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  2. Authentic self

    Thank you How do you determine when they have it right? von
  3. Authentic self

    Not carrying what others think is fine. However that that is different than understanding their input is, at times, of use. On occasion another holding a mirror ...spot on center is revealing. Often catching the light on us in angles we cannot reach, maybe von
  4. Authentic self

    Doesn't ever-changing self exist fully between the breath in and the breath out? von
  5. Authentic self

    Good point. That certainly is one possible scenario. Growth arrives with change. Discovering that our mannerisms are off-putting, our language ineffective our presentation counter-productive ... would all be opportunities to pause and check if that is helpful to us or ridiculous nonsense Either way they helped us. They gave us additional perspectives. Or they provided validation, no? von
  6. Authentic self

    BRAVO! von
  7. Authentic self

    Yes...either of us is the sum of our own choices.... agreed. At times others have helped me to see the impact of the choice in ways i did not anticipate Their feeback helped me to choose more wisely, perhaps, the next time My view of my action -however well intended-was not necessarily accurate ...it was not the take -away of others It is not .... very often It is not about pleasing them ....it is about communicating and acting more affectively Is it likely others help me to better myself, adjust the sails and course correct? Learning from others is a choice von
  8. Apologetics

    Greetings to you my brother, Well, I've read Mr. Strobel's classic work "The Case for Christ," and in general I agree with his arguments for the reality of the historical Jesus. But even in that work some of his views tilted toward a more fundamentalist view of Christianity then I believe in. His views tho make sense when you consider he is one of the leaders of the WIllowbrook church and it's sister churches. For myself, the works of C.S. Lewis when he discusses his understanding of Christianity, such as in his books "The Screwtape Letters" and "The Great Divorce" are works of Christian Apologetics that I can embrace. It's really important to understand that just as there are many different understandings of Christian Theology, there are many different systems of apologetics. There is no one universally agreed upon system of apologetics that all Christians would agree to. It really all depends on what resonates with each believers soul. In solidarity, Rev. Calli
  9. Authentic self

    Greetings to you all my sisters and brothers, In my own personal experience, I have come to learn that while I might think I know myself, without hearing from others how they have come to know and understand me, my perception may not always be spot on. Fortunately, I have a wife who is more than happy to point out things about myself that I may not have seen. In solidarity, Rev. Calli
  10. Forgiveness is necessary?

    Everything I have ever done, every decision I have made has led me where I am now. I am very happy with my life. I cannot regret anything that has brought me here. You may call me what you will.
  11. Yesterday
  12. Forgiveness is necessary?

    The more I this about this subject, the more I think that forgiving oneself may be the hardest to do.... Especially when one has "reasoned" his way into committing an act that would be regretted by any individual capable of honest self-analysis.... "The man that says he has lived his life with no regrets, is either a liar or a fool." - Me
  13. Forgiveness is necessary?

    I am persuaded that if this need exists -- it rises out of a religious cultural context. A Christian might need to forgive. I was never Christian. I need to let go.
  14. Authentic self

    In general terms, I have been harshly misunderstood by others. When I must evaluate, I go with my own perceptions. In religious terms, I have been so badly misunderstood, that I don't care at all what the pious think of me.
  15. Forgiveness is necessary?

    Perhaps, then, it is singular to me. I do not do guilt. I do not seek forgiveness.
  16. Forgiveness is necessary?

    Actually, it doesn't. Mostly because the conscience is not rational. I am capable of being completely convinced I am doing the right thing, yet completely wracked with guilt over what I am doing. It seems to be the same basic phenomenon as being angry with someone for doing something, even though you know they should have done it. Its kind of stupid and kind of unavoidable.
  17. Forgiveness is necessary?

    Rationalizing one's behavior prevents guilt and only the guilty need forgiveness. We all rationalize our actions and reactions, some more than others.
  18. Forgiveness is necessary?

    It helps to alleviate the guilt and shame that inevitably come from being an imperfect being with a conscience. In other words, being forgiven helps us forgive ourselves.
  19. Forgiveness is necessary?

    I don't think it is. At best, I think you can just forget about it temporarily. Once reminded of the wrong you did not forgive, the anger will come bubbling back up, the same as ever. That is how it works in my experience, anyway. It isn't until I can get past the idea that someone owes me a debt that I can stop resenting it not being paid. If I hold onto the grudge, the grudge keeps its hold on me. I suspect we may end up talking past each other on this one by each saying the same things but with words the other finds unfamiliar...
  20. Authentic self

    You can't really know yourself, any more than you can know the wind. Nothing about you is permanent. Everything about you has changed, is changing, and will change. The self is a cultivated illusion.
  21. Forgiveness is necessary?

    different strokes for different folks sums it up for me.
  22. Authentic self

    i think many define themselves through the auspices of others. but then others determine your self worth.
  23. Authentic self

    We receive feed back from birth to grave. This feedback is as much a part of our environment as the air we breathe. That feedback, along with other environmental influences ( to include family and ethnic histories), give us our sense of who we are as well as our sense of self worth.
  24. Authentic self

    yes you can,even tho it is difficult to explain.like you say "we are the sum of our choices".is it an accurate picture?maybe. feed back can be positive or negetive depending on how it's taken,and how it was intended to be presented.how we use it is an entirely different story.
  25. Authentic self

    Can you really know yourself without feedback from others? Without seeing how others see us... are we not flat .... missing a dimension as it were? von
  26. If the person whom the offense is committed against doesn't know that you regret offending them, then yes, I believe its necessary to apologize. God may know your sorry that you stepped on someones foot, but the person limping on one foot who doesn't hear an "excuse me, I'm sorry", doesn't have a clue if you failed to verbally express it.
  27. Forgiveness is necessary?

    I suppose there are other methods than those I follow. If someone finds what works for them why should I judge. My instruction book for life tells me; " For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.". I do remember watching a talk show with Dr Caroline Leaf and she was talking about how the act of forgiveness released chemicals in your brain that allow new neural networks to form.
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