Lachrymal
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Posts posted by Lachrymal
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I won't be your best critic because it's just not my style of music. I sounds good, easy on the ears but seemed to be missing somthing. I kept waiting for a climax through each song. To me they all seemed like the beginning, and or ending to great rock ballads but missing that middle part or chorus that kicks it up a notch.
All in all it sounded pretty good. I believe you said you wrote the music yourself which amazes me every time I never got past playing scales (keep that in mind while evaluating my opinion
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awesome, exactly what i'm aiming for!
as i've said before, i WANT people to get bored! i hate 'hooks'.
thank you,
Adrian
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I did try to listen to some, but with my slow connection, it didn't work the best. One thing I will say is that I felt some vocal harmonies would REALLY help fill it out. I think that you're very talented, and I totally admire what you've done.
I highly recommend learning to read music. I know that many people do just fine without that knowledge (as you obviously do) but it just helps it all make more sense, and makes it easier to learn other instruments. (I was having the hardest time with the guitar, because I couldn't understand it the way I understand a piano. On the piano, I knew which key was which note, and what all the intervals were, because I knew the layout of a keyboard and how to read music. Once someone explained to me which strings were which note on the guitar, and that each fret is a half step, I now have a much better grasp of it!)
Sorry, that was rambly....
All I REALLY want to say is that I think you're on the right track, you sound good, and you should keep working on it.
.gif)
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thank you
i dont' really believe that reading music would affect anything at all. i should explain myself better. i can't read music, i don't know what this or that is named. but i know completely how to use it, i know how it functions. music makes perfect sense to me already. i can listen to pretty much ANYTHING and pick it apart completely. i don't know what someone else calls this key or that key, but i can hear that key and play that key just fine. the name isn't important at all. any instrument i've picked up, i've been able to play. i obviously haven't played everything, (or even close to it) but i do truly believe that i can play anything.
i started teaching myself to read music at one point...my brother-in-law has college text books on the subject, as that's what he studied. but i got bored because it only gave names for everything i already knew. it just felt like a waste of time. i can seriously pick apart every single key to just about anything i hear...i don't have to know the names of them...that only helps in explaining it to someone else. but i can just play it for them if i really need to show them
and thank you on your advice, and to the vocal harmonies thing...i wasn't trying to make something sound studio...i DON'T want that right now. if i ever make a studio record, then fine, but not now. i want it to sound natural. even though in some of my more recent music i use synth and such, it's still played live and recorded live. screw-ups and all
it's a demo so i didn't want polishing and buffing. i wanted LOTS to be left to the imagination.
thank you dear joelly.
sorry, mine was rambly as well...all i was REALLY trying to say is, thank you for your sincere advice and thank you for taking the time to listen. i completely appreciate honest criticism.
Adrian
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Wow! Beauty, brains, personality, great tats, and a sucker for a guy who knows how to shift from Dorian mode to Mixolydian in a single musical phrase. You've got it ALL, girl!Â
Next time you're in Mississippi, feel free to stop by for some private lessons.
Yours,
Soph
BTW: How's the guitar playing coming along?
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Well thanks for asking! Its coming along. Progress has been slow with self teaching, but I'm taking a couple of lessons now! That keeps me motivated to practice, so that there's noticeable improvement between lessons. (The fact that I have a HUGE crush on the guy teaching me doesn't hurt either.
) Oh, and Adrian, I really am going to listen to your music and add something useful to this thread. I promise!
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you're making people smile, how much more useful could your comments be?
love,
Adrian
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You did well, it sounds great! There's nothing quite as exhilarating as the spontaneous creation of music. For the past few months, I've been devoting several hours a day to developing my improvisational chops - it's beginning to pay off, too.
Again, I'm looking forward to the next one.
Regards,
Verisoph
BTW: I've been playing around with your tuning, and I think that the best name for it might be F#9. I know that the lowest tone in a chord is usually considered the root, but in this case, the F# seems to have more gravity than the C#. The intervals in the tuning are almost identical to "Open G" (D G D G B D) and you might notice that the lowest note in Open G is not G, but D.
The interval between D and G, and the interval between C# and F# is a fourth... a rather weak connection. However, the interval between G and D, and the interval between F# and C# is a perfect 5th... that's the strongest connection that there is between two notes.
So, if you accept that F# is the root in your tuning, then you've got the root on the 5th string, followed by a perfect 5th on the 4th string, then the root again on the 3rd string, and a perfect 5th to that on the 1st string. You also have low octave of the 5th on the 6th string.
This leaves only the 2nd string to consider. G# is the 9th tone in the key of F#, which is why I called your tuning F#9.
However, I've given it this name for simplicity. If you strum all six strings, with the idea that the root is F#, the chord that you produce would technically be "C#/F# 5 9 -7" or "C#/F# 9 -3 -7"
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lmao
sounds good man
hahah, i dunno, i just play it, i don't even know how to read music...so...yeah...i can hear it, i can learn pretty much any song i hear if i want to. but i can't read music...nope.
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All I can say to the latest entry is... "yes." You have a rare gift in this day of what passes for music: you are not a clone of the synth-pop generation where the sound can be generated by any bored techie with enough time and a good mother board.
Your sound comes from a different place: a protected source deep within from where all fine arts originate.
Your sound is a welcome change from that worn out Xerox copy that every radio station everywhere is playing.
I will admit, I was tempted to cheat and look at the lyrics while listening to the song, but then I decided not to. I will go back and look them over later, but for now, I want to concentrate on hearing you the way I still can hear.
I want to appreciate your music in the pure way that my remaining hearing allows me: I am not hung up on the words, or the tune itself, but how the tone of your voice and the instrumentals make me feel on the whole. There is a quality about your music that reaches me and holds me. After listening, I feel that I have been given something - and I have, for you are sharing an art that is almost faded away.
I wish more school systems would bring back the arts and the acoustic music in the curriculum. Today's students would be so enriched to be exposed to learning the foundations in music that make what you offer possible. Today's MTV generation seems to bear no resemblance to mine: I remember the very moment MTV launched. I still remember sitting in front of the TV in my parents' house the moment the introduced us to the term VJ and played "Video killed the radio star" by the Buggles. Little did I know at that point that all that we called popular music would fall to the commercial coma of today's cookie cutter face of the week bleating out the sheep anthem of the day.
What is really sad is how few original songs are being written these days. The stuff on the radio is fun for the hard of hearing crowd like me, because we never have to learn new lyrics. The clones keep beating on the classics and thinking they have added some new spin. Uhh... no.
Stay true to yourself. There are many of us who will drink from that oasis of musical purity.
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sir...you have no idea what this post meant to me. some of the things you said brought me on the verge of tears. thank you...from the bottom of my soul, thank you so much
really...god, i can't express how much this meant to me. thank you so very much.
Adrian
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Excellent! I don't know how many songs you've written, but that's without a doubt the best one I've heard. You've been practicing, I can tell. Your guitar playing is becoming formidable.
I also couldn't help but notice that you've added a little extra instrumentation in this one - that's good - it fattens up your sound without having to resort to effects (which I know you don't much like). Is that a keyboard violin? It provides a terrific accompaniment to the guitar and vocals.
I can hardly wait for the next one.
Regards,
Verisoph
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heheh, i figured you'd like the synth in that
yeah, it's a synth-cello. i'm actually quite proud of it...simply for the fact that 90% of the cello in that song was all improv. only the chorus was prewritten (wanted stability on that) the rest, i just randomly hit record and started playing whatever came out...and the most amazing thing happened...it actually worked!
actually, i think the whole thing was only like 2 takes for the synth. i'm really glad you enjoyed it. thank you so much for listening
Adrian
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oooh, i'm actually glad that this topic was suddenly revitalized
i have a new song up that i REALLY REALLY want people to listen to!
it's called 'grattitude' i think it's the best song i've ever written...i'm absolutely in love with it.
you don't have to love it as much as i do...i don't think that's even possible, hah...but let me know what you think, please
www.myspace.com/adrianbartholomew
thank you, as always,
Adrian
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from low to high, it's
C#, F#, C#, F#, G#, C#
on paper, looks like it would be kinda monotonous, but it gives it quite a unique sound...bar chords, obvious work well, but there are a virtually endless number of finger possitions and slight alterations that give me a VERY wide variety of sounds. I'm able to play most standard tuned songs in my tuning, with a little work here and there...ironically, the tuning, while seemingly simplified, gives me a variety of more options
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Looks interesting. I'll have to play around with it.
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What would you call that tuning? C# sus 4 ?
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hmm...i have no idea...been wondering exactly what it would be called, actually...anyone else who picks up my guitar just calls it, "Adrian's tuning". heh, i guess that works
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It does not suck!!!
But it is a tad melencholy.
Have you done happy and upbeat tunes?
May I suggest you take your obvious talents into an upbeat, positive direction?? Just my two cents.. I am an audiophile, but personally I do not have any skills of my own, so my suggestion is not really worth much.
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hahah, thank you for listening...no, i really don't do any happy and upbeat music...lol, i couldn't imagine that working for me
my music always has a positive message...but i'm kind of a dark person naturally...i have humor (see the song, 'buddha is my homeboy', just the title is tongue-in-cheek humor) but it's always from a dark perspective. i'm honestly a VERY optimistic person, but i'm also always very dark as well
it's a weird balance, i know.um...yeah, actually this music is getting a lot lighter than it used to be...i dunno...just the way i write. i have this one song...i may put up a recording of it sometime...anyways, it's the most self-depricating song i've ever written...it's really quite horrible...but at the same time, it was something that i really NEEDED to write at that time...because it was a turning point...it pointed out how rediculous it all was. so...this horrible horrible song...this wholly depressing, self-depricating song...i entitled 'Euphoria'
it helped me a lot. i dunno, i'm weird
Adrian
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Went and saw it this weekend with a bunch of friends. The most truthful statement in the movie is when Zaphod explains that you can't be president if you have a whole brain. Doesn't that just explain EVERYTHING!
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lol, was it just me or did he (as an actor) REALLY seemed to have studied Mr. Bush's expressions for his character? Seriously, he had ALL the looks down, even that little coy smile with the 'heheheh' (shoulder's bouncing up and down). No?
Adrian
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yeah, classical music is rarely easy on guitar Â
however, i don't use a normal tuning...actually, i've never heard of the tuning i use being used by ANYONE....but yeah, i don't use a normal tuning, so we'll see how it works out for me when i go to work on Moonlight Sonata...
What tuning do you use?
from low to high, it's
C#, F#, C#, F#, G#, C#
on paper, looks like it would be kinda monotonous, but it gives it quite a unique sound...bar chords, obvious work well, but there are a virtually endless number of finger possitions and slight alterations that give me a VERY wide variety of sounds. I'm able to play most standard tuned songs in my tuning, with a little work here and there...ironically, the tuning, while seemingly simplified, gives me a variety of more options
Adrian
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I'm downloading some CSN now, never listened to them beforeÂ
So far, I have 'helplessly hoping'. I like this one so far, gonna keep exploring, see what i think of everything i find "Carry On" is also a really good tune.
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awesome, i'll check it out
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do you mean the last note the song ends on?Â
No, it occurs frequently under the verse.
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In that case, it's purposeful
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personally, I think it's great, but i'm kinda biased on the subject, so i need opinions! HONESTY, PLEASE
listen to all four songs before deciding, please, the thought of you judging my entire scope of musical talent (or lack thereof) from one or two songs scares the poopoo out of me, so PLEASE listen to them all
thank you
thank you,
THANK YOU
for your time and honesty
Adrian
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Your music definately does not suck.
While I was busy kicking the leprichaun, I listened to all four of the available clips, and I liked them all.
I wish I had that talent.
I'ma big fan of the epic rock bands ('65-'85)....I would love to hear your serious rendition of one of those classic rock tunes... particularly, I think you'd be able to do any number of the acoustic CSN tunes..
Mike
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Awesome, thank you so much
I'm downloading some CSN now, never listened to them before
So far, I have 'helplessly hoping'. I like this one so far, gonna keep exploring, see what i think of everything i find Thank you, both for your compliments, and for turning me on to a band i haven't really considered before
Adrian
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if you're a classical buff, you may be interested to know that i'm deeply considering transcribing Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' to guitar, and writing lyrics for it...
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I tried transcribing Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody (the famous one). I got a decent chunk of it done but I needed two guitars and a bass and also hit some trouble spots where the piano notes just aren't playable on the guitar.
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yeah, classical music is rarely easy on guitar
however, i don't use a normal tuning...actually, i've never heard of the tuning i use being used by ANYONE....but yeah, i don't use a normal tuning, so we'll see how it works out for me when i go to work on Moonlight Sonata...
also, i wouldn't transcribe it key for key...i would turn it into a guitar piece...turn it into something that COULD be a guitar song
Adrian
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I listened to Your Prayer. The vocals definitely needed to be more up front in the mix. It's not my kind of music but it's got potential. One thing I didn't like was the long slide up the fretboard. It seemed to end on an off-key note.
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do you mean the last note the song ends on? because, if that's it, yeah, i'm aware of that
thought about fixing it, but i don't have a lot of motivation (i'm lazy) so there it sits but, yeah, thank you for listening and replying
Adrian
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Well I listened to more than 1.
From a classical buff thats saying something.
Bit too slow loading on dial up thats why i didnt listen to more.
Voice wise just be YOU.
Keep working on it - You will make it.
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gracias, ed
if you're a classical buff, you may be interested to know that i'm deeply considering transcribing Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' to guitar, and writing lyrics for it...it would be quite a difficult task to write lyrics that would do the song justice, but...if i could pull it off, to MY satisfaction (which is the hardest satisfaction to gain
) then i think it may be well worth it...i dunno Adrian
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im glad your not into the catchy toons Adrian. Those types of songs I turn off! You do have to eventually find your nitch. But I think your getting there.
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thank you
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KOWZAHSS!
My reply has gone missing - AGAIN!
Adrian, I cannot critique, I conform to the old "I know nowt about art but I do know what I like .." syndrome ..
All I can say is that if someone were playing that stuff live I would want to stay and listen or if it were on the radio I would leave the tuning knob alone
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Awe, thank you mr. git, that works just as well as a full critique for me
Adrian
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I wish I had a faster connection. I like your voice but someone I think already said it needs spiced up a bit. Which I agree with. Very good.
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thank you very much...and actually, in a wierd way, i'm kind of happy that half of you are getting bored with the music halfway through...
I know, i'm wierd, but let me explain...I don't want it to be catchy...i hate it when people say, "you need to write a good hook!" that INFURIATES me. that's not what music is about...This is why i can't STAND pop music. it's all about hooks, being catchy.
i'd MUCH rather it kind of wash past you...i'd RATHER you get kinda bored...because then, MAYBE, you'll start searching for something else to hold on to within the music...like, "hmm...poop, there's no hook to this song...well...what IS there?" then, MAYBE, you'll actually find what the music really has in it...maybe you'll find the soul of the music...maybe you'll hear the lyrics, and maybe they'll wash past you too, but MAYBE you'll understand, maybe you'll relate, maybe they'll help you in some way...THAT'S what i'm after. and i'll GLADLY discard 100 potential fans for that one person who i REALLY touch with my music.
it's a lot of maybe's, but it's worth it
So...i write all this to say, basically, that i really really like the fact that i'm getting such diverse responses...this really let's me know that i'm on the right track! even if i'm not there yet...
now i'm sooo friggin' e'scited!
lol, and i really like the fact that someone voted 'This is GREAT background music...for vomiting.'
seriously, thank you all so much, i'm needing all the positives AND negatives so much, thank you thank you
anyone else, feel free to critique, please
Adrian
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This is probably going to be the strangest critique you ever got, since I am somewhat hard of hearing. You've got a lot of talent, there. Of the four songs, Kiss is my favorite (I see I am not alone, there).
My advice, and I truly don't mean this to be insulting. I mean this to be developmental: if you have access to a vocal coach, take advantage. Please keep reading: Your voice is a great instrument, but there are a few rough spots and in places a growling texture that have a great edge to them, but it takes a bit of training to be able to do that with your voice time after time and not actually damage the instrument. Do you ever notice your throat feeling sore if you sing for extended periods? That's a danger sign.
That being said, I love the acoustic and clean sound of your instrumentals. It hasn't been played with, and that's a good thing.
I wish I could understand the lyrics, but honestly, they are just past the point where I can make them out. The advantage for me is that I am less caught up in the poetry of the words and am more able to focus on the song as such.
For what it's worth, as a kid, I was completely deaf. My family invested mega bucks in getting me voice coaches who trained me to talk -- and to sing -- so that I didn't sound deaf. Now that my hearing is fading again, I still use my techniques and an occasional training session to keep things sounding good. Until I was 30 and developed a serious case of pharyngitis which damaged my vocal cords, I was able to sing over a 3 1/2 octave range. I don't sing so much any more, but I still use vocal techniques for speaking, and I have finally gotten used to being told that I "don't sound deaf."
Good luck with your music, and I would love to hear more when you write them.
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Awesome.
Wierd? mehbe a little, but regardless, this is my favorite critique so far
Not to belittle the other great critiques i've gotten so far, but i guess i feel like someone in your very unique possition would know a little more about the importance of sound than most...If you know what i mean hmm...i might consider a vocal coach, if i ever have the time or money...could be quite worthwhile..I have great range...but there are little blank spots in between different highs and lows, if that makes sense. i think a vocal coach could really help me to smooth all that out. (if i'm not making sense i mean something like, singing one key, then another, higher key just fine, but trying to nail the key in between, and completely missing it, yeah?)
the growly parts, or as i call 'em, 'vocal overdrive'
, i'm actually really careful with that...it took me a LONG time to be able to do that...and ironically, quitting smoking made me have to learn all over again...but anyways, i push limits just enough to expand my range, but i'm very careful not to overdo it...when i start getting tired, i quit pushing myself. No, my throat doesn't get soar...believe it or not, it's a pretty controlled vocal. but still, i deffinitely think that a vocal coach would be something to look into if i ever had the chance...my voice is the one thing that i'm terrified of, musically...It means a lot to me that you commented on the fact that i use a 'clean' guitar...that's one aspect that has become VERY important to me in my music, lately. I'm really starting to get sick of all the distortion on the radio...in moderation, it can be beautiful, and add a LOT to a song...but i really really think it's over-used...and doesn't even make a lot of sense, the way it's used sometimes...for instance, a love song with distortion all throughout, is like screaming at a person that you love them, right in front of their face. it's just...a little wierd
If anyone else is interested in the lyrics, perhaps i could put them up there, on my music page...or, if you're the only one that's interested, i could email them to you if you want? would deffinitely be no problem
thank you, for an AWESOME critique
Re:the rest of your post-
Hearing, seeing, whatever...these things aren't so important so long as you can FEEL.
of course, that's a little easier for me to say, i'm not going deaf, but this is what i would try to remember if i were. Even in music...we only use these sounds because we're attempting to make you FEEL something...it's all about feeling, remember that Adrian
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You are going to have to look into that coffee shop idea. It seems to be hitting on you somehow, and hinting to you, or three of us wouldn't have made that connection
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Heheh, i think you are correct
actually, that's kind of my plan...where i'm at now, about the only places there are to play are bars...I've played at one bar...but i don't much like the atmosphere. There are a couple of little coffee shops, but nothing that has live music...
So, i'm going to go to college...hopefully in August. The college i'm gonna try to go to is in Fayetteville, a little smaller city than where i'm at now, but it has a LOT more of the atmosphere i'm looking for. Actually, the college is on this street, called Dixon st., lined with little coffee shops and bars...those little places are the only reason i'm going to college...lol, gonna get a scholarship so i don't have to do anything for a while, and i can just go to school, and in the free time, play music at all the little places in that area
that's the plan anyways...i'll let you know if that works out
Adrian
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60's coffee shop music, lol, that's one haven't heard before
yeah, i'm terrified of my singing
 i don't have a lot of faith in my voice...pc, all pc.
'Buddha...' was acoustic
the rest were electric, but played kinda acoustically, without effects
and 'Your Prayer' had slide as well, first song i ever wrote with slide.
Thank you for your input, sincerely
Adrian
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Back in the late 60's there were these coffe shops where people would gather and play folk music and read poetry and such. Beatnik crowd I guess you would call it. I was more into rock and roll at the time.
If you are using your pc, have you tried MultiTrack Studio recording software? It works really well. There is also a tip about connecting electronic instruments to a pc sound card on my website which you may or may not know about.
Keep up the good work. The world need more creative people and less robots.
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lol, i keep getting this coffee shop connection with my music...i suppose it makes since... When me and my wife first split up she told me that we didn't match anyways, she was a small-town country girl, and I needed to be hanging out in a coffee shop somewhere. It was just funny because i had NEVER been to a coffee shop at the time, lol.
I'm not sure if i've tried that one or not...i've tried a lot of them, the one i'm using now is Cakewalk. It's my favorite so far. I know it doesn't sound much like i used ANYTHING, but that was kind of hte idea...I wanted it to be really really raw, i wanted it to sound like I would sound if you were sitting around my bedroom listening to me just jam on my own free time. without the effects, without the pollishing and buffing. some of hte songs are for a potential demo, so i wanted it to be as raw and honest as possible. EVEN if that costs me my demo. I'd rather someone be interested in my music for what it really is than for what kinda commercial crap it can be.
thank you, really
Adrian
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personally, I think it's great, but i'm kinda biased on the subject, so i need opinions! HONESTY, PLEASE
listen to all four songs before deciding, please, the thought of you judging my entire scope of musical talent (or lack thereof) from one or two songs scares the poopoo out of me, so PLEASE listen to them all
thank you
thank you,
THANK YOU
for your time and honesty
Adrian
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I think these would do well at the local folksie coffee shops. But I can't say I liked them. Not that I don't like folksie. I thought that they needed more changeups or something. they seemed to start out well for me, but grow tiresome. I honestly couldn't comment on the vocals, cause my puters sound wasn't good enough to really make them out..
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hmm...riight on, thank you for your thoughts
~ Just For Shorts...
in Creative Expression & Cultural Arts
Posted