's who shakes his cane and yells at kids for being on his lawn) even as a child he wanted to hang out with old men, and today at 30 he still prefers their company as his contemporaries and hangs out at the American Legion with them. While the kids (grandkids, nieces and nephews) are always saying something that places me in the same league with them, that I am allowed or can do something with them but not "the Adults" I honestly believe they also see me as much smaller than I am as they often want me to join them in places I will not fit :derisive:

    And what defines a person as wise? Wise to me is someone who is learned, this may be due to life lived and can come early, due to exceptional intellect (IQ brain capacity and desire to know) or later in life when we have time to explore more information, places and people and learn from it all.

    Some humans will never be wise, either from lack of intelligence, lack of imagination, lack of a quest for knowledge, stubbornly clinging to the idea that change is bad, no dreams being dreamt, and/or no passions for new things or ideas.

    I find the more I learn the more I still need to learn, and how I really know very little in the scope of things, I hope I never loose the quest for more.

    Is it likely a person age 20 - 25 would be widely viewed as wise?‚Äč Not often would I view a 20-25 year old wise, but I have done so and can for sure place my DIL in that category, she who showed up in my sons life at only 19 when he already had full custody of his three children from his first marriage, one who was only a year and a half old and deaf and the two older girls (6 and 3 at the time) who were very needy, and she not only took over their care, she loves them as her own, not only learned a new language but learned to teach it, under her care they have all bloomed, as had the forth child who is now two and signs and speaks paragraphs, the kids are now 10, 7, 5 and 2, and all doing so well in all aspects of life, greatly due to their young but wise mother who has yet to reach 25.

    I was not wise at 25, I was not very wise at 30 but at 52 I am getting there

  19. O bountiful for spacious thighs,

    For ample tons of fries

    engineered by the food industry

    to go down easily

    Oh "Merica" Oh "Merica"

    I shed a tear for thee

    as I bang my head

    on wonder bread

    I see what you cannot see.

  20. Sorry, Crzyme, I just dont dig your ** .

    same ** different day

    and I will freely admit I was paraphrasing ** that has been slug at me by only the vile people who have labeled themselves Christians while being mean, ugly and nasty and lumping all Christians into the same ** boat in which those individuals float.

    as this was a pun based lump I did, and in doing so I am guilty of some bad ** (bigotry toward Christians) even as I have some dear close friends and many acquaintances who are lovely people as well as being Christian, I do tend to hold a bigotry towards those hateful self called Christians (because in my life these are the humans who have caused me the most damage), I am always working on this aspect of my personality, I do not enjoy being or becoming what I dislike in them, so I try and not be hateful or ugly to others.

  21. I have been heart broken so many times, and in so many ways that I cannot even begin to relate it all.... i told you I didnt have very good luck with relationships.. Just the tip of the iceberg for example, my current GF has cancer, AND she is going away to prison for quite some time in the very near future. My last GF is now a hooker for drugs in WV. The one before her? Her ashes hold a prominent spot in what was once our home...

    Still.. I would not change a single moment with any of them... Well, ok maybe i would change the "bad' moments... Still though, whether I am with them or not, whether they are alive or not, I cherish each of them and would not trade the love that I have for them for anything in the world..

    Maybe it is not bad luck in love, maybe it is bad choices in women

    In general if one is repeatedly finding mates who turn out "bad" it is due to who that person is finding attractive, what draws them in, the aspect that is a common denominator in the women in question.

    My two sons each married crazy blondes who wrecked their lives (at least temporarily) each of them really loved those crazy women, and tried really hard to make those marriages work but they could not override the crazy part. One had three children with his wife, got full custody (without visitation from the mother),of the kids then found a very normal sweet and wonderful wife, and ultimately the second wife adopted the kids and the kids bloomed in her care. The other had no kids but had a much harder time getting rid of the wife who stalked him and even stabbed him (in the arm because he blocked her) before she found someone else to torture.

    I say this because when someone asked me "Why did both your sons marry crazy blonde women?" my answer is "Well that is who raised them" because that is the truth, I was bat crap crazy, mentally ill when my sons were young.

    I had no mental health help, had been sexually, physically, mentally, and spiritually abused from age 3 until 13, went nuts with drugs to self medicate as a teen where I was also harmed because of places i ended up, got pregnant stopped drugs tried the married thing, got divorced then married again, he died leaving us dead broke, went to work with some amazing people which was a catalyst for me because they were responsible for my getting some mental health help, life changed, I changed, happiness abounded.

    But my sons had been raised by crazy blonde so this was mentally who they went looking for when they went looking for love.

    They also got some mental health help, I saw to that and now they have wonderful wives, who are not crazy and have together given me 6 well adjusted grandchildren

    We all make choices in who we find attractive, in aspects of human behavior we seek, we do not always know why we choose what we choose or seek what we seek, but patterns will surface if one looks. I know I found abusive men for a while because that was what was normal in my very sick childhood. Now I also have a kind loving well adjust man as my husband, who is a perfect grandfather for all these grandkids and life is good.

    It could be some mental evaluation is needed to find why you seek potential mates who leave you feeling unlucky in love.