idealdabbler
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Posts posted by idealdabbler
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Classic farar.
I'm so glad to see you're still at it.
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My heart is broken
My mind is blown.
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I can only say your talent is astounding. Your words and metaphors, etc., are always fresh and revealing.
One minor point, in the following lines:
"There is a musty flavor in the air
one can taste, whether from the bar
interior, or the patrons, is not discernable.
There is one younger couple,"
You use the phrase,"There is..." twice in close succession. Your only uses of that phrase, by the way. It's a weak construction that adds nothing to the picture, and could be done without.
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~ My hours are strange... I've been a bit insane lately. {Well, more than usual anyway!}
I can't sleep. Then when I do I can't wake up for 10-12 hours. My poor husband! He's watching the babe mostly.
My hours are crazy,
I can't sleep at night.
Could be I'm lazy,
Or simply not right.
Husband is lonely
Without his old wife,
I'm not the only
In 'The change of life'!
{Sorry, that's a bad one! But really, menopause is sorta difficult to write about
}Hmmm...
maybe I should give
you my wife's number.
It seems you two
have alot in common.
Ohhhh! What am I thinking?
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MELODRAMA
So here we have it now,
the whole drama played out before us.
The coy moves ending in ecstatic bliss.
Moments of sweetness freely shared with
a public too embarrassed to object.
Sugary dripping saturating, slipping from tongues,
landing in puddles.
Then it begins,
the first hints of distress,
of messiness no relation can bear.
Ripping recriminations darken the sky
giving way to cries of grief.
No sweetness lost,
no forgiveness for the cost.
Only pain and sorrow
from those who gave
to those who borrow.
So who was it for?
The freak or the whore?
And are you happy now it’s been done?
©2003 Thomas L. Royce
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It sounds to me like he was what they call a savant, or maybe even high-functioning Aspergers Syndrome. Hard to know now.
I don't mean to psychoanalyse you, Claire, but have you tried forgiving him for being just who he was, and if so, have you forgiven yourself.
I know it sounds trite, and I hope you'll forgive me for that.
But I find often that when something comes back up 'out-of-the-blue' it comes down to an issue of forgiveness.Tom
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When it comes out all sloppy like that, it means it's time to play.
I believe you taught me something like that.
Really Q, this is quite good as it is, but I know you like to ~diddle~.
So ~diddle~
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Autumn twilight caught by the wind
Leaves patter soft about me
Washing the hills in gold
My breath is scattered
scattered is My breath
gold in the hills Washing
about me
soft Leaves patter the wind
caught by Autumn twilight
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This is outstanding!
A confessional we can all relate to.
And I absolutely love the chorus and the permutations it goes through.
Tom
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There's days when I could really use whatever it is she puts in her coffee.
Careful! It can be highly addictive.
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Keep flyin' dear.
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It's a snarky place & perhaps a bit of a race
but why bother to annoy when it's simply a toy?
C'mon! You have the balls... you bowl like a toilet
flushing just to annoy it
& what now you don't have the operatic achievement?
Yes, you licked as slick as a salt-starved monkey
kinda funky & deep-down painful but why?
Why did you ever in force play that way you wandered upon...
To not again wander that pasture you plowed & pissed upon?
Perhaps it's a darkness you never sought but were simply taught,
Pooor baby!
It's a snarky place
& perhaps
a bit of a race
but why bother
to annoy
when it's simply a toy?
C'mon! You have the balls...
you bowl like a toilet
flushing just to annoy it
& what now
you don't have
the operatic achievement?
Yes, you licked
as slick
as a salt-starved monkey
kinda funky
& deep-down painful
but why?
Why did you ever
in force play
that way you wandered upon...
To not again wander that pasture
you plowed & pissed upon?
Perhaps it's a darkness
you never sought
but were simply taught,
just a thought,
Pooor baby!
Sorry Q, just an inner compulsion.
I love this one.
Deeply enigmatic,
scolding, but whom?
Dabby
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Chilled glasses await
The family gathering.
Swooping low above
Migrating geese coming home.
And so the ice is melted.
... I'm not sure, but I think that might be actually sorta good?
I'd say.
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The way it was posted was ok, but I definitely think the original line is better. Ties it back to the first line.
Like Q said, this is a hard topic. This is well-written, and the pain of frustration comes across.
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What does 'supervise' mean?
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I have no Tanka
I can write for you today
With clouds in the sky
I find that I am depressed
I'll try again tomorrow.
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~ That's a lovely thought belissima!
But I'm afraid his determination of nothing after death at all still holds him.
Y'know? I never heard him laugh.
It's very clear. There is no joy here.
Only a gripping finality without a chance for redemption.
Well-done my dear.
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Kinda sounds like a word salad. No matter how you toss it.
Could you pass the bleu cheese, please?
You're absolutely right, however, in your aproach to experimentation. You gotta get away from the predictable sometimes.
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Don't worry it's only a tongue lashing....... this time.
Maybe you guys should close the door first?
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Yay!! for Theresa. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Maybe even say a prayer or something like that.
Hey Theresa, my last posting was number 777 for me.
That's gotta be interpreted as a lucky sign, huh?
Of course, by pointing this out, I no longer have 777 posts.
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Recieved in my e-mail today:
Dear author:
Upon reviewing your query letter, I would like to invite you to send your complete manuscript to us. Please send your complete manuscript to the below mentioned mailing address.
Woohoo!
Now lets see if they really like it.
Theresa
Yay!! for Theresa. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Maybe even say a prayer or something like that.
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~ I've lost control... Don't blame me!
They're all typing quite happy free.
Yep, these topics they now select
and what they may or may not erect
could be awkward, I won't deny...
What else are they gonna do with that pie?
Probably something messy.I s'pose it depends on what kind of pie that is.
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Well, one very important thing to realize...
Void where prohibited.
Don't a-void this, Phil.
~ From A Dream...
in Creative Expression & Cultural Arts
Posted · Edited by idealdabbler
Wow. That little change made all the difference in the world. It gave me shivers when I read it just now.
Love, Tom